Celeb Trend to Try: Irina Shayk’s Cut-Outs

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Russian supermodel Irina Shayk showed some serious skin at the “All is Lost” premiere in Cannes yesterday in a plunging Roberto Cavalli cutout dress with a sheer paneled skirt. Cutouts were a huge trend this spring, and while they can be a subtly sexy way of revealing just the right amount of bare skin, they can also make you look like you should be working The Boulevard with Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. To keep from looking cheap, stick with subtle (re: small) cut outs in one of three places: the shoulders, the arms, or the back. I don’t recommend cutouts in the breast, stomach, or hip/thigh area unless you’re getting all dolled up for a conjugal visit or a guest spot on Springer.

How to do cut-outs right (and wrong!) in the gallery above.

Who to Hate More: Madonna, or Kim Kardashian and Other News

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Madonna Kim Kardashian

It’s hard to know who to hate more in this picture, Kim Kardashian or Madonna. Fortunately, a 15-inch barrel and bird shot means you don’t have to decide!

Webby wonders:

Did Robert Pattinson dump Kristen Stewart when he found texts from Rupert Sanders? (Celebitchy)

Tornado survivor finds her missing dog right in the middle of a live interview. *Tear* (Hollywood Rag)

You need this dress, and you need to pair it with a gladiator sandal. You should get on it right now. (Modavanti)

The one hundred greatest quotes from Arrested Development, in honor of this Sunday’s big premiere. (Mandatory)

Suffice it to say Ryan Gosling’s new movie is NOT a hit with the critics. (Huffington Post)

Miley Cyrus hopes that pictures of her cleavage will convince you her new single is worth downloading. It’s not. (Popoholic)

Francis Bean Cobain slams Kendall Jenner in a blistering battle of seriously does anybody care. (popbytes)

To the delight of the leering paparazzi, Miranda Kerr suffers a wardrobe malfunction. (Celeb Slam)

Paz de la Huerta looks like she swabbed her face with the inside of a potato chip bag. (DS)

Which famous athlete’s wife beat up his pregnant girlfriend? Jer-ry! Jer-ry! (BG)

Take a look inside Amanda Bynes’ weird drug den, where she and her wolfpack of one shave their heads and talk amongst themself. (Jezebel)

Kellie Pickler wins Dancing with the Stars. Now she’s officially D-list! (Daily Stab)

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Celeb Trend to Try: Jessica Biel’s Serpentine Necklace

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Jessica Biel’s feather-underskirted tea-length Marchesa dress is stunning on its own, but the piece de resistance of her red carpet look is her Bvlgari emerald and diamond serpentine necklace. Snakes are both terrifying and beautiful, like the old Angelina Jolie in her Billy Bob days, but wearing a live python around your neck is just too Dusk-Til-Dawn for real life. Not to mention snakes pee whenever they feel like it, and good luck getting a seat at the bar with an angry snake on your shoulders and stinking of snake pee. Do a serpent in metal and precious stones instead, and now you’re sexy and edgy while still being tasteful, like Angelina Jolie now.

More of Jessica on the red carpet in Cannes + seven ways to get your serpent on in the gallery above!

Billboard Music Awards Worst Dressed

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The Billboard Music Awards were last night, and I don’t know because I’ve already stopped caring. Suffice it to say, the fashion certainly reflected the general milieu of the evening, “crap.” Leading the charge was Madonna, in a unfortunate combination of netting and no shame. Not since the days of The Heart Break Kid Sean Michaels have I seen such blatant display of crotch-centricity. Fail.

Celeb Look to Steal: Nicole Kidman’s Cap-Toe Pumps in Cannes

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Apologies for the lack of updates the last few days — after a brief misunderstanding with the Miami-Dade Sheriff’s Office and the Ascena Retail Group, Inc., I have been released on my own recognizance with the understanding that I am not allowed within 500 feet of a Dress Barn. Apparently yelling at store patrons with a megaphone and burning Daisy Dollars constitutes harassment, even if it comes from a place of love. You can’t save everyone, I guess.

But I can still yell at you with the metaphorical megaphone of the internet, and today’s celeb look to steal is the cap-toe pointy-toe pump. If you don’t have one, get one (actually, you’ll probably need two, unless you have a peg leg). It’s classic, and an easy way to add color and texture to a neutral outfit. Plus the ones with metal cap-toes can really do a number on a kidney if you’re ever being wrongfully detained for trying to save women from the horror of polyester blends.

Some to try:

  • These patent leather Steven Fearless pumps are accented with a polished metallic toe cap. ($149)

  • Sergio Rossi’s cap toe pumps have a soft metallic sheen and rich colorblock patent leather. ($512)

  • Manolo Blahnik’s Irie Cap-Toe Quilted Pump ($695) features a strongly pointed toe to counterbalance soft quilted napa leather.

  • Sergio Rossi’s green and pink color block stiletto pumps have a pointed toe cap with woven detailing, contrasting black geometric print, a patent red panel and a leather stiletto heel. ($693)