Celeb Look to Steal: Nicole Kidman’s Cap-Toe Pumps in Cannes

Apologies for the lack of updates the last few days — after a brief misunderstanding with the Miami-Dade Sheriff’s Office and the Ascena Retail Group, Inc., I have been released on my own recognizance with the understanding that I am not allowed within 500 feet of a Dress Barn or any of its other retail chains. Apparently yelling at store patrons with a megaphone and burning Daisy Dollars constitutes harassment, even if it comes from a good place. You can’t save everyone, I guess.

But I can still yell at YOU with the metaphorical megaphone of the internet, and today’s celeb look to steal is the cap-toe pointy-toe pump. If you don’t have one, get one. It’s classic AND trendy, and an easy way to add color and texture to a neutral outfit. Plus the ones with metal cap-toes can really do a number on a kidney if you get a clean shot in while you’re being wrongfully detained.

Some to try:

  • These patent leather Steven Fearless pumps are accented with a polished metallic toe cap. ($149)
  • Sergio Rossi’s cap toe pumps have a soft metallic sheen and rich colorblock patent leather. ($512)
  • Manolo Blahnik’s Irie Cap-Toe Quilted Pump ($695) features a strongly pointed toe to counterbalance soft quilted napa leather.
  • Sergio Rossi’s green and pink color block stiletto pumps have a pointed toe cap with woven detailing, contrasting black geometric print, a patent red panel and a leather stiletto heel. ($693)

Angelina Jolie had a Double Mastectomy and Other News

Angelina Jolie double mastectomy

In a New York Times op-ed piece called “My Medical Choice,” Angelina Jolie revealed that she underwent a double mastectomy after genetic tests showed she had an 87% risk of developing the breast cancer that killed her mother at age 56. People Magazine says:

The 37-year-old actress had the surgery in February and completed the last of the follow-up procedures in April.

“I wanted to write this to tell other women that the decision to have a mastectomy was not easy,” says Jolie in the column appearing Tuesday. “But it is one I am very happy that I made. My chances of developing breast cancer have dropped from 87 percent to under 5 percent. I can tell my children that they don’t need to fear they will lose me to breast cancer.”

Jolie, who has six children with Brad Pitt, says the actor was at her side every step of the way.

“I am fortunate to have a partner, Brad Pitt, who is so loving and supportive,” she writes. “So to anyone who has a wife or girlfriend going through this, know that you are a very important part of the transition.”

Pitt was with her “for every minute of the surgeries,” and even during the difficult times, “We managed to find moments to laugh together.”

“We knew this was the right thing to do for our family and that it would bring us closer. And it has,” she writes.

Jolie describes in detail her surgery and follow-up procedures, including receiving implants, and that now her children “see nothing that makes them uncomfortable.”

“They can see my small scars and that’s it,” she writes. “Everything else is just Mommy, the same as she always was. And they know that I love them and will do anything to be with them as long as I can.

“On a personal note,” she continues, “I do not feel any less of a woman. I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity.”

I just hoped they kept a tight reign on whoever cleaned up after the surgeries, because I have a feeling genuine Angelina Jolie breast tissue would make a mint on eBay. I know the fake Angelina Jolie breast tissue I put up last week broke twenty bucks before the jerks made me take it down.

In other news…

Selena Gomez does tribal print in a triangle bikini. (Celeb Slam)

Will Smith said he lets his kids “make their own decisions” and that he “doesn’t pull the parent card,” and that brilliant method of parenting now has his fifteen year old son seeking legal emancipation. (Celebitchy)

Is Baz Luhrman’s The Great Gatsby just Moulin Rouge with a hip-hop soundtrack? (Huffington Post)

If the answer is “Tom Arnold and Kevin Federline,” I don’t think I really even want to know the question. (Mandatory)

Video of Kanye West walking headlong into a sign and then freaking out and trying to accuse the paparazzi of making it happen. (Hollywood Rag)

Rihanna got a new lame tattoo of a lion head on her index finger. (Hollywood PQ)

This is why you NEVER stick your genitals into a hornet’s nest. Boy, if I had a nickel… (COED Magazine)

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Would You Rather: Kerry Washington’s Clip-in Color or Diane Kruger’s Dip-Dyed Ends

Would You Rather Kerry Wahshington or Diane Kruger

“Would you rather” is a classic game in which two worst-case scenarios are pitted against each other and you must choose one of the options, no matter how terrible it might be. For example, “Would you rather slide down a banister of razor blades into a pool of Texas Pete, or slide down a banister covered in Texas Pete and land in a pool of razor blades?” The new celebrity beauty trend of putting colored crap in your hair naturally lent itself to this game, because every way you slice it, it’s bad. Unless you’re thirteen or a blood relative of Rainbow Brite, you’re not pulling this look off.

Sooo… would you rather dip-dye your ends like Diane Kruger, or clip-in some color a la Kerry Washington?

Hot or Not: Manhancing Underpants

28-year-old rugby player-turned-model Thom Evans was debuted as the chiseled derriere of D. Hedral’s new line of manhancing, cheek-separating underpants. Mail Online explains:

D.HEDRAL’s Anglefit range [is] designed to shape and enhance a man’s bottom.

Each pair of the pants has been designed to help lift the bottom and give a more defined and pert look.

You know, if you’d have asked me yesterday, I would have sworn that “manhancing” was something you did with your coven during the vernal equinox to promote fertility. I think we all learned a little something here today.

SI Covergirl Kate Upton in Vogue

Kate Upton’s photo shoot in the June issue of Vogue has a real “Eva Herzigova in her Wonderbra heyday” look about it, and it really works for her. It’s a lot better than her photo shoot for V magazine, which had more of a “would you like us to stay on the line until help arrives” feel to it.