Britney Might Have Narcolepsy
Tags: Britney Spears
Britney Spears has found a perfectly legal alternative for crystal meth. The only catch is you have to be narcoleptic to get a prescription. Or not! The Daily Mail reports
While the mother-of-two was out in LA yesterday, she was snapped carrying a box of Provigil in her handbag. The drug, which must be prescribed by a doctor, is used to treat narcolepsy. Neurologist Dr. Mark Milstein told Us Weekly: “This medication won’t give you a ‘high,’ like a stimulant would. The primary effect of this medication is only to help keep you from falling asleep.”
You know, I’ve done a lot of drugs in my day, but I always steered clear of the meth. I didn’t think twice about sending brain cells to a Jaegery grave or snorting two-thirds of every paycheck I earned, but I’d be damned if I was going to knowingly ingest something whose main side effect was “open oozing sores on your face.” Any idiot knows being pretty is more important than being smart. Being awake for seventy-two hours straight with a face full of cystic boils might come in handy when you’re working an all-nighter at the Taco Bell drive-thru, but it’s not gonna help you get laid like having clear skin and all your teeth and wandering around a bar in a drunken stupor. That’s why they always say “Nothin’ greases the sheets like alcohol!” It doesn’t have anything to do with the beer shits like you probably thought. Anyway, you won’t hear anybody saying anything like that about meth. That’s why it pays to be discerning when selecting your crippling addiction!
12 Comments, Comment or Ping
syd
Not saying she doesn’t have it, but true narcolepsy is rare.
Look at all the shit hanging in that fucking car…the keyrings..the pumpkins…baby shoes? Jesus Christ!
Oct 26th, 2007
abby
Yeah, I’m pretty sure she’s not narcoleptic. She’s just used to being cranked on meth for days at a time without sleeping.
Oct 26th, 2007
margaretta
She sure ain’t no sleeping beauty
Oct 26th, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
syd, no car is fully accessorized until you have the fuzzy dice dangling from the rearview mirror, a bobblehead chiuahaua in the back and dancing hula girl on the front dashboard.
Oct 26th, 2007
sonya
So many dicks, so little time. A girl’s gotta do what’s she gotta do.
Oct 26th, 2007
sarah
Provigil is also used to treat cocaine and amphetamine addicts. Not surprising here.
Oct 26th, 2007
bionic bunny
it appears that its primarily used for people w/ sleep apnea and other sleep disorders w/o CNS side effects.
so, basically, she probably thinks now she can dope all night and still stay awake. great. nothing worse than a wide-awake drunk.
otto, don’t forget your graduation tassel and st. christopher medallion.
Oct 26th, 2007
jimmy
i actually work at a sleep center and have narcolepsy and 1 in every one hundred thousand people have it it isn’t rare and it isn’t how they portray it on tv it is just you go into rem real early and you never get rested sleep so you are really tired but provigil ins’t just for narcoleptics they use it for other ailments as well
Oct 27th, 2007
Iain
I thought this tatty skank didn’t actually have a valid drivers licence?
Oct 27th, 2007
Axeldee
NARCOLEPSY MY ASS…LEAVE HER ALONE!
http://WWW.BANGING.COM
Oct 29th, 2007
DiamondSal
She’s wanting to legally keep the weight off and rev up her digestive system with those pills. Paris is ADD? uh huh. She’s also on laxatives and direutics I bet, hence eating what you want with little worry, but maintaing fat and weight in the wrong places by bloat, bad skin, hair, nails, mental stress. Her blood is rejecting her drug-laxative diet..
Oct 29th, 2007
Elizabeth
she is using it as a help for her addiction.. to meth or crank.. whatever she was addicted to .. as I am narcoleptic .. I know about this drug and it is used to treat narcolepsy but has many other uses .. such as for drug addicts
Jan 15th, 2008
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