If the cast remains intact, Brokeback Mountain 2 will probably be the highest grossing sequel ever. [Cityrag]
Prostitute Jordan and man whore Peter Andre like to ensure that they look like clowns when they go out together. [GossipJockey]
Nicole Richie is as thin as the chair she’s sitting on and as sexy as diarrhea. Someone please feed this poor girl. [The Bastardly]
Do you know why Jessica Simpson scratches her head when she wakes up in the morning? Because she doesn’t have balls.
More blonde hair after the jump.
Harrison Ford hates the Internet because he fears that people spread malicious gossip about him. The actor says:
“The worst thing about the internet is that anything and everything is up for grabs. How can that be, when I limit my public conversations to about once every couple of years? Any kind of rubbish goes on the internet and it can have a fucking life of its own.”
Don’t worry Harrison. No one wants to know that you wear nothing but a tutu and a football helmet when you’re cooking.
Naomi Campbell just got arrested for accusing her housekeeper of stealing a pair of $200 Chip & Pepper jeans and then throwing a crystal-encrusted BlackBerry against her head. She smiles because she knows that money can solve and buy everything. And the cops smile because they’re hanging out with a supermodel. What we got here is a bunch of happy idiots.
One more pic after the jump.
Courtney Love has reportedly sold 25% of Nirvana’s back catalogue to Larry Mestel, a music mogul. When the sale was rumoured earlier this year, U2 singer Bono was in the frame but it appears that meetings between Bono and Love came to nothing. Courtney says:
“We’re going to remain very tasteful, and we’re going to retain the spirit of Nirvana and take Nirvana to places it’s never been before.”
That girl scares the shit out of me. She’s an unpredictable crack whore so don’t be surprised if you hear a Kurt Cobain song featuring Ashlee Simpson in the near future. Damn.
Even if Christina Aguilera is drunk as hell, her pervert husband still plans on having sex with her. On a side note, he (I don’t remember his name and I don’t give a fuck) looks like Doby the Elf. [The Bastardly]
Kate Moss is rumoured to have “adopted” Lindsay Lohan to help her get her life back together. What a great idea! Four nostrils can snort more cocaine! [Hollywoodtuna]
Keira Knightley has turned 21, and she’s now free to drink and drive like a crazy mofo. [Egotastic!]
Whitney Houston went from diva to half-toothless crack addict. Here a some facts about her taken from a story in The National Enquirer:
Whitney hallucinates and sees “demons” when she’s high. She bites and beats herself black-and-blue but blames the “Devil” for the injuries. “The Devil be hitting me,” Whitney reportedly told Brown. When Whitney’s mom, Cissy, forced her to attend rehab sessions in March 2004, Tina Brown says, Whitney smoked crack on the way to the meetings and dodged the urine drug tests saying: “I’m not giving you no pee today. I don’t have none right now.” Whitney allegedly loses her $6,000 set of false teeth when she’s high and once appeared toothless, scaring the kids at her niece’s school. Whitney smokes as much as an “eight-ball” (1/8 of an ounce) of crack at a time, mixing it with marijuana encased in a cigar wrapper, according to Tina Brown. In 2004, a drug dealer called Bobby Brown and ordered him to remove the paranoid and out-of-control Whitney from his crack house. “Come get your wife. I’m sick of this b—-,” the dealer reportedly complained.
More disturbing pics of Whitney’s drug den after the jump.
I have to admit I’m totally addicted to Pete Doherty. This guy fucking rules. Today Page Six reports that Kate Moss‘ crack-smoking ex has a new hobby:
The Babyshambles frontman is buying old Jaguars, parking them illegally and buying replacements when they get towed away. He’s now gone through eight Jags in as many weeks, London’s Daily Mirror reports. Doherty generally chooses cars that cost less than $2,000. When his last was towed, he went straight to his favorite vintage Jag dealer, quickly found a gray sedan he liked, slapped down the cash and drove off - a cigarette dangling from his lips all the while.
I once did that with my clothes. I didn’t want to waste time washing them so I threw them away and bought new ones instead. After one month, I was broke and naked. At least I have a computer.
Tori’s boyfriend, Dean McDermott, has a tattoo of her manly face on his upper arm. But he’s not dating that girl for her ugly face, is he? Did I mention the boobies? Have you seen her new show “Notorious“? Are monkeys there yet? Wtf am I saying? Are you still reading this? Arrr!
More dilemma after the jump.
Michael Lohan, who is currently serving time in jail for drunk driving and aggravated assault, told The National Enquirer that he’s tired of reading stories about his daughter’s love life and he wants her to start dating Wilmer Valderrama again. He says:
“Lindsay is linked with a lot of different guys in print - most of them are just people she bumps into in clubs. None of them mean a thing to her. I always found Wilmer a cut above the other guys she dated. When I met him he was a gentleman and very respectful to her. I like that.”
Lindsay’s father is definitely deranged. He probably heard Wilmer giving up major dirt on the Hollywood celebs he’s “dated” and bragging he has an 8 inches dick during a recent interview with Howard Stern. Wanting to give your daughter’s ass to a giant penis which has already seen more pussy than a gynaecologist will see in his entire life is insane.
Long before he wasted away his life with Jennifer Aniston and then slept with Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt made a prayer… This is for all the ladies! [The Bastardly]
Jessica Simpson makes Jenna Jameson look like an amateur. These days, there’s no difference between holding a microphone or a penis. [Hollywoodtuna]
Now that Sharon Stone is old and ugly, young blondes like Sienna Miller are waiting in line to spread their legs in Basic Instinct 3. [Egotastic!]
Dustin Hoffman shows young pirates that an old buccaneer like him can pull off some tricks and grab some younger booty.
More pics and a mea culpa after the jump.
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