My favorite Hollywood action hero Vin Diesel has denied gay rumors and insists he wants to keep his personal life private. The “XXX” star is famous for refusing to spill the beans on his romantic relationships. He explains:

“I’m not gonna put it out there on a magazine cover like some other actors. I come from the Harrison Ford, Marlon Brando, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino code of silence.”

Did you hear that, y’all? It’s not because Vin looks like a giant penis that he wants to stick his head in other men’s assholes.

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Here’s more proof that Christina Aguilera is a cheap inflatable doll. Here you can see the interior of her mouth after she gave a blowjob to Pinocchio.

An exclusive pic of Xtina sucking Plasticman after the jump.

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Nicollette Sheridan’s ex claims that the actress, who is a man-eater on “Desperate Housewives”, is useless in bed. He says:

“I guess she’s sexy on screen, but definitely not in a real-life relationship,” former fiancé Nicklas Soderblom told the London Mirror. “She uses her sexuality to get what she wants and as soon as the ring is on her finger, she stops wanting to have sex. She’s afraid of commitment.”

That’s what I learned while watching “The Lord of the Rings”. Once the ring is on the finger, the bright side of life disappears. Just ask Frodo. The poor hobbit didn’t have sex for several months because of a damn ring. Thank God he got rid of it.

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Scarlett Johansson has been named “Sexiest Girl in the World” by FHM. I named her the “Most Beautiful Ugly Girl in the World.” [Egotastic!]

I will never thank God enough for helping Petra Nemcova to survive the tsunami. Or is it the devil? [Hollywoodtuna]

Beyonce’s ass is nearly as big as Jay-Z’s nostrils. Yeah, that means her booty is huge. [The Bastardly]

And New York loves your boobies, baby!

More pics after the jump.

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Some years ago, Wilmer Valderrama came to Hollywood on a mission: to have sex with as many female celebrities his penis could afford to. And he just did it. Yesterday, he spilled all regarding his Hollywood conquests during an interview with Howard Stern that aired on Sirius Satellite Network:

Among his revelations were that Lindsay Lohan was one of the best girls he’s ever had slept with, Ashlee Simpson was loud in bed and he rated Jennifer Love Hewitt an “eight” out of ten when it came to sex. The actor talked about his sexual prowess in detail, claiming that he has been with two women at once and also engaged in anal sex with a famous actress, who he refused to name. The star discussed dating singer/actress Mandy Moore, whom he met when she guest starred on his hit show, saying they were each other’s “first loves”. Valderrama claims he is “blessed” when it comes to penis size, clocking in at “slightly bigger” than eight inches (20 centimetres). He also revealed that he has videotaped his sexual escapades on numerous occasions, but erased the tapes to keep them from being linked on the internet.

Some will say he’s a man whore, but he’s just doing what any pirate would do in his position: drink, fuck and forget.

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Keira Knightley is not exactly a pirate, but hey, she starred in “Pirates of the Caribbean.” Just ask Captain Jack Sparrow. Anyway, the photographer who took the picture you’ll find after the jump is a real pirate. Arrr!

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Katie Holmes is gearing up for the silent delivery of her first child after Scientologists were spotted carrying signs into the couple’s home, reminding her to shut the fuck up during labour. Holmes, who has abandoned her Catholic beliefs for a religion that is based on a poorly written sci-fi novel, , is awaiting the arrival of her baby with fiance Tom Cruise any day now at their Beverly Hills mansion. Tom and his pals carried huge placards saying:

“Be silent and make all physical movements slow and understandable.”

When the thetan will be born, I urge people to protest in front of their home and carry signs saying, “Scream as loud as you can and run for your life, Katie!”

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Fergie celebrated 31 years of ugliness this weekend. Note that she has good parts, but these are roughly five to six years old. [Hollywoodtuna]

Katie Price, aka Jordan, prostitutes herself to push her publication at a book signing in Dublin, Ireland. If you buy a book, you get a free blowjob. [Hollywood Rag]

Knowing that teenage girls stay home alone and have sex is interesting. If Mischa Barton is involved, it’s even better. [Egotastic!]

What would the word “drunk” and “boobies” mean if Tara Reid ceased to exist? Absolutely nothing. Respect the drunk boobies.

One more pic after the jump.

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Page Six reports that Britney Spears and her husband Kevin Federline love little people:

At Federline’s birthday last week at Tao in Las Vegas, Spears had two female midgets carry in his birthday cake. One night later, the couple was back at Tao for a special performance arranged by Spears. A Cher impersonator sang “If I Could Turn Back Time” before “she” was joined by a midget Sonny Bono impersonator, and they both sang “I Got You Babe.” The lovebirds “partied into the wee hours of the morning with Cristal, Jack Daniel’s, etc.,” said our spy.

It looks like a scene from “Willow” to me. The sorcerer who bewitched Britney and made her fall in love with such an idiot must be very powerful.

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Mischa sometimes looks like a frog ready to hop.

More legs after the jump.

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