Life before “That ’70s Show” wasn’t always easy for Wilmer Valderrama and his 8-inch Latin love rocket. Before having sex with basically every starlet in Hollywood, including Lindsay Lohan and Mandy Moore, the actor developed his skills in a farm. He tells Maxim:

“When I was 10 years old, we’d pick out a cow and boom! They’d hit it in the head with a hammer, lift it up by the back legs, and skin it in front of us. Then I’d take the head home and make soup”

Then he used to have sex with Kelly, Dolly, Pamela and every other goat out there. It should be noted that Dolly was a virgin.

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Bai Ling uses her nipple to promote her new movie Shanghai Baby at Cannes. [The Bastardly]

DJ AM dumps Nicole Richie, because kissing her is like kissing a sack of bones. [A Socialite's Life]

Elizabeth Hurley follows the trend and brings her breasts to Cannes. [Hollywoodtuna]

Ubisoft snapped up the game rights to the hit TV show ‘Lost.’ [Wonderland]

Halle Berry got all the attention at the ‘X-Men: The Last Stand’ premiere in Cannes. Blame it on the boobies.

More pics after the jump.

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Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine character killed so many people in ‘X-Men: The Last Stand’ that director Brett Ratner had to leave many on the cutting room floor. Hugh tells sci-fi.com:

“It was fantastic, and there is a good 50 more on the cutting room floor, trust me. I was like, ‘Where are all those other guys that I killed?’ One poor guy I clocked right in the eye, and he actually had this prosthetic, and I took half of the prosthetic off, and so we kind of kept filming, … and the poor guy is on the cutting-room floor. That guy is like, ‘I took a punch from Wolverine, and I’m not even in there!’”

The poor guy probably became blind so I doubt he really cares since he won’t be able to see the movie anyway.

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Heather Graham: I know producers canceled my show “Emily Reason’s Why Not” like you flush the toilet but I still got my boobies.

More pics after the jump.

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‘Lost’ hottie Michelle Rodriguez is going to be jailed for the second time in five weeks. Michelle was arrested in Honolulu last December on drunk driving charge and pleaded guilty to it last month. She spent some time behind the bars last month and now she has been sentenced 60 days in jail for violating her probation for the second time.

The 27-year-old - who reportedly recorded a blood alcohol level of 0.17, more than twice the legal limit, when she was pulled over in December - has already served five days in jail for the Hawaii incident. Rodriguez was also ordered to complete 30 days of community service, a placement with the Mothers Against Drunk Driving victim impact panel, some time at a hospital morgue and an alcohol education program. Rodriguez - who did not comment as she left the US court - will start her jail term later this month. Last week she said to US People magazine: “I’m a gypsy. I can see beauty in a jail cell.”

Now that’s what I call talking like a pirate.

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Victoria Beckham dresses up as a giraffe. As if her neck wasn’t big enough. [Dlisted]

Tommy Hilfiger smacks Axl Rose. Who thought you would ever hear these two names in the same sentence? [Popbytes]

Watch you know who die in you know what. SPOILER ALERT! [The Velvet Hot Tub]

Nicole Kidman wants to kick the ass of Katie Holmes. [The Post Chronicle]

Don’t put your salad in the war bowl or else… [CubeMe]

Butterface has a sister, and while her face is better, her boobies are made of butter. How poetic is this?

Sexy actress Kate Beckinsale told MTV she’s not interested in playing Wonder Woman in the upcoming Joss Whedon big screen adaptation:

As Kate Beckinsale sees it, she could never play Wonder Woman even if the part were offered to her. “I never got the underwear,” she explained recently. “My mother didn’t believe in nylon underwear. She thought it made you itchy.” It’s been nearly a year since rumors surfaced that Beckinsale would star in Joss Whedon’s ‘Wonder Woman’ movie, and the actress is still having to answer to it. “I get texted from friends all around the world saying, ‘That’s so awesome! I’m so happy for you. That’s so great,’ and I have to just text them and say, ‘It’s actually not true,’ ” Beckinsale said. “I think I’ve embarrassed my daughter quite enough.” Actually, there’s a more honest reason beyond wardrobe: A superhero movie is not what Beckinsale wants to do next. Judging by her upcoming movie, it seems the actress is more interested in dramas.

Kate already dressed up as Wonder Woman for Halloween so I guess she wasn’t offered enough money for the role. Producers, it’s time to open your wonder wallet.

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Jessica Alba: No more nude scenes, you bastard!
The Screenwriter: Please, I’m just a screenwriter! The producers made me do it!

More violence after the jump.

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Catholic actor (and wannabe director) Mel Gibson has slammed ‘The Da Vinci Code’ book and movie for attacking the beliefs that he holds sacred. Mel, who directed the lame movie ‘The Passion of the Christ,’ has been outraged by the thriller’s controversial plot concerning Jesus Christ and Mary Magadalene. He says:

“What worries me is that people will take this as fact. I’m not angry, per se, that it refutes everything I hold sacred, the foundations of my beliefs. The Da Vinci Code is an admitted work of fiction but it cleverly weaves fact into maverick theories in a way that will appear plausible to some.”

Mel, you were kinda funny when you showed your ass in ‘Braveheart’ or when you had sex with Michelle Pfeiffer in ‘Tequila Sunrise.’ But those were the good old days. Now you’re pissing me off. I’m sick of those idiots complaining about a damn work of fiction. Do we hear so many people complaining about the work of fiction that is the Bible?

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Okay, now I feel bad about giving Britney Spears such a rough time lately. [A Socialite's Life]

Who cares if Mariah Carey’s hair is blond, red, orange or green? Guys just check out her ass. [Hollywoodtuna]

Superman Returns comes complete with a lame Emo soundtrack. [Egotastic!]

Jennifer Walcott is a Playmate! How the hell isn’t she on any top 10 lists? [The Bastardly]

It’s amazing what you can do with two needles and some wool. [CubeMe]