Johnny Depp has turned Captain Jack Sparrow into a bit of a swishbuckler in “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest.” The talented and handsome actor says he was intrigued by a scholarly work titled “Sodomy and the Pirate Tradition.”

“I liked the idea of [Jack] being ambiguous,” he tells Mark Binelli in the new summer double issue of Rolling Stone. “Because women were thought to be bad luck on ships. And these pirates would go out for years at a time. So, you know, there is a possibility that one thing might lead to another. You’re lonely. You have an extra ration of rum. ‘Cabin boy!’”

So that’s what a pirate does when there’s no booty around. Poor cabin boy.

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I had a very interesting conversation with my son this morning.

My son: Daddy, why do girls apply make-up and perfume themselves?
Me: Because they’re ugly and they stink.
My son: So make-up and perfume are supposed to make them attractive.
Me: Yeah.
My son: Then why is Britney Spears so ugly, even with make-up on.
Me: I don’t know. Shut up and finish your breakfast.

More pics after the jump.

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Woody Allen admits he finds it nearly impossible to concentrate when he’s around Scarlett Johansson because the 21-year-old actress is “sexually overwhelming.” He says:

“It’s very hard to be extra witty around a sexually overwhelming, beautiful young woman who is wittier than you are. Anytime I say anything amusing, Scarlett tops me.”

I’m sure Scarlett’s wit has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Woody can’t concentrate when he’s around her. He’s just impressed because her pair of boobies is bigger than his pair of glasses.

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Rosario Dawson is the co-creator of a comic book miniseries. [Popoholic]

Watch Samuel L. Jackson in an exclusive first look at “Snakes on a Plane.” [Yahoo!]

Jessica Alba does Entertainment Weekly and makes me happy. [The Bastardly]

Nicole Kidman wasn’t married to Tom Cruise. She was kidnapped by him. [TMZ]

Finally a bearskin rug that will make PETA happy! [CubeMe]

Here are a couple pictures from Jessica Simpson’s video for her new single “Public Affair,” starring Eva Longoria, Christina Applegate, Christina Milian and Maria Menounos. I guess I’ll enjoy watching this video again and again. After pushing the mute button on my remote, of course. Watch a preview on TMZ.

One more pic after the jump.

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“Harry Potter” author J.K. Rowling revealed that two characters will die in the seventh and last book of the popular franchise, and one of them could be Harry Potter himself.

“One character got a reprieve. But I have to say two die that I didn’t intend to die,” she said. “A price has to be paid. We are dealing with pure evil here. They don’t target extras do they? They go for the main characters. Well, I do.” While she wouldn’t reveal if one of the two characters is Harry himself, Rowling added that she has never been tempted to kill him off before the final book because she had always planned seven. “I can completely understand, however, the mentality of an author who thinks, ‘Well, I’m gonna kill them off because that means there can be no non-author written sequels. So it will end with me, and after I’m dead and gone they won’t be able to bring back the character’.” Giving an update on the book’s status, Rowling said, “The last book is not finished. But I’m well into it now. I wrote the final chapter in something like 1990, so I’ve known exactly how the series is going to end.”

Don’t worry, if it means more dollars for them, Hollywood producers will find a way to resurrect Harry for the big screen. Because they’re wizards, too. In related news, Donald Duck died in a car crash yesterday.

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Petra Nemcova is going to ruin James Blunt’s career because his success is based on depressive music. And I’m sure he will never be able to write another depressive song after having sex with Petra. What? Yeah, I’m jealous and depressed. I’m going to pick up my guitar and write one or two sad songs. Maybe I’ll get all the chicks, too.

More pics after the jump.

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It seems that Jennifer Aniston is very comfortable stripping off, especially in front of Vince Vaughn’s parents. The actor’s parents showed up while she was filming nude scenes for her new movie “The Break-Up.” Jen said:

“His mom and dad were there for luck. But I didn’t feel intimidated. They made me feel welcome.”

It’s a good thing for Vince that his parents met Jennifer as she was walking around naked because her sexy butt distracted them from her man’s face. I mean, his parents wouldn’t be very happy if they learned that their son was dating a transsexual. Anyway, meeting the parents naked could be an interesting new trend. It would be the proof that you have nothing to hide, except your hemorrhoids.

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April Scott is the new and improved Daisy Dukes. [A Socialite's Life]

Ana Beatriz Barros wears an awesome bikini. [The Bastardly]

Nicole Kidman got married. Not that I really care. [Egotastic!]

Potty-training made fun. Really fun. [omg blog]

See exclusive pics of “The Pirates of the Caribbean 2″ Premiere. [BritboyLA]

Pamela: No, these guys aren’t holding me because I’m tired. They are holding me because my boobs are so big I can barely walk.

More pics after the jump.

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Kanye West, who recently played a private concert at Cipriani Wall Street, left something sticky behind at a recent photoshoot.

The platinum-selling artist posed at a downtown loft for a “major music magazine,” our source said, and “was pretty nice, considering how he usually is.” But when West was done, he left behind a present for the photographer and stylist: “There was a huge box full of porn. It was all white girls with black guys.”

Another source added that the mags had clearly been well consumed. Well, Kanye is definitely what I call a passionate reader.

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Now I understand why the sequel to “Pirates of the Caribbean” is called “Dead Man’s Chest.”

One more pic after the jump.

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