Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong have been living together in shirtless harmony lately, and the new best friends live their platonic romance at full throttle even at night. Matthew was spotted in Miami Wednesday night, and it looks like he got a little unwanted attention from a brunette who followed him out of the Forge restaurant, where designer Nicole Miller had been holding a runway show. Onlookers say that McConaughey, who was wearing flip-flops and looking very much like he was ready to call it a night, wasn’t pleased when the young lady followed him into a waiting car. “The brunette got into the car for about 30 seconds and then was propelled right out,” a source tells NY Daily News. “She was miffed.” Moments later, Lance Armstrong and a blonde gal pal joined Matthew in the car which hightailed in the night.

Either Matthew is a three pump chump, or the brunette was not stimulating enough for him. Learn what really happened in the car in the next episode of “Matthew & Lance in Hornywood.”

Nadine Coyle of Girls Aloud should screw music and do Playboy. [The Bastardly]

Paris Hilton learns to read for the MTV Video Music Awards. [You Tube]

Matthew McConaughey is everywhere these days. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Brody Jenner is dating a sack of bones. [A Socialite's Life]

Britney Spears is worth less than one dollar. [Spank Cheeks]

Today is a slow news day so I thought I could post some recent pictures of Marisa Miller bouncing her way up and down the runway in sexy Inca swimwear. Because boobies rule the world.

More pics after the jump.

(more…)

SpoofCard.com, a provider of enhanced calling card services, announced today that it had terminated the accounts of more than 50 customers - including Paris Hilton - who used the SpoofCard service to obtain unauthorized access to voicemail accounts on a national mobile telephone network. Many of the terminated customers and the victims whose mailboxes were accessed are well known celebrities. In a press release, SpoofCard says:

SpoofCard.com confirmed that Paris Hilton was among the terminated customers, and that Lindsay Lohan was among those whose voicemail accounts were broken into. SpoofCard has put software controls on its network so that customers can no longer use its service to break into the voicemail boxes of Miss Lohan or the other victims it has identified.

I’m sick of those childish fights. Someone should build a robot that could take care of these attention whores. Not a friendly robot like Sony’s stupid dog AIBO, but a killing machine that would “terminate” them. Forever.

Victoria Silvstedt must be tired of walking around in a bikini because she launched her own lingerie line. Now she’ll walk around in sexy lingerie for a change. Some of you may wonder if she’s not cold in winter. But she’s too busy dipping her ass in the Caribbean water to even be aware that winter exists.

More pics after the jump.

(more…)

Kevin Federline might be not be as dumb as he looks. Mr. Spears says that we should stop underestimating him because he’s a misunderstood genius who aced his high school diploma. He tells GQ magazine:

“I actually got amazing-ass test scores on it. Not that it’s the hardest thing in the world. But especially the math. I got pretty high test scores for the state of California.”

Then he goes on to claim that he made $2 million from the Spears-Federline reality show “Chaotic,” but now he’s almost broke. K-Fed is obviously a genius at subtracting money from Britney Spears’s bank account.

Mischa Barton was on fashion crack at the Teen Choice Awards. [The Bastardly]

Brittany Murphy enjoys every SINGLE day. [Defamer]

Kevin Federline is really a weasel. [Cityrag]

Paramount cuts Tom Cruise’s purse strings. [Spank Cheeks]

It’s amazing what you can do with some LEGOs and a big brain. [CubeMe]

It’s good to know that Paris Hilton is not famous for nothing anymore. She’s famous because she’s a pop singer. I know this sounds funny, but it’s not as funny as saying that Ashlee Simpson is an artist. Anyway, here are some pics of the Paris Hilton CD release party. You might wonder why there are no pictures of Paris. That’s because I wanted to introduce you to another girl who’s famous for a reason. So here’s Joanna Krupa, a girl who is famous for being hot.

More pics after the jump.

(more…)

Pranksters released two live rattlesnakes in an Arizona theatre during the premiere of the new box office juggernaut “Snakes on a Plane,” causing widespread panic amongst the audience. Fortunately, no one was injured and the two young venomous Diamondback rattlers were released in the desert. The practical jokers have not been caught as I write this.

It must suck to find snakes in your popcorn. Too bad Samuel L. Jackson didn’t attend the screening. If art really imitates life, he would have kicked the shit out of those snakes. Where are our heroes when we really need them?

Wilmer: Jessica, you have to have sex with me because you’re Hispanic like me. That’s the law.
Jessica: Oh, I don’t want to break the law.
Wilmer: Then let me introduce you to my Latin love rocket.

More pics after the jump.

(more…)

Lindsay Lohan recently blasted tabloids for speculating about her ample chest, after they “blew off the fact” that Ashlee Simpson had plastic surgery on her nose. The freckled star, who’s still insisting her breasts are completely natural, believes that the nose job Ashlee had in April was virtually ignored compared to the media attention her boobies attracted. She says:

“It’s like when they said I got my chest done and it wasn’t true. The tabloids kind of blew off the fact that Ashlee Simpson got a nose job. I’ve never done anything.”

Don’t worry Lindsay, I speculated about Ashlee’s new nose as often as I talked about your fake breasts. And stop saying you’ve never done anything or I’ll start a petition to add your picture next to the word “liar” in the English dictionary.

Shannon Elizabeth is reaching out of her coffin. [The Bastardly]

Matthew McConaughey looks like one of those touchy-feely guys. [A Socialite's Life]

Lindsay Lohan’s father should work at Marvel Comics. [Best Week Ever]

Take cover, Hulk Hogan is about to explode! [TMZ]

Robbie Williams might be gay. I mean, just look at him. [Cityrag]