Quickies: No Contest

Alec Baldwin likes it bareback. I just threw up in my mouth a little. (TMZ)
It’s Ladies Day over at The Bastardly, so vote now for the top five ugliest female celebrities in Hollywood. (The Bastardly)
Jessica Alba just says “no” to nudity. If it’s any consolation, I say “Hell, yeah!” (Popoholic)
Jennifer Aniston tells Oprah that she and Vince Vaughn are still together. I guess she’s cool with him making out with transexual prostitutes then. (Popsugar)
Ashlee Simpson turns 22. Well, the non-plastic parts of her do. (MollyGood)
Paris Hilton and Travis Barker break up. Who gets custody of the genital cuff? (IDLYITW)
Who’s that fetching brunette in the black pumps and the sun hat? Why, it’s Michael Jackson. (Celebitchy)
Tom Cruise butt plugs? Where do I sign up? (Spank Cheeks)

5 Comments, Comment or Ping
Walrus Gumboot
I give Jessica Alba 5 more years and she’ll be posing IN Playboy, not just on a bogus cover.
That cool million that Hef usually offers BIG stars will have dwindled down to $5000 AND she’ll have to blow Hef. (He’ll be 85 by then, so his manhood will be extra wrinkly and really flaccid) So Ms Alba should do nude scenes and make every able bodied male (especially TrannyGranny) giddy with delight.
Abby, “the non-plastic parts” on Ashleeeeeeeee Simpleton is pure comic genius.
P.S. It looks like this post made it through!!!
Oct 12th, 2006
sonya
Bleeehhhhh. Thinking about Alec Baldwin and his “Pete’s Schweaty Balls” gives me a severe case of the heebies.
Oct 12th, 2006
abby
Walrus and Sonya:
Eeexceeeleeent useee of theee tripleee “e” in the aboveee commeeents. It’s likeee pig latin, only it’s not reeeally a seeecreeet and theeereee’s no codeee. So maybeee it’s not likeee pig latin at all. But it’s still supeeer cool. I know beeecauseee I’m the fucking cooleeest thing on theee markeeet.
Oct 12th, 2006
Guy-Pierre
Ooooh! I just love Aleks’ schweaty balls all over my face and in my mouth.
I’m talking about my lover Aleksandr Q. Dukakis, not that handsome hunk of a Baldwin. Although I’ll bet his balls, be they schweaty or not, taste deee-licious.
See Abby, a gay can “eee” too. Teee-Heee!!
Oct 12th, 2006
sonya
Alec’s balls taste like cheese, that’s what.
http://www.milkandcookies.com/article/3182/
Oct 12th, 2006
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