Six Simple Rules for Dating a Coked-Up Supermodel
Kate Moss has created a list of six rules — cleverly dubbed “Kate’s Commandments” — to which fiance Pete Doherty must adhere if he really wants that winter wedding. The Post-Chronicle reports:
[Kate]… insists the junkie rocker must stop taking drugs, end contact with his ‘loser’ friends and call her at least thee times a day. Pete, 27, must also stop flirting with his groupies… start eating properly and spend two hours every day writing poetry and music.
It’s pretty obvious that Kate didn’t put a whole lot of time into that list. She forgot several key action items that need addressing before Pete can really be considered “marriage material.” This is how the list should have read:
Six Simple Rules for Dating a Coked-Up Supermodel
6. Brush your teeth at least twice a day. Seriously, Pete. The teeth. You’re killin’ me here.
5. Quit squirting people with your blood. It’s gross. Nobody likes it.
4. Brush your teeth. For the love of God.
3. Quit sticking syringes into the arms of passed-out groupies. It just looks bad.
2. Stop with the crappy music. That’s actually a request from the listening public at large, not just me.
1. Brush your goddamn teeth already.
9 Comments, Comment or Ping
Walrus Gumboot
Old Katie sounds like every other nagging wife in the world… and they aren’t married yet.
That’s right ladies, send your complaints to Cock-Ninja c/o Italian Stallion
Oct 17th, 2006
Italian Stallion
So your saying he has bad teath or bad breath? Who am I kidding he’s nasty either way………
Ladies:
Do not, I repeat do not send any complaints to me. If you must send anything, send sexy pictures of yourself…………
Oct 17th, 2006
Italian Stallion
P.S. Pete, brush your teeth……….
Oct 17th, 2006
Audrey
Are they like in high school or something? This (meaning the original list) sounds like something a couple of 14 year olds would do. The fact that Kate Moss wants to share things like body fluids, a house, children, a life with this freak of nature is beyond my comprehension. Maybe they will od together and slip into oblivion.
Oct 17th, 2006
sonya
What a stupid idiot she is. She actually thinks he’ll change for good? Maybe long enough for her to marry him, then he’ll go back to his drug-addled state, and she’ll be pissed off at him for acting like himself. It amazes me the women that marry men who behave a certain way, then torment them for behaving like themselves.
Oct 17th, 2006
ApacheRose
I agree with Audrey and Sonya.
Wally & Stallion–I only nag and complain if I’m not getting enough sex. Deal.
Oct 17th, 2006
abby
I nag and complain because I’m a giant bitch.
Oct 17th, 2006
abby
With a killer ass.
Oct 17th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Abby, I’m going waaaay out on a limb here, but by some chance, you could mean you a “killer bitch” with a “giant ass”?
Hey, you started it, I’m just trying to get a mental picture!
Oct 17th, 2006
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