Paul McCartney Beats Up Cripples
Sir Paul McCartney has been accused of assaulting estranged uniped wife Heather Mills. In divorce papers obtained by The Sun yesterday,
[Heather] alleges [Paul] attacked her repeatedly, took drugs, stopped her breastfeeding their baby, saying they were “his breasts” and forced her to cancel an operation because it clashed with his holiday plans.
She says that… in November 2002 he “grabbed her by the neck and pushed her over a coffee table”.
In May 2003 — while she was four weeks pregnant with their daughter Beatrice — she claims he shoved her into a bath, leaving her shocked and distressed.
In August 2005 he choked her after she asked him if he had been smoking cannabis.
In April 2006, just before they announced their split, he flew into a rage and tipped red wine over her… then reached to grab Heather’s wine glass, snapping off the stem. The papers continue: “He lunged at the respondent with the broken sharp stem of the wine glass, which cut and pierced the respondent’s arm just below the elbow, and it began to bleed profusely.”
Who wins in a cage match between an old guy and a lady cripple? It seems like a pretty fair fight. Like a monkey versus a kangaroo, or maybe a midget versus a dwarf. Now, if Heather had both legs, or if Paul were twenty years younger, it’d be a different. I’d probably put my money on Paul. But there’s no sense in talking in hypotheticals, because what we’ve got here is the elderly pitted against the handicapped. And I don’t think anyone would pay to see that fight at all.
17 Comments, Comment or Ping
Walrus Gumboot
All this time I thought Paul was the “cute” Beatle.
Oct 18th, 2006
easy e
LOL! I actually did pay to see a kangaroo fight a cripple, and it was the best 50 bucks I ever spent.
Oct 18th, 2006
abby
My husband once told me that at cetain European ports you can actually find a sailor drunk enough to fight a chimpanzee for money. True fuckin’ story. Yay U.S. Navy!!!!
Oct 18th, 2006
Italian Stallion
I laughed really hard at all the stuff that he did, and now I feel bad. Who am I kidding? “In August 2005 he choked her after she asked him if he had been smoking cannabis.” There are just some questions you don’t fucking ask………hehehehehehehehehe
Oct 18th, 2006
Audrey
She is doing a remarkable job in ruining Paul’s ‘golden Beatle’ image isn’t she? Were these allegations made because no one believed that she was about to become assinated like John Lennon, or attacked like George Harrison? She may get her wish if she keeps it up. Crazy bitch.
Oct 18th, 2006
Dancer
I don’t believe this at all! I think Heather is going after money and she is trying to maneuver him into a spot where he’ll settle. Too bad she isn’t thinking of her daughter while she is making up stories about Paul.
Oct 18th, 2006
mf
My husband once told me that at cetain European ports you can actually find a sailor drunk enough to fight a chimpanzee for money. True fuckin’ story. Yay U.S. Navy!!!! >>>>
that’s true in most ivy league campuses too. seriously. you can always find a monkey at harvard. willing to fight a drunk undergrad.
what do you think bush and kerry and the like used to do before they ran america?
Oct 18th, 2006
mf
p.s. i used to represent rockstars. their pr seems to work on the masses who prefer to see them as untouchable gods rather than the self-absorbed, flawed folks they really are.
it’s much easier to paint heather as a scheming gold-digger to the public than to get them to believe their perfect, godlike rockstar is a selfish, abusive bastard who thinks the world revolves around him. so why make it tough on yourself?
Oct 18th, 2006
sonya
All you need is love.
And drugs, breasts, a good shove over the coffee table, into the tub, red wine and a broken wine glass.
That’s all you need.
Oct 18th, 2006
abby
Did y’all like the use of the word “uniped”?
Oct 18th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Abby, before I finished reading the post, I used “my” online dictionary to see if it was a “real” word or another Abby-ism like “Anorlesbic”
It’s real!
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/uniped
Oct 18th, 2006
ApacheRose
You’re a true wordsmith, Abby!
Anybody else’s screen fucking flashing at them? Some goddamn ad on meth…. damned annoying.
Oct 18th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Apache, I hate that screen flashing bullshit.
I think Abby’s bosses advertiser are “really” taking over.
It’s a small price to pay to be able to post on an Abby run site.
(Yes Abby, my nose is brown.)
Oct 18th, 2006
Italian Stallion
Yoy guy’s see that flashing too? I feel so much fucking better now, I thought I was having flashbacks again……….
P.S. I was to afraid to ask you guy’s, thanks for clearing that up…………….
Oct 18th, 2006
ApacheRose
Maybe we’re experiencing group hallucinations… not as much fun as group sex, but what are ya gonna do?
Oct 18th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Just sit back and enjoy the colors man!!!
Oct 18th, 2006
Mabel Blutscheiss
“OBJECTED to amputee Ms Mills using a bedpan to save her crawling to the toilet at night.”
Yes, yes, I remember it quite well! I was secretly married to Sir Paul many, many years ago! A lovely time we had until the doctors re-attached my legs! You see, I was likewise an amputee! We frequently played “hide the bedpan from Mabel” (that’s my name, Mabel) because he absolutely adored watching me crawling around, sweaty and sans appendages, looking for it! He also regularly pulled gold coins from behind my ears! And then he would eat them!
Oct 18th, 2006
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