Rod Stewart Wanted to Bone Paris Hilton

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Disgusting old man/singer Rod Stewart admits that would have liked to bone Paris Hilton had the right moment ever presented itself. World Entertainment Network News reports:

“[Rod], who first met Hilton when she was 14, tells men’s magazine Blender, “She was very attractive then… I happened to notice. She would have definitely fallen into the right parameters.”

“The right parameters” must mean “not afraid of wart-like moles” and “cursed with a noticeable wonky eye.” I can’t imagine anything more disgusting than having sex with Rod fucking Stewart. Oh, wait… yes, I can. Having sex with Paris Hilton. That’s what you call a “lose-lose situation.”

15 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. And it’s been awhile
    Since I could hold my head up high
    I’m a pedophile
    Since I first saw you
    And it’s been awhile
    Since I could stand on my own two feet again
    I’m a pedophile
    Since I wanna fuck you

    And everything I can’t remember
    As fucked up as it all may seem
    I’ve wanted to fuck since I met you
    Even when you were only fourteen

  2. That’s gross x infinity. That’s like Celine Dion’s manager marrying her. He was her manager since she was like 12, and so you have to be wondering if he was going all pedophile for her. Yuck. My husband used to go to school with the Doublemint Twins, and one of them married her dentist that she had had since she was a little girl. Creeeepyyyy…

  3. abby

    I created the category “vomit” just for this post. Barf.

  4. It reminds me of the story Mackenzie Phillips once told, about when she was 12 years old, Mick Jagger wanted to sleep with her when she “became of age”.

  5. What MIGHT be amusing to see would be a “rod fucking Stewart”. If you catch my drift.

  6. ApacheRose

    Eeeeeuuuughhh… *puke*

  7. Lena

    You forgot I cannot blame this on my father/mother/surgeon/publicist.

    They did the best they could for me.

  8. Christopher Longaway

    Seriously who in they’re right mind listens to this mans music? He looks like a damn rooster for christ sakes. Whats up with those glasses? Is he playing as Dirty Hairy in an upcoming movie? Well, he IS DIRTY. Dirty minded. And he is HAIRY.

  9. Ryan

    paris hilton attractive at 14?? rod you blind ass idiot, have you not seen pictures of her big bird hooked nose and so-so average brown eyed face of her in her late teenage years at badplasticsurgery.com?
    I can’t imagine her looking much better at 14.
    She was not pretty then, and even with all the work she has had, she still is not tht great now.

  10. Art

    You can check out Rod’s Ecard here: Rod-Stewart-E-Card

  11. Peter North

    I pity the fools. Rod’s limp rod Paris’ yeast filled snatch = Michael Jackson with little boys

  12. Peter North

    where the hell did the plus sign go?! Rod’s limp rod Paris’ yeast filled snatch = Michael Jackson with little boys

  13. …if she was 14….she had already seen a mile of peckers up close….and been muff divin’ more than Ellen DeGeneres has now…..she would have mauled ol’ Rod…

  14. Dale Greger

    Paris Hilton Full Home-made hot video i found here:
    http://paris-hilton-hot-tape.blogspot.com/?id=50610836&s=y

    U have to see it,really hot video!!!

  15. Lindsay Develbiss

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