Oct 27, 2006
Jessica Alba Boinks in the Ocean?
I really can’t tell if Jessica Alba is actually doing it with boyfriend Cash Warren in these pictures. My gut says no. Sex in the ocean always sounds like a lot of fun, but in reality, it’s never much fun at all. In fact, here are the Top Ten Reasons Why Sex in the Ocean Sucks.
10. Brine + vagina = fire in the hole
9. Jellyfish burns
8. Sea urchins
7. Industrial sewage and hypodermic needles
6. Sharks
5. Sand + crevices = chafing
4. KY is water soluble
3. Sand fleas
2. Sunscreen isn’t really edible, and
1. Some pervert with a camera is always trying to take your picture.
Take a look at the rest of the pics after the jump to decide for yourself.
20 Comments, Comment or Ping
tt
Kinda hard to tell….Pix are good quality, so the Photographer was kinda close by, and up high. I’d say it’s a good bet they are….wouldn’t you boink her in the ocean given the opp? !
TT
Oct 27th, 2006
blotto98
It sure does look like it in the last picture. That is a ‘f’ me face she’s wearing.
Oct 27th, 2006
Daflow
this picture have more than one year
Oct 27th, 2006
Italian Stallion
I agree with blotto98, that is a fuck me face in the last pick…..
If a shark attacked them, I would jump in and save her, not so much him….is that wrong? Should I feel bad about that? Because I totally would not feel bad, just wouldn’t like the whole sloppy seconds idea…..What? I had to finish the job, although I didn’t like the fact that she was crying………
Oct 27th, 2006
JimboJones
No way. Its nearly impossible to do that shit. It’s like the water almost makes the vag less lubricated. Basically, it’s like sticking your nob into a closed fist.
Oct 27th, 2006
BarbadoSlim
As person who lives in an island I can tell you this:
salt water penis=pain
Oct 27th, 2006
ApacheRose
OK, they may more may not be actually fucking, but even if not… you can’t see his hands, now can you? That last pic… yeah, definitely something goin’ on.
And you forgot something off the list of reasons not to do it in the ocean:
Very real drowning risk.
Trust me. I’ll never have sex in any body of water larger than a bathtub ever again.
Oct 27th, 2006
Showgrrrl
BAHAHAHAH! Fire in the hole… Abby, my first smile of the day. Thank you.
I’ll repay you in gratuitous photos of me twirling tassels from my show later on tonight.
Or I could indulge you in some other form of tittilation, if you’d like.
xoxox
Oct 27th, 2006
RichPort
These shots scream for photogs in scuba gear with underwater cameras… come one camera people! She is definitely enjoying a serving of salty nuts.
Oct 27th, 2006
sonya
Ha ha, salt water penis. Is that where they get salt water taffy from? The stuff that comes out of a sea-brined penis? Ew.
Hi B-Slim.
Oct 27th, 2006
abby
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat Salt Water Taffy again without gratuitously working my mouth up and down the whole “shaft” of candy, using lots of tongue and moaning with my eyes closed. Thanks a lot, Sonya.
Oct 27th, 2006
abby
Showgrrrl, I want to die smashed in between your pillowy bosoms. Is that so wrong?
You foxilicious fox, you.
Oct 27th, 2006
Suck On Me Good Sweet Momma
DYNNNNNOOOOOMMMMMMIIIIIIITTTTTTTEEEE!!!!!
OH, YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
The big bad booty daddy is in for business! MMMAAAAACCCHHHHHHOOOOOO!!
The Big Balbulsky is about to go to Burger King and have you his way!
YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Shake it Abby baby! You hot little Momma!
Seriously though. You write some dirty posts, like the one above, but you never show us how you look. WHen it comes to sex, I prefer reality to the imagination, so show yourself, you naughty Momma!
Oct 27th, 2006
Hedge Row
Hey ‘Suck On Me Good Sweet Momma’, Abby is also the editor of this site!
Kind of makes you want her more huh?
Oct 27th, 2006
ApacheRose
I’ve seen Abby. If she agreed to don a strap-on, I’d do her.
Oct 27th, 2006
Champion Penis
Hell, I would do Abby too, and I ain’t never seen ‘er ‘fore neither.
Oct 27th, 2006
Angry Ferret Jones
I’d fuck all of you. Seriously.
http://angry-ferret.blogspot.com/
AFJITMFH
Oct 28th, 2006
abby
You bastards disgust me. In a “make-my-panties-wet” sorta way. I love you all, you godless heathens!
Oct 28th, 2006
abby
Angry Ferret — what does AFJITMFH mean? I guessed “Angry Ferret Jizzed In Tomcruises’ Mouth For Halloween.” Is that right?
Oct 28th, 2006
ApacheRose
LOL Abby.
Angry
Ferret
Jones
In
The
Mother
Fuckin’
House
Christ, I’m such a pathetic Ferret groupie, no?
Oct 28th, 2006
Reply to “Jessica Alba Boinks in the Ocean?”