Quickies: The Marleys
It’s every man for himself Thursday nights at 10 on MTV’s “The Duel!” Catch a clip of some of the best T & A the show has to offer. (YouTube)
Jennifer Aniston gets the dankalcious honor of the High Times Stony Award. (I’m Not Obsessed)
A woman is claiming that she actually had sex with Michael “Sun-Hat-and-Ladies-Pumps” Jackson. (Glitterati)
It’s one small step for Christina Milian, one giant boner for mankind. (Young, Black and Fabulous)
Vote for your fave celebrity moments from 2006 and see the results December 3rd on VH1’s “Big in ‘06″ Awards! (VH1)
Have a sitdown with the Ghost of Gossip Past. (CityRag)
Avril Lavigne is a drunken panty-flasher. I would be too, if I ever wore panties. (Hollywood Tuna)
Dominique Swain has a “non-pornographic nip slip.” Try to wrap your weiner around that. (Fatback and Collards)
47 Comments, Comment or Ping
sonya
I never got the appeal of Darryl Hannah. I think she falls into the catagory of Uma. They’re both like 7 feet tall, blonde, and have narrow, long faces.
They would look splendid pulling the Budweiser stagecoach.
Oct 27th, 2006
bionic bunny
before they closed “dive” (the spielburg restaurant) in santa monica, darryl hannah sat at the table next to ours.
nobody noticed.
Oct 27th, 2006
abby
Did y’all get “The Marleys” reference? You know, Bob Marley for the stoner award, and Jacob Marley for the Ghost of Gossip Past? I hope I didn’t just blow your fucking minds.
Oct 27th, 2006
UneedTo E.T. MoreCocks
Would you rather…
Smell raging feces constantly…or
not smell anything at all?
Oct 27th, 2006
sonya
Abby, I’m wiping up the remains of my brains off my computer screen. Thanks a lot, bitch.
@Uneed..WTF?
Oct 27th, 2006
Ahmed SchwarzeNegro
Ahmed will not only wrap his weiner around Dominique Swain’s nipples, but around her neck as well, and strangle the very life from her, then CUM at the same time.
Oct 27th, 2006
ApacheRose
Um, guys? Is it just me, or have we been picking up a few hitchhikers from the local insane asylum lately? WTH? It’s not a full moon, is it? What’s with the effing crazy talk…
Oct 27th, 2006
sonya
That’s what I’m screamin’, apache. I was going to suggest that they are all the same person.
Oct 27th, 2006
bionic bunny
NO!!
no one would EVER fool with their handles, not HERE!!!!!!
so, uh, is the bionic thing not workin for the rest of ya? hmm? dunno sonja, maybe it only works if they know the background.
but be assured, i’m still evil at heart!
bun-de-bun-buns!
Oct 27th, 2006
Bill Gates
Insolent fools. I have the power to unattach the Handler, as my company makes computer software.My minions have come to destroy what is left of decency and civility. hahahahahahahahahahahaa! ( notice how I wrote lower case letters.that is because I am so tiny, I can’t really yell that loud. )
Oct 27th, 2006
Irish Folk Talesman
Aye there Lassy, ( ApacheRose ) ye be traveling on the right foot. If ye are to uncover this mystery, a bit of my Folklore ye will need to be hearin’. There was a person here several months yonder…who wanted to express ‘is ‘pinion about subjects. The rest of your party shunned him. SO ‘is revenge ‘ill be taking now. Tis this person amember ofyour own clan? Methinks so. Tis the person on this very thrad to be precise. Tis a person who just made a remark to Ahmed…
Oct 28th, 2006
FYI
Hello everybody! I just wanted you all to know that all those grammatical errors were put in Irish Folk Talesman’s post on purpose. Purpose? He is Irish!
Oct 28th, 2006
Irish Folk Talesman
Tharnk Ye Fer that, FYI…
Aahhrrr!!! A curse does befall me! The moment Me stops the posting, it is me bottom Buttcheecks that begin roasting!!!
AAAAaaaaaHhhHHhhhhhRrRrrRRRrr!!!!
Oct 28th, 2006
ApacheRose
Supposed to be Irish, yet it’s coming off very pirate-ish. I feel pretty sure there’s an eyepatch and pirate-on-the-shoulder involved.
Oct 28th, 2006
ApacheRose
D’oh! Should be “parrot-on-the-shoulder.” Whoops…
Oct 28th, 2006
Christopher Longaway
I have a confession to make…Those posts were my doing. I just wanted to get your attention ApacheRose. I have read alot about you on your blog and all…and I think I like you. I just didn’t want to say it in front of everybody, and I did not want to send you an E-mail and freak you out…I am way different than all of you on this site. Of course, I am a computer programer, so I know how to disable the Handler. You are alot more mature than any person on this site…and I have been reading your posts for a while, about a month to be precise…but I just don’t fit in this group…But I want to talk to you though…
I know this is not the best time to ask, but since you live in Dallas Texas, are you Native American? I only ask because my grandmother was half jewish and half chactow indian…We could start a casino! ( just a joke, but maybe… ) Plus…I am of African American descent so, I know you probably don’t want anything with me, so…I am just writing this to get it off my chest, you know? I mean, I haven’t seen you, but I can just tell your beautiful by the way you express yourself. Plus, you seem kind.
I just made myself look like a real fool. Your 32, I am only 20…but I had to say it. I like you ApacheRose.
Oct 28th, 2006
Angry Ferret Jones
Holy Fucking Stalkers! Apache, RUN! Run like the wind!
Oct 28th, 2006
Angry Ferret Jones
http://angry-ferret.blogspot.com/
Oct 28th, 2006
abby
I like you too, Apache Rose. But not in a deranged-mult-handled-stalker-weirdo kinda way. Just your ordinary lonely-housewife-stalker kinda way. Don’t be afraid, baby! Look out your window. I’m right there, in the trees behind… no, not that tree, the little shrub by the neighbor’s… ooohh, yes! You see me. And no, I’m not wearing any pants.
Oct 28th, 2006
ApacheRose
*sniff*
Damn, smells like ninja in here….
In the unlikely event that I’m wrong, let me say this, Chris: Since you have clearly been reading my blog (though not for a month, since I only started that a few days ago) you know that I’m very happily, toe-curlingly, screaming-the-walls-down involved with someone who’s expressed major interest in sticking around for a long damn time.
No, I don’t care about your race or religion; I happen to be a white Pagan chick. Big deal. What I do care about, however, is that you can’t seem to make up your mind about what you are, exactly. Last week you were a “photographer.” Now you’re a computer programmer. And either you’re married (I don’t DO married guys, no matter what my own relationship status is) or you lied about that.
See, the schizophrenia gives it all away.
[Abby, come on in... did you bring the flavored lube and batteries?]
Oct 28th, 2006
Christopher Longaway
I want to fuck you too Abby, you dirty Talking editorial Hot Momma you. Women like you are so hot, and tasty down there…
Oct 28th, 2006
Christopher Longaway
ApacheRose, let me clear up a few misconceptions. First, I am married, but only in the country of Israel,not here in the states. And yes, I do take photos of celebrities, but I am a paparazzi, not a photographer. I just do that on the side while I am in school learning to program computers, which I am adept in.
I think you misunderstood my proposal.I don’t want to date you, I just wanted to pay you some cash and get inside of you is all. ( sorry to put it so bluntly. )
As for you saying I have only been around here a month, well check the archives postings of Ashlee Simpson. Those were my first posts. We just started talking a week or so ago.
Smell slike Ninja?
Are you accusing me of being that Antisemite AntiHuman-being Bastard?
And yes I am a schitzo. Its cool, one day I am fighting with a woman, the next day I am in her ass. It rocks.
I still think your cool though. I dig white pagan chicks. I would like for you to come to my website sometime. ( its almost finished, I havent found time to work on it. )
P.S. What I meant to say is, I have been reading your posts for a month, along with everyone else, so I could get oriented before I joined in the conversations.
Oct 28th, 2006
sonya
Bunny, I on;y spell my name with a “J” when I dress up as Red Sonja the barbarian wench. Cut it out, or I’ll hip-check you.
Ha ha, ” I am married, but only in the country of Israel,not here in the states.” Thaaat’s a good one.
Oct 28th, 2006
BarbadoSlim
Is beginning to look a lot like wacko!!!
Oct 28th, 2006
ApacheRose
Wow, he thinks I’m a pretty, kind-hearted whore. I’m so touched.
Or not.
I don’t care if you’re married to a sacred squid in a galaxy far, far away–it still counts. Not to mention the whole thinking I’d fuck-for-money thing.
Look, you cute little psycho, come play, but use the anonymous internet to downplay your insanity, NOT feature it.
I still think I’m smelling something hopeless_ninja-ish…
One last thing: has it occurred to you, since you think I’m so much more “mature” than others, that I could be a 70-year-old black guy living in Greenland?
Oct 28th, 2006
Christopher Longaway Or Cock-Ninja? or Jesus?
HAhahahahahahahahahahaa! IS Christopher Longaway Cock-Ninja? Or is he a fellow poster?! One of you? Gone bad!!! Will you ever know??!!! Or is he…Jesus? Only Cock-Ninja knows for sure.
….Apache…I didn’t mean you were a whore…I just…oh, forget it…
Oh and one last thing…please do not make fun of me being insane…Sometimes it really makes me tick…and..I…Lose…CONTROL.
Oct 28th, 2006
Douchebag
What you won’t douche…Douche for love…You’ve tried everything but you won’t douche up your butt…
If you are a 70 year old black man living in Greenland, how can you let people like Anastasia BeaverHauser talk about Mr. Johnson like that? What are you another uncle Tom? A Benedict Arnold turncoat? Your not black. You might be a man though, in which case…I ….???? STOP FUCKING WITH ME!!!! I AM CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t believe you have the nerve to judge ME! What about you! Your a “Misfit”! At least I am doing something with my life! At least I have a fully functional mind! Where the hell do you get off scorning me? Your not my mother! I never said anything derogatory about you, AND YOU RIDICULE ME????!!!! FUCK YOU! AND GOOD BYE!!! I will never post on this site again…
P.S. am I Cock-Ninja? Hehehehehehehehehehehehh……No.
Oct 28th, 2006
One last thing
You know, when I was in school, we didn’t call disturbed people “misfits”, no. We called them mentally challenged, and had a special class for people like you ApacheRose. You got out off school one period early, so that the rest of us didn’t have to look at your sorry asses. You guys even went home in a special “Bus” as I recall.With a special driver, that could tolerate your bullshit.
At least I am not missing half a brain, you judgemental Retard.
So I have had an affair? Big deal. In my religion, we can have as many wives as we want.
Racist Vermin: Yeah, I am jewish, and I have a good jewish attorney. Just like the one that censored Cock-Ninja’s Blog.Fuck you if you hate us. We control EVERYTHING. The stock market, the elections, medicare, HollyWood. HOLLYWOOD . Just about everyone in Hollywood is Jewish. Jessica Biel is Jewish,Neve Campbell is Jewish, Charleston Heston is Jewish, George Lucas, Demi Moore, John Wayne Is jewish, and so is Mel Gibson. Thats right even JOHN WAYNE AND MEL GIBSON.
I AM THE MESSIAH. I have brought the Masons and the Knights Templar, not to mention the Illuminati to an all time low ( with a litle help from the boys at NSA, JDL,and the CIA, couldn’t have done it without you ). WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO ME?
ApacheRose: Fuck you, you immature acting no good BIF ( Bad Influence on Fuckers )
Oct 28th, 2006
sonya
I do think it’s CN up to his old tricks. Remember Hannoush?
Oct 28th, 2006
Last Post
ApacheRose…I am sorry for the way I acted, and went off on you. I know you must really be a mature person to ignore me like that, and just walk away after what I said to you. You said some things too though…it wasn’t really what you wrote but how you wrote it. You were right…about everything. THATS WHAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF!!!
But I don’t want you thinking I am a complete ass for brains, so I am apologetic for what I said.
I really did not know you were in a serious relationship, I overlooked that part of your blog. No, really, I did. All I can say is your partner is a really lucky person. You have to understand…I am not a “misfit” I am not “Down playing” my psychosis. I am the real deal. I do things like go off on someone, and then be their best friend the next day. But that is not the case here, I just…know you were right…AND ITS EATING ME INSIDE!
I am emotionally unstable. I thought when you told me you guys were the “misfits” that maybe you all were really going to be unlike every other asshole I deal with everyday, but you’re group is not unique.You all stand for what I hate about this society..this life…which is why I cannot be apart of it. Criticising celebrities you all have never met, calling them names, and Its all a lie what you post about them! Celebrites are people too! I ust wanted them to know that someone supports them. All I ever wanted in the first place was to voice my opinion, I never wanted to talk to any of you. You all talked to me!
As for you accusing me of being Cock-Ninja, I can only say that I am not.
As for my marriage…I just don’t believe in it. A human being is no one elses property, and that is basically what happens, is you belong to the other person when you wear their ring.
I really did not mean to imply that you were a whore…that is just how the world runs. People only invest there emotions in something worth while; mainly money. I do not want a relationship, I cannot sustain one…and I really am fucked up. Its a wonder I gt married at all…but I was much more social the…Still, you have no right to judge me. THAT IS WHAT PISSES ME OFF THE MOST. You all talk like your kingshit, and then judge me? YOUR NOT PERFECT! AND I HAVE FEELINGS TOO! SHIT!
But maybe I should try to work things out with my girl…She was there for me, even when I almost died of substance abuse.
Abby…Farewell. You seemed to have been the only one that did not judge me. But I am sure you have your own opinion about me, and I am sure it is not a positive one. Nevertheless, I wish you success in all your future endeavors.
Oct 29th, 2006
BarbadoSlim
CuckoOOcuCkooCucKOOcuckooCuCkOO!##@^#($!!!!!!!BOING
Oct 29th, 2006
Patriarch
CuckOO? Boing?
What just happened? Did you pop a boner? Or shove a cock deep down your throat or something?
Oct 29th, 2006
Way down in the jungle deep
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down. In the jungle deep.
Oct 29th, 2006
When the Jungle is not deep enough
When the jungle is not deep, you find you self walking down old town street, you must think…go down to the creek.
Oct 29th, 2006
Patriot
I pledge allegiance to the flag…and its all a bunch of crap.
Oct 29th, 2006
BarbadoSlim
Dude, if that went over your head I can’t help ya.
so I’ll just go with…or something.
Oct 29th, 2006
ApacheRose
BarbadoSlim–I love you… but in that non-whory, already-involved-with-someone, platonic, you’re a cool motherfucker kinda way.
… or something.
Oct 29th, 2006
sonya
So…was that a farewell like the pouty kids in elementary school used to do?
“Humph! I’m leaving now. You’re a bunch of big meanies!”
“I’m not going to talk to you ever again!”
“You’ll be sorry when I leave, ‘cuz I won’t come back and play with you anymore!”
“Fine! I’m leaving!”
“I said, I’M LEAVING!”
“I’m leaving for reals now…”
etc., etc., ad infinitum…
Oct 29th, 2006
Stone Cold Steve Austin
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
Punk bitch what?
Ive been hearing your little group run their little millymouths long enough…and I just thought it would be good to end this where it all started: In Dallas Texas. I said, In Dallas Texas…home of the Cowboys…and other trash, like ApacheRose.
Well you go runnin’ your millymouth about how it smells like ninja in here; ARE YOU JUST PLAIN STUPID? This is the internet ass for brains, not the Matrix! The only smell that hits you, is the smell of your own ass and feces as you jack off on the living room table! There is no smell on the internet! Is your fried brain still working retard?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
Punk bitch what?
Are you sassin’ me? Are you sassin’ me retard? ( Stone cold drinks down a cold beer )
Lets get something straight Retard, Stone Cold calls the shots around here Nimrod! And if you don’t like it to bad, because thats the bottom line, ’cause Stone Cold says so! ( Stone Cold commences to kick ApacheRose in her female testacles, and gives her a Stone Cold Stunner.The crowd goes wild. He then gives her the one finger salute, the crowd cheers and Stone Cold throws her out to the audience, and They eat her alive. )
Oct 29th, 2006
Cock-Ninja
Chris is Cock-Ninja. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah! Maybe.
Oct 29th, 2006
The Rock
(Silence. the Rock takes off his shades and begins to speak into the microphone)
…FINALLY. THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO YEEEAH.COM…
Now lets get one thing straight, no lets get it crystal clear,so clear the Rock could tell you to kiss his ass, and you kiss the reflection of the crystal instead by mistake.( Because everyone wants to kiss the Rocks ass, especially ApacheRose )
Everybody knows the Rock is for the people…But not retarded people, hell the
Rock despises Retarded people, hell the Rock wipes his ass with the things Retarded people think. The Rock takes this here keyboard, and turns it sideways, and straight up your candy ass!
You have been bitching and moaning: ” Oh Im with somebody…cute little Psycho”
Wel the Rock says: IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOUR SEEING SOMEBODY INTERESTED IN YOU!
It doesn’t matter if your seeing the man next door, it doesn’t mater if your seeing Bobcat Goldthwait, or the monkey at the zoo!
CAN YOU SMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL…WHAT THE ROCK…………………………………………………IS COOKING?
Oct 29th, 2006
ApacheRose
Might be Ninja’s retarded alter-ego… normally, he has better grammar and spelling than that.
Oct 29th, 2006
Just some guy
Coming from somebody that says “Pirate on the shoulder”, that really hurts.
Oct 30th, 2006
Just some guy
Get your facts straight retard, your the one who accused ME of being Cock-Ninja, stupid, damn your stupid. “Pirate on the Shoulder”, give me a fucking break.
Oct 30th, 2006
Just some guy
Your such a retard ApacheRose, did you ever stop to think that maybe I put those little grammatical errors there to throw you off guard retard? So you would think I was actually 20, instead of 26? Trust me I nvr mke a mistake.
Oct 30th, 2006
stalliano
Christopher Longaway SUCKS.
Oct 30th, 2006
Italian Stallion
If you’re going to try and come on here and be me you pyscho, try putting the handle in right asshole…..It was all uppercase dickhead STALLIANO
Oct 30th, 2006
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