Brooke Hogan is Poor

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Hulk Hogan’s mannish daughter Brooke isn’t the over-indulgant big spender that Teen People might have led you to believe. Page Six reports

In town promoting her debut album, “Undiscovered,” Brooke Hogan waltzed into the LF store on Fifth Avenue with her wrestler dad and a Teen People camera crew shooting their every move. She spent 90 minutes trying on clothes with clerks eventually ringing up $900 of merchandise. Minutes after everyone left, a Hogan flack came back in without cameras to return it all, moaning, “We didn’t actually think you were going to charge her!”

Having “Hulk Hogan” for your father is just one step up from having “that stripper at Deja Vu who could fit a cue ball in her puss ” for a mother, at least in terms of the trailer park social hierarchy.  So I imagine the salesclerks were more chagrined than pleased to have a monstrous tangerine-colored man with a handlebar moustache and his transgendered daughter traipsing about the stores with video cameras.  My initial reaction, had I worked at LF, probably would have been to dump out the contents of the register into Brooke’s open bag and tell her to take anything in the store she wanted, as long as she didn’t make me look at her genitals. And then Teen People would have gotten it all on tape, so I would have gotten fired once the management saw the footage.  You see, that’s exactly why I don’t have a job.  To avoid ugly transexuals with video cameras and potential “WWF” robberies.  Oh, and because you get three DUI’s and a couple of “leaving the scene of an accident’s” and nobody wants to hire you. Except for Deja Vu, but I still can’t fit a cue ball in my puss.

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10 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. stalliano

    OMG, she really does look like a man. Yikes!

  2. hey..stripper at Dejavu…have you been to the Grannys lately? I think you’re hitting ALITTLE close to home, Abby. Just a little too close to home. ; )

  3. And why wouldn’t they charge her? it’s not like she IS anybody.

  4. I saw this chick with her dad at the Hard Rock in Vegas, she’s a big motherfucker, and wasn’t that attractive up close. She isn’t that attractive anyway…………

  5. Ha! I can just imagine them doing the really slow walk out of the store, giving the clerk an extra chance to say, “Oh my gosh! What was I thinking! Here, let me refund your money and you can have all those clothes on the house!”

    Geez, I’m not surprised they didn’t try to pay with monopoly money.

  6. easy e

    I’m not dumb, but I can’t understand
    Why she walk-a like a woman but talk like a man…

  7. ApacheRose

    Jesus “stalliano,” you’re good. I mean, I seriously can’t count how many times I’ve seen Stallion use “OMG” in a post.

    Oh wait, yes I can. NONE. Fag.

  8. bionic bunny

    anybody else notice the conspicuous absence of wally?

    he’s never been too proud to steal someone’s handle.
    sorry if i’m wrong, tho.

  9. Kyle

    I bet this has been said of Brooke before, but i cant resist…from the great words of Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler: “Dude looks like a lady!”

  10. sexy emolicious bitch

    hell ya that bitch looks like a trans fuck that bitch is ugly. u are fucking gay if you like her.

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