Pete Doherty Needs More Lube
Supermodel Kate Moss’ recent trip to a British hospital had nothing to do with her rumored pregnancy. It turns out that her douchebag boyfriend just needed some more lube. The Post-Chronicle reports:
Rocker Peter Doherty wound up in a British hospital recently after he put one of girlfriend Kate Moss’ ring on his finger and couldn’t remove it. The celebrity pair trooped into Princess Grace Hospital in London where nurses using clippers and a lubricant were able to remove the ring… The ordeal lasted some three hours, including an hour of struggling with the ring at Moss’ home.
Where I come from, if you go to the hospital in need of more lubricant, it isn’t because you’ve slipped on one of your fiancee’s baubles. It’s because you’re some kind of sex pervert who has something lodged in your ass. Like, say, a matchbox car, or maybe a toothbrush, or a banana. And it also means that you’re a closet gay. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay gay. I heard that Tom Cruise was in the ER on a weekly basis while he was in New York promoting MI:3, and I’m sure you can guess why: chronic heartburn. Yep, that acid reflux can be a real bitch.
9 Comments, Comment or Ping
Walrus Gumboot
I guess it’s true then! Heroin does make your extreme extremities swell. (No Abby, not as in a swollen penis). Get your mind out of the gutter.
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=Heroin
Nov 2nd, 2006
Italian Stallion
The only thing he needs to lube is his teeth, with toothpaste…….
Nov 2nd, 2006
The UnderTaker
Everybody has been asking what I am going to do to John Cena, come this vengeance. First, I am going to beat his ass. That will shut the Som’Bitch smart talking mouth up.
Then I am going to beat his ass a little more.
Then, I am going to teach him some respect.
Take him for one “Last Ride” as well.
…Did I say that I was going to teach him some respect? I am going to teach him some respect.
Nov 2nd, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Mr. The UnderTaker, while your rant was well thought out and easy to read, I think I speak for all of us when I say, it doesn’t go with the whole Peter Doherty theme.
Perhaps you’d be better starting here,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Wrestling_Entertainment
and clicking some of the links at the bottom of that page.
You have a good day sir!
Nov 2nd, 2006
abby
WTF? Who the hell is John Cena?
Nov 2nd, 2006
John Cena
John Cena was the man in your ass,now you feelin’ like trash.
You thought you knew what I was all about, but you simply got turned out.
So tell me your story I’m sure it not filled with glory, before you could understand , I fucked your pussy with my bear hand!
You spread like butter and fail out with your mother, you stink like a mother fucker…
WORD LIFE!
Nov 2nd, 2006
abby
Wow, I wish John Cena was dead.
Nov 2nd, 2006
abby
Or just horribly burned in a fire.
Nov 2nd, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Abby, I 2nd that emotion.
Nov 2nd, 2006
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