Jessica Simpson Looks Frumpy
When I saw these pictures of a Blockbuster Event yesterday I just assumed they must have been taken in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, because that’s where Dollywood is. And then I took a closer look and realized that Dolly Parton there was actually singer Jessica Simpson. You know, I had a third grade teacher who used to wear that very dress. She always paired it with a smart-looking cardigan with the letters “A B C” and a bookish worm with glasses emerging from an apple stitched on the pocket. It was really quite fetching for a spinster elementary school teacher, but on Jessica, I’m afraid it just doesn’t wear as well. Between that hair and that dress, I’m guessing Jess has shifted her target demographic from “pre-pubescent girls and perverts” to “middle-aged members of ‘The Daughters of the Confederacy’ and perverts.” My great aunt Veloise will be delighted.
More pics of the school marm after the jump.
20 Comments, Comment or Ping
Walrus Gumboot
This “Ha! Ha! I posted % minutes after Abby posted this thread. Beat that suckers!!
(God, I need a lif)” was supposed to read:
Ha! Ha! I posted 5 minutes after Abby posted this thread. Beat that suckers!!
(God, I need a life)
Nov 3rd, 2006
ApacheRose
I really don’t understand Jessica Simpson… and I’m fairly sure that’s a good thing.
Nov 3rd, 2006
Zanna
I was going to say you need an “e” but you fixed it at the end.
Nov 3rd, 2006
Italian Stallion
She kind of looks like she just got done getting fucked and didn’t have time to fix herself up……..
P.S. It was me………..
Nov 3rd, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Abby, What the fuck. I had posted a comment before my 8:58am post. Now it’s gone and I look like a tool.
I saw it there too!
FUCK !!!
Nov 3rd, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
NOTHING PISSES ME OFF MORE THEN WHEN I CRAFT A MASTERPIECE OF A COMMENT AND THEN HAVE IT DISAPPEAR AFTER IT’S BEEN POSTED.
To Yeeeahs server. DON’T MAKE ME LEAVE THIS SITE BECAUSE YOU CAN’T HOLD A POST.
I’m still highly volatile from the Blogger.com bullshit.
Volatile:
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=volatile
Nov 3rd, 2006
Phil
Sorry Walrus, I thought it was a double post. Your comment has been reverted back to its original timestamp. People, Wally broke a new record there. See if you can compete with him, bitches!
Nov 3rd, 2006
sonya
She’s just finished roleplaying with Principal Joe.
Nov 3rd, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Phil, although I appreciate what you did, that was not it. I had wrote a comment at 8:56am about Jessica Simpson (what it was about, escapes me now) along with this line:
“I posted % minutes after Abby posted this thread. Beat that suckers!!
(God, I need a lif)”
As you can see, it makes little sense, so I posted the above post at 8:58am to correct my mistake.
The 8:56am post was / is the one that’s missing.
So I still look like a tool.
Nov 3rd, 2006
Phil
I’m really sorry Walrus. I know you broke a record and I will reward you for that. Send an e-mail to phil @ yeeeah.com with your mailing address and you will get an exclusive Yeeeah! present for X-Mas.
Nov 3rd, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Phil, I don’t give out my personal address. Your apology is enough thanks.
Nov 3rd, 2006
sonya
That’s good, because I’m betting that “reward” was going to be a big reeking turd named Danielle.
Nov 3rd, 2006
ApacheRose
LOL, Sonya. Keeping up with that little saga, are ya? Cripes, what a bitch…
Nov 3rd, 2006
ApacheRose
Just to clarify, I’m speaking of Danielle the bitch, not that Sonya’s a bitch…. just in case anybody read it that way.
Danielle=bitch
Sonya=nice person with great costumes
Nov 3rd, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Apache, I knew you were talking about Danielle, who somehow supposedly changed her name to “HaYtersLuvDanielle”, as if that’s any better.
Nov 3rd, 2006
sonya
That’s okay Apache, you can call me your bitch.
Nov 3rd, 2006
sonya
Walrus, it’s actually very easy to change your nickname with Typekey. That’s how people troll each other so easily.
Nov 3rd, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Sonya, thanks for sharing the secret.
Nov 3rd, 2006
abby
It’s also pretty easy to change your nickname by airbrushing a new one on your t-shirts and license plates and and only responding to said moniker from thereon out. I’m now officially “Dr. Nasty.” “Abby” is dead to me.
Nov 3rd, 2006
Chickadee
She looks like a grandma in that dress, makes her look like a retiree from an old folks home!
Nov 7th, 2006
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