Moby Wants Gay Children
If musician Moby ever decides to have children, he hopes that they will “bat for the other team,” if you know what I mean. He tells World Entertainment Network News:
“[Gay children] are less likely to get into a fight and less likely to date rape people. I’m straight but I’ve grown up around gay people and gay clubs. They are superior to straight people. If you have a gay child you’re more inclined to be a prouder parent.”
Um, no. That’s not what my book on parenting said. It told me that if you suspected your child was gay, the first thing you were supposed to do was “feel ashamed.” Then you’re supposed to park your kid in front of the TV and make him watch an hour’s worth of Mario Cantone’s stand-up comedy, and yell “Is this what you want from your life? This?!” and gesture violently towards the television. And I’m pretty sure you’re expected to roll up and newspaper and swat him on the head every time he tries to tell you about his “different feelings” and rub his nose in in urine for being such a queer. Moby really needs to read up on his parenting skills.
22 Comments, Comment or Ping
Walrus Gumboot
That “less likely to date rape people” line doesn’t bode well with me. I don’t claim to know all the laws, but in some states anal copulation (which is what gays (men) do… right?) is illegal. If it’s illegal, then it’s a form of rape… right?
Hey, with my 9th grade education, that’s as far as I can go with the law talk.
Nov 7th, 2006
trace
I hate Mario Cantone with every fiber of my being. Also Joy Behar. There awful.
Nov 7th, 2006
ApacheRose
That… that dude up there ^^^ is straight? Really?
Wally, I’ll ask the man about your “does anal count as rape” question, but lord knows how I’ll work that into a conversation…or what kind of freaky turn the convo will take from there.
Nov 7th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Apache, ‘trace’ might be a chick?
I think the laws may vary from state to state, so keep that in mind when asking “the man”.
If the conversation opens new avenues of adventure for you in the bedroom, then I’ve done my job.
Nov 7th, 2006
audrey
Moby is a fucking idiot. Talk about stereo typing. And if he’s straight, I’ll wear a bikini on Oprah.
Nov 7th, 2006
Italian Stallion
He has to have sex with a girl first…….
Nov 7th, 2006
sonya
Well DUH, gay men don’t need to date rape anyone, because they’re all sluts. We all know men are horny anyway, so if you take the female who might say “No” out of the equation, and replace it with another horny guy, who’s there to say no?
Nov 7th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Audrey, if you have huge rack, Stallion and I would like to see you wear a bikini on Oprah!
Nov 7th, 2006
abby
He looks like a pussier version of Michael Stipe.
Nov 7th, 2006
Italian Stallion
Walrus, fuck Oprah, this would have to be a private show!!!!!!!!
Nov 7th, 2006
Tim
Does no one here have access to newspapers? Or the Internet? In Lawrence v. Texas (2003) the Supreme Court struck down sodomy laws. I agree, though, that Mario Cantone is annoying as hell.
Nov 7th, 2006
oshkoshb'goshdamngosh
There’s only one way to turn a child gay that I know of, and that’s shock therapy. So far I’ve turned out 17 and 2 gay dogs. Hope to have a cool 50 come springtime (gay season).
Nov 7th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Oshy, good luck with your task!
Nov 7th, 2006
Ollie
Is everybody here a teenager, or younger? That’s how you sound.
Anal sex? That’s all you hear from straight men. For centuries, they condemned gay men for the practice, but with the advent of hetero porn, they are convinced that lesbians look like Jeanna Jamison and that gay women invite straight men into their beds! How stupid can you be? Anal sex is the biggest thing in men’s lives today. Hetero women are getting sick of their husbands trying to talk them into having sex with other women, so their husbands and boyfriends can pop out of the closet and join them.
Get it through your thick skulls: lesbians HATE men, all men, unless it’s their brother or a personal friend. But, they are NOT interested in having any kind of sex with MEN.
Nov 8th, 2006
lyfenlyn
I can’t believe that Moby said something so stupid in public even. He should know better. Even jokingly he knows that people will take him seriously! Dumba$$
Nov 8th, 2006
ApacheRose
Whoa, where the hell was anyone talking about lesbians taking straight men to bed?
And, furthermore, I’ve known a woman who claimed to be lesbian and a man who claimed to be gay and they hooked up for sex regularly. Now, to me, that means they’re both bisexual, but just TRY and tell them that. I thought they were going to kill me for merely suggesting such a thing.
Nov 8th, 2006
will
Who is Moby?
I heard of him but cant place his accomplishments.
And he looks gay.
Nov 8th, 2006
Like A Rolling Stone
Moby looks like a male Nelly Fertado.
He’s a smart guy but even smart guys say fucking ignorant things from time to time.
Nov 8th, 2006
Ollie
Anal sex is now a staple in hetero porn. If you listen to conversations in men’s locker rooms, all they talk about is getting a woman to participate in anal sex. They used to call that a homosexual act and CONDEMNED it.
Now, with the head of the Evangelical Church PAYING a gay prostitute for sex and Mark Foley a GOP congressman labeled a peodophile chasing after young boys, the GOP gay bashers should be re-evaluating their opinions of gay people. I have always believed in live and let live. Will the USA ever cease from having to have SOMEBODY or group to hate? Gay people, born in the USA are citizens of this country. They work, pay taxes and obey the law. And, they deserve to have equal rights. Foreigners can cross our borders, get married and insist on THEIR “equal rights”, but not native born gay people? Something’s wrong with that. How can Americans stand by and allow a group of native-born citizens to LEGALLY be discriminated against?
Nov 9th, 2006
scarletspider
Yeah gay men are less likely to “date rape”, or rape at all….That’s why so many people have such a great time in PRISON!!! I don’t care how you are before you go in or after you go out. If you put your penis in another mans anus….your gay. Eminen should have stompped a mudhole in this pe-nas.
Nov 9th, 2006
Peter North
Moby likes dick. Even his future children will like dick. That’s gross. I guess Moby will be reading “Moby and Dick” to his children during bedtime.
Dec 1st, 2006
John
I think Moby is trying to shit stir with this comment and he has done I
wonderful job.
Why is it that straight people think they are so fucking great and that everybody
loves them. Straight people sometimes make me so mad I just want to gas the
fucking lot of you stupid cunts.
Jan 28th, 2007
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