Britney Sex Tape To Hit the Net
Apparently those internet rumors of a Britney Spears sex tape are very real, and ex-husband Kevin Federline has already been shopping the risque romp to film companies for release on the web. News of the World reports:
Dumped husband Kevin Federline has been touting the four-hour tape for sale and has already been offered £26 MILLION. A film company wants to make it available online.
The source close to Federline said: “At the time the two of them were in the honeymoon stages of the relationship and couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They did nothing all day but have sex—and play the odd game of chess. They were insatiable and they believed they would be together forever.”
I’m sure you were as shocked as I was when I read this — they played fucking chess?! And videotaped it? Oh, wow, man. You just can’t make that kind of shit up. Britney “Finger Quotes” Spears and CornRolls McGee engaged in a battle of wits — all caught on camera, mind you — saying things like, “Check miz-zate, mothafucka,” and “Oh my gawd, I wanna be the black horsey, ‘cuz he’s soo freakin’ cute y’all!” I’d be more than happy to cough up $29.95 to watch that. I’d skip the anal scene and the part where Kevin flashes his gangsta signs at the camera while he’s pounding away on Britney and go straight to the good stuff: the chess match, baby. “One Night with Britney” is gonna be better than I ever dreamed it could be.
12 Comments, Comment or Ping
m
Maybe they played strip chess! LOL
Nov 13th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
The source close to Federline that said, “…and play the odd game of chess,” was misquoted. The source really said, “it’s odd they even know there’s a game called chess.”
Nov 13th, 2006
RichPort
I’m sure the “odd game of chess” involved them randomly lining up the pieces on their backyard fence and shooting them off with a .22 caliber rifle… Earl would change the rules everytime Titney was winning, screaming “CHECKMATE!!!” when it was she who had clearly decapitated the rook. Watching these two obliterate the rules would be like watching Calvin and Hobbes playing Calvin-ball. “C’mon Brit, I told you my crotch was first base, you have to slide into that tree to rape the Queen!!!” I mean who doesn’t love redneck chess?
Nov 13th, 2006
sonya
What’s up with that hat and that hair? She looks like Oliver Twist.
“Please sir, can I have some more?”
Nov 13th, 2006
abby
“Could ye spare a crust of bread? Or some Clearasil?”
Nov 13th, 2006
sonya
“Or half a brain? A redo on my life? Or how about just a loaded pistol?”
Nov 13th, 2006
Nikky
D*mn, Brit is going to be reaping the consequences and repurcussions of dealing with this mancunt for a loooooooong time. I feel sorry for the chirruns, having a poppa zow that ain’t worth the hair grease he slid in on.
Nov 14th, 2006
Tine
Ha! Mancunt – what a perfect name for K-Fed! Nice one Nikky.
Nov 14th, 2006
jon
thats what that dumb whore gets for supporting president bush
Nov 20th, 2006
dick
i’ll f her too
Feb 6th, 2007
Lola
Britney and K-fed’s game of chess probably included sex some way because britney is such a slut. S he probably f***** him every time she got a checkmate
Feb 21st, 2007
emma
cool blog!
Apr 9th, 2007
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