I pretty much assumed Michelle Rodriguez was gay after that hairy-armpit-licking episode earlier in the year, and according to Advocate magazine, I was right. Advocate insists that the cryptic interview below with “girlfriend” Kristanna Loken in their upcoming issue proves that Rodriguez and her “BloodRayne” co-star are more than just friends.

Kristanna Loken… found an adorable way of letting us know that she’s involved with her equally sexy BloodRayne costar Michelle Rodriguez. At first Loken, 27… affirmed that she’s in a relationship but wouldn’t specify the name or gender. Then we mentioned the tantalizing stories Loken has told in past interviews about getting tight with Rodriguez when they filmed BloodRayne in Romania. Here’s what happened next.

What about all the stuff that was said about you and Michelle on the shoot?
[Laughs, then takes a deep breath] There is the $64,000 question. Um…I don’t even know how to answer that.

It seems like you both had a lot of fun partying.
Uh-huh. [Smiles, doesn’t say anything]

OK, your silence says volumes. [Both laugh]
Just don’t look upstairs, OK?

Ooh, OK. You don’t want me to print that?
You can print it. [Laughs again] The very hot housekeeper. No, just joking.

Just how that is an affirmation of Michelle’s gayness is a mystery to me. It sounds like a whole lotta nothing. Usually coming out of the lesbian closet involves the words “She’s gay” or “She likes to have sexual intercourse with women” or “She has a mullet, doesn’t she?” Not “uh-huh,” “silence,” or “don’t look upstairs.” That makes no sense whatsoever. All I can garner from this stupid interview is that she might be holding a maid hostage on the second floor and making her watch a crappy old game show. And I’m pretty sure that’s illegal. Just like being gay.