Angie Doesn’t Want Any of Jen’s “Horn of Plenty”
Jennifer Aniston made the mistake of inviting her ex-husband Brad Pitt’s parents to her home for Thanksgiving dinner. The Post-Chronicle reports:
The Thanksgiving visit is said to have occurred after Brad’s parents arrived in Malibu to see their son and Angelina without realizing the couple were in India filming ‘A Mighty Heart’. After discovering they had nowhere to go, Jennifer invited the Pitts to have Thanksgiving dinner at her house instead. Jennifer’s friend Tonya Hart said: “Jen was just coming to Brad’s rescue. His folks bought the tickets ages ago. Jennifer thought she was doing good, but apparently it’s whipped up a hornet’s nest with Angelina.”
Jen is a fucking idiot. She needs to learn to simply steer clear of Angelina. Beauty that powerful and refined seems too dangerous to cross. I dare say that Angelina could be a mutant or some kind of exotic alien hybrid with superpowers or something. I’ve spent plenty of time touching myself while studying Angie’s pictures and I’m pretty sure I went into a trance and sold my soul to her at some point along the way. I’m not quite sure how it happened. Her beauty kind of forces you into some kind of masturbatory third realm where you’re helpless to the power of her suggestions. Last week it was “Spy on Jennifer Aniston,” and this morning it was “Run Jennifer Aniston down with your car.” I don’t know exactly how she’s doing it, but I’m definitely afraid. And I’m typing this from my car parked outside the Aniston’s home. Please help me.
17 Comments, Comment or Ping
Italian Stallion
Hasn’t she seen any of Jolie’s movies, that bitch can kick some ass. Put her and Brad together for a Smith reunion, and you’re in big fucking trouble in little China………
Nov 21st, 2006
Zanna
Abby, i told you to wait for me before you left. I bet you forgot the tarp and the shovel, didn’t you. Yes you did because it’s here with me. Don’t do anything until I get there.
Nov 21st, 2006
Audie
This smells like a crap story. Like Brad’s mom and dad don’t know where he is. What are they stuck living in an Amish community with no tv, no radio, no computers? Ten minutes of ET and they would know.
Nov 21st, 2006
abby
Zanna — what can I do to stop the twitching? It’s getting out of control. I already tapped that second bottle of Maker’s and smoked a little meth. I’m freakin’ out over here. Killing kind of weirds me out.
Nov 21st, 2006
Zanna
Abby, answer your cell phone. I need you to help me get the bag of lime out of my car.
Nov 21st, 2006
gail
Exactly. The parents only have to check any gossip site to see where Brad is. Story faux.
Nov 21st, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
I hate both of them bitches!
Nov 21st, 2006
abby
Um, it might shock some of you to know that not everybody reads celebrity gossip. People like doctors and stockbrokers and nuclear physicists and stuff. So the story very well may be true. It came from the Post-Chronicle, which is just one step down from the Bible in terms of accuracy in reporting.
Nov 21st, 2006
Zanna
Gail and Audy: Just because your parents have to read about your shenannigans in “Police Beat” doesn’t mean EVERYONE’s parents have to read about them in the papers or see them on tv.
Nov 21st, 2006
A
I think if its true Jen showed a lot of tact. That was the polite thing to do. If angies mad maybe it should be because there is a serious lack of communication in the family.
Nov 21st, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
I still hate both of them bitches!
By both of them bitches, I’m talking about you Abby & Zanna!
Where is my picture Z?
Nov 21st, 2006
sonya
I agree, Jen was being gracious. Brad and Jen were married for several years, so it’s likely that she and his parents had a good relationship. Is Angie so worried that Brad will go back to her that she feels threatened by this? Lame.
Nov 21st, 2006
Zanna
I told you you’re not getting it, Wally. Respect that.
Nov 21st, 2006
henry cloud
Right, like Brad’s parents would travel to Malibu without being invited, and without arrangements to be picked-up by Brad upon arrival. And without any phone call between them and Brad.
This story is SO fake, and it seems to be the way “news” is manufactured now-a-days.
Tabloids are desperate when 24 hrs go by without news about Angelina and Brad.
And Aniston’s agent Huvane keeps planting false news just to keep her in the spotlight-since she has nothing to be in the news for (being an ‘ex” and out of work).
Nov 21st, 2006
Marie
Oh man…
This is sooo funny! Thanks for the laugh. ;D
(and I fully agree with Henry)
Nov 22nd, 2006
Blondie
Fake Story:
Help!!! Jennifer, can you pick me up from the airport? I just
thought that I would pop by and surprise Brad and Angie for
Thanksgiving, but I just heard that they might be in Vietnam or something?
Oh, sure Mom. I will be glad to pick you up. And did you also
remember to bring all of the baby pictures, and other private
photos of Brad’s new family that I have begged you to sneak to me so that I can drool over them? With your hep, I will
have those two broken up before Christmas.
Oh, Jennifer, I can’t wait to have you back in the family. And then we can all laugh at you behind your back, just like
old times….ooops!!!
Nov 24th, 2006
Dana
You poor ladies…have you nothing else to do?
You are all so miserable.
& stop all the cursing already!
Dec 2nd, 2006
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