Britney Spears and ex-husband Kevin Federline are issuing a joint statement sometime today in regard to the rumors of a soon-to-be released sex tape. TMZ reports:

Reps from the divorcing couple tell us that both Britney and Kevin want to put an end to rumors that K-Fed is out peddling a sex tape for some quick cash. They have agreed to jointly issue a statement, hoping to put an end to the flurry of stories that such a tape exists.

Well, fuck. I was really looking forward to seeing that nekkid chess match and all the hot “Britney Rears” K-Fed ass-tappin’ action my 20 inch black-and-white could handle. I’m sure you’re just as disappointed as I am. Probably not as drunk, but disappointed nonetheless. Well, I keep an ace up my sleeve for just such unfortunate occasions, boys and girls — nipples. You’re feeling better already, aren’t you? Actress Rose McGowan had some serious pokies last week while out cavorting with her boyfriend. Here they are, from all kinds of angles, looking pert and glorious and nothing like Britney Spears and K-Fed having intercourse. Enjoy.

More McGowan nipples after the jump.