Britney Spears Buys Some Goddamn Underwear

britney_spears_panties

The permanently-panty-less Britney Spears finally had the good sense to stock up on underpants after a week of having her bare beaver displayed for internet users the world over. TMZ reports:

Despite persistent sightings of Brit’s bare bits she just spent more than $3000 on thongs and other fancy underthings at trendy Le Bra Lingerie boutique in West Hollywood… Spears charged up a camisole and thong for $1315, a bustier and thong for $510, a black corset and matching red thong for $300, and a yellow bra and thong for $333, among other things.

After seeing the Spears babymaker up close and personal, I can say with confidence that a thong ain’t gonna do the job, no matter how much it fucking cost. Britney has a whole lotta skin and flaps and chafing down there, and trying to stuff all that genital into a teeny-tiny thong would be like trying to put a band-aid on a fresh leg amputation. Just too big a job. I’m thinking more like a twin size bed sheet fastened with safety pins, or maybe an old parachute.

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5 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Ok, we got the puntang covered now, what are her plans for that face?

  2. Hopefully the plans are either: PAPER OR PLASTIC

  3. abby

    Or cortisone cream for the razor burn. God, bumpy red labia are foul.

  4. I wish she would sit on my face with the gorgeous Spears ass!

    Link NSFW:
    http://www.hotfacesitting.com/home.htm

  5. Ain’t like she gonna wear them.

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