Going Commando Was Paris’ Idea
Heiress Paris Hilton seems to have acquired a taste for the fairer sex — and right now that translates into an “All-You-Can-Eat-Britney-Spears-Buffet.” According to News of the World, which is pretty much second only to a national census in terms of reporting accuracy,
Our insider said: “Paris loves the fact that Britney gets turned on by going commando. She even demanded that Britney take her knickers off in front of her. Britney just obeyed. They went into a toilet and came out 20 minutes later, clothes and hair all over the place… They love to prance naked in front of each other and that night they really got to know each other.”
Then Paris invited Britney to her Hollywood home.
A source said: “Paris led her to the bedroom, helped her strip and kitted her out in blue tutu and high heels for a dance on the stripper pole. That’s how it’s been since—out every night for drinks then home to party.”
Aaannd scene. That’s pretty much verbatim the opening act to my new play, “My Crotch Burns for Thee,” a three-part musical chronicling the day-to-day life of a certain STD-riddled heiress and her slut Hollywood friends. My English teacher said I should “draw from what I know.” It’s totally going to be my ticket out of this dump. The pyrotechnics and live animals for the sex show at the end of Act II might be a little hard to pull off in the high school gym, but I still believe some producer is going to come across “My Crotch Burns for Thee” and pluck me from internet oblivion into the realm of the Broadway cognoscenti.
For all my “irony” fans out there, some additional pics of Paris in panties after the jump.
12 Comments, Comment or Ping
Walrus Gumboot
I give Paris an ‘A’ for effort!
It’s not everybody that can take a country bumpkin and turn her into a “big city” girl!
Dec 4th, 2006
abby
“Big City Girl”? That’s the line? I always thought it was “Big-Titty Squirrel.” Now it finally makes sense.
Dec 4th, 2006
Zanna
Her eye looks particularly wonked in these photos. She probably has a pube stuck in her eye.
Dec 4th, 2006
Italian Stallion
What the fuck is up with these two? If they weren’t so nasty, I think I would have to teach them a lesson by smacking them silly with Italian sausage…………
Dec 4th, 2006
mike
What’s really ironic is that scene would have been hotter BEFORE britney flashed her ugly little cooze to the world.
http://celebriteaze.blogspot.com
Dec 4th, 2006
audrey
How would anyone know what was going on in the privacy of one’s home unless you either invited a third party to witness it, or one of the two is spilling secrets via Kinkos to the media?
Dec 4th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Abby, ‘Big-Titty Squirrel’ makes sense to me!
Dec 4th, 2006
BarbaboSlim
Wow, reading that almost made me want to jack-off, and by jack-off I meant projectile vomit.
gross.
Dec 4th, 2006
oshkoshisawesome
Paris had an idea? WTF!
Dec 4th, 2006
Peter North
Paris and Britney prancing around naked? That’s one scene i would definitely want to have in my video. Pole dancing - totally slutty. And the two sliding up and down the north pole - a classic in the making.
Dec 6th, 2006
Linkin Mall
Britney can’t wrestle,
But we got to see her box.
Dec 6th, 2006
Big Boy X
I eat ‘em both up with a spoon an’ cracker….Yum Yum…..I love Brit’s scar and cookie….
Dec 10th, 2006
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