Angie Bares All in Vogue

Angelina Jolie opens up about her relationship with Brad Pitt for the first time ever in next month’s issue of Vogue magazine. She says,
“Brad was a huge surprise to me. I, like most people, had a very distant impression of him from…the media. I am just as guilty! We push each other to be better. Even if it’s just a better bike rider or a better pilot. We’re constantly in competition with each other. He’s somebody I admire based on the way he lives his life. And that’s why I’m with him. [He is] the person closest to me.
[We] found this strange friendship and partnership that kind of just suddenly happened [on the set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith.] I think a few months in I realized, God, I can’t wait to get to work. Whether it was shooting a scene or arguing about a scene or gun practice or dance class or doing stunts - anything we had to do with each other, we just found a lot of joy in it together and a lot of real teamwork. Life developed in a way where we could be together, and where it felt like something we would do, we should do.”
That’s just about the most convincingly selfless reason for breaking up a marriage I’ve ever heard. Seriously, Angie missed her calling as a defense attorney. “Your honor, my client has raped, pillaged, and murdered, but he did it in the name of his children! Children plucked from war-torn third-world poverty. And look me in the face when I’m speaking to you. No, I mean directly in the eyes. I said look at me! I’m fucking gorgeous! Could anything other than truth escape these pillowy lips?” And of course the judge would bashfully smile and dismiss the case in the hopes of concealing the massive boner he had under his robe. American justice, baby! You just can’t beat it.

24 Comments, Comment or Ping
Italian Stallion
Yes, I can’t wait for that issue, NOT!!!!!!!!!!!
Dec 13th, 2006
abby
I know what I’m getting you for Christmas, Stallion! A subscription to Vogue and a mistletoe cock-ring. The holiday spirit has really moved me today.
Dec 13th, 2006
Zanna
Ohh, I’d bet you’d read it if it was in MAXIM though…huh, wouldn’t you…WOULD’T YOU!!! Gimme a cookie.
Dec 13th, 2006
Zanna
That gives a whole new meaning to “kissing under the mistletoe”. I had a kissing under the camel toe joke too but there it is…gone.
Dec 13th, 2006
Italian Stallion
cookie? I don’t get it……… the only mag I read is Martha Stewarts
Dec 13th, 2006
Italian Stallion
Abby- for Christmas I’m giving you a close up view of said cock and ring……..oh, and Stallion-nog in your face…………..
Dec 13th, 2006
abby
That gives a whole new meaning to “milk moustache,” Stallion.
Camel toe jokes are so tenuous and finely crafted… one step too close and pffft! they’re gone. I only attempt them if I’ve been drinking.
Dec 13th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
It must really be tough being those two??
Dec 13th, 2006
Dragulf
Why are all the hairs on my arm standing up? Angelina and Nude in the same sentence!
Abby! You tease! ;p *shivers*
Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy this year. I adopted another damn cat and I keep feeding it, semi regularly. I called the cops on the FUCKING LOUD ASS TILL 4 IN THE FUCKING MORNING NEIGHBORS. I have only flipped off about 10 people this year.
I want a Wii, a PS3 and a 360!
P.S. Hey Fatass! You might know when I’m awake but I know where you live, fucker!
Dec 13th, 2006
crabbie
Free Brad.
http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com
Dec 13th, 2006
oshkoshb'grabmyhooters
A camel toe and a cookie walk into a bar. The cookie says, “Hey, suck it, fatass.” The bartender looks at the camel toe and asks her for some ID. She turns to the cookie who is now buried under several empty bottles of Limoncello. So then she kicks Angelina Jolie in the throat, collapsing her trachea. The End.
Dec 13th, 2006
Nikky
lol! Where the normal person (well, MOST normal people) would have just had a “mental” affair, enjoyed the flirtation, and then kept it pushin when filming wrapped…Angelina and Brad just rolled with it. Ahhh, celeb life - it hurts so good.
Dec 13th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
oshy, is that a true story??
Dec 13th, 2006
oshkoshb'grabmyhooters
It has an element of truthiness.
Dec 13th, 2006
Lisa
Why do Americans always have to invest in these Golden Couples. Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston broke up like countless of others. Let’s not make it so simple but couples break up ALL THE TIME. For those who choose to believe that Jennifer Aniston played no part whatsover, grow up. Get real. That is just not life. It takes two to make and break a marriage.
Dec 13th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Like you lips have elements of being hot??
http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/1197/3166/1600/884476/000_0248.jpg
Sorry for that Oshy! ↑ ↑ ↑
Don’t be mad!
Dec 13th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Abby, I’m still waiting for my daily “Quickie”
Dec 13th, 2006
oshkoshb'grabmyhooters
Um, I’m not authorized to view that page, so I’m not sure why I should be mad, although I am afraid, and confused, and now suddenly I have stopped caring, and now I’m horny, and now I want a donut.
Dec 13th, 2006
sonya
Sometimes after I eat corn I poop Golden Couples.
Dec 13th, 2006
bionic bunny
uh, thanks for sharing that, sonya.
somebody pass me the cookies.
Dec 13th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Oshy, what do you mean you’re not authorized to view that page? You are missing out on something really spectular!!
Dec 13th, 2006
Jesus
Great site. I love celebrity gossip. need help killing surving the work week. check out
http://www.energyturtle.com
Dec 13th, 2006
kate
I love Jennifer Aniston
Dec 27th, 2006
Charlie
^^and i love angelina jolie
so whoop fucking whoop
Jan 29th, 2007
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