Nicole Richie’s DUI Could Mean Jail Time
The DUI Nicole Richie was charged with earlier this week could potentially land the 85-pound starlet in the pokey. TMZ reports:
Richie pled no contest four years ago to driving under the influence. Under California law, if Richie is convicted of DUI as a result of Monday’s arrest… [she must serve] a mandatory sentence of five consecutive days in county jail as well as a one year license suspension…
I don’t see how someone parked on the freeway at four in the morning facing the wrong fucking direction wouldn’t be convicted of a DUI. But of course, Nicole Richie is famous. And we’re not. Well, okay — I guess you could say I’m “famous” down at the MacArthur Pub on 87th. You know, for being the girl that puked on the foosball table and fornicated with a cue stick the year the Titans almost won the Super Bowl. You probably heard about me spitting in the arresting officer’s face and kicking over one of the Budweiser displays on my way out. It’s all true. Everybody at MacArthur’s knows my name. Granted, it’s because there’s a copy of my driver’s license hanging on the wall with a big DO NOT SERVE in red letters underneath, but still, I’m famous! I’ve never heard of you.
11 Comments, Comment or Ping
Walrus Gumboot
Maybe a steady diet of bread and water will teach this young lady about proper nutrition?
Nutrition:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/nutrition
Dec 14th, 2006
nrrvus
This broads been seeking acceptance since her parents gave her away at birth, I’m speculating but they were probably druggies and she was an accident.
What greater cry for help could she make, heroin addict,anorexic, alcoholic, vicodin and pot, and then driving impaired for the second time. How many times did she make the drive to Malibu and not get caught.The bitch is going to kill someone, driving the wrong way on the highway. With all her money, can’t the stupid slut take a cab, like the rest of us.
Dec 14th, 2006
Zanna
Take a cab like the rest of us? This stupid slut likes to find random men at closing time to take her home.
I don’t know, Wally….bread and water is probably more food than she’s used to.
Dec 14th, 2006
audrey
I would love to see Skeletor behind bars. At least there wouldn’t be any pictures of her being taken while she was incarcerated, and maybe her fanatical following would find someone else to revere with the same inane adoration. But that is not going to happen, sadly, and she will be given community service. Can’t you just see her now telling tales of her rather extravagant, and pointless lifestyle to the down and outers and homeless people at the shelter they send her to serve her time?
Dec 14th, 2006
abby
I don’t know if jail is the best option for our little Nicole. She could probably fit through the bars, or at least pick the locks using those bony little elbows of hers. I’m thinking maybe a pit filled with bears and ravenous wolves would be better.
Dec 14th, 2006
sonya
Poor bears and wolves. If they’re really hungry, it’s not very nice to throw someone to them who wouldn’t make a mouthful.
Dec 14th, 2006
abby
… more like a rubbery chew toy.
Dec 14th, 2006
Amy
Well, I don’t get why she has to go to jail but Snoop doesn’t. I mean, wtf? He’s ALWAYS being arrested for dumber & dumber stuff. But maybe if she sits in jail a while she’ll gain some weight, even if they do only feed her bread & water. It’s probably more than she eats anyhow.
Dec 14th, 2006
Italian Stallion
Amy- Snoop doesn’t go to jail because he’s cool, and it would start to many gang wars in da hood………………
Dec 14th, 2006
abby
They really should have thrown her in jail three years ago for being such a fatass on the first season of “The Simple Life.” I’m pretty sure being fat is a misdemeanor. And fat people are disgusting. Thank God Nicole finally saw the light.
Dec 14th, 2006
Italian Stallion
You mean “The Fat Life” right, right?
Dec 14th, 2006
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