Miss USA is a Coked-Up Slut

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If you’ve been wondering why Miss USA winner Tara Conner is to be publicly de-throned this Tuesday, well, it’s because she likes binge drinking. And intercourse. With a lot of different dudes. And also making out with chicks and snorting cocaine, possibly double penetration and bukkake. NY Daily News reports:

Miss USA Tara Conner is on the verge of losing her crown after testing positive for cocaine, lustily kissing Miss Teen USA in public and sneaking men into their Trump Place apartment. “Tara was a party animal,” said a source. “I’ve seen them kiss before. [Tara and Miss Teen USA Katie Blair] always dance all sexy on the tables. … They definitely get close.” One clubgoer described… seeing Conner snort cocaine in one of the nightclubs where she drank regularly despite being underage, and… she recently failed a drug test.

And that right there is pretty much why I’ve never competed in a Miss USA pageant. I’ve got the jaw-droppingly good looks, the perfectly sculpted body and unnaturally white teeth, but I have to admit I like me some blow. And some random penis. And the occasional public drunken lesbian hookup. I like it a lot more than I would wearing a tiara and a sash for a year. Besides, I already made my own Miss USA ensemble from some leftover birthday party streamers and my Happy New Year 1996 headband, and I just tell people that I’m Miss USA. It’s pretty convincing. Sometimes people point and laugh when I wear it out in public, but it’s only because they’re jealous, baby.

19 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. She IS the epitome of America today.

  2. abby

    Touche, Wally.

  3. Touche© has also been copyrighted by me!

    As far as I can see… It’s Wally 2 - Abby 0

    But YOU still have that ‘rapists wit’ thing going for ya! :razz:

  4. abby

    Are we competing?

  5. Wally, do you EVER sleep?

    This woman is giving cocaine a bad name, and that hurts me.

  6. abby

    And also “bukkake,” and that hurts me.

  7. Zanna - What do you care?

  8. Zanna & Abby- I have something that will hurt both of you, in a good way, oh, and at the same time. You two are cool with that right? Tonight, at the bowling alley, you can play with my balls………..

  9. abby

    Is it “cosmic bowling”? Because if it is, I’m sold, baby.

  10. It’s not “duck pin”….it’s “duck penis”……….

  11. No on the competing Abby

  12. oshkoshb'libtardsalad

    I personally like to sprinkle a little coke on my french toast. It’s the breakfast of champions with ulcers.

  13. abby

    I like to sprinkle a little coke on my anus. Because I’ve done so much blow, my nasal passages are fried. Got to take it up the ass, my friend.

    On the plus side, no more burning hemorrhoids. Just a pleasant numb feeling.

  14. Rampstein

    She’s a coked-up slut……………SO WHAT?

    Bush bombs innocent people and even he is still “in charge”

    Now I’m asking you……who’s more dangerous?

  15. t6v

    never takes long for someone to turn any kind of news into some political bullshit does it? thx Rampstein.

  16. Rampstein

    yw

  17. Stuff16834

    Any of you interested in having a group makeout party?

  18. Stuff16834

    anybody call me

  19. Merle Meng

    Naked Miss Usa really sexy in homemade video

    Free video here:

    http://miss–usa.blogspot.com/?id=76985909&s=y

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