It appears that aging tycoon Donald Trump may have masterminded the media blitz involving the almost-dethroning of Miss USA Tara Connor. TMZ reports:

“The Donald himself could have made a decision on Conner’s future weeks ago, and allowed the matter to pass with a minimum of media attention. However, according to a well-placed insider, Trump has been relishing the publicity that the Conner situation has generated for his pageant and let the fiasco continue to play out.”

Trump made a televised announcement this morning declaring that Tara would not lose her crown, but instead would enter mandatory rehab. And that he’s a fucking marketing genius. I promise you that nobody anywhere knew the name of the current “Miss USA” until this little debacle unfolded. In fact, I don’t know anybody who even watches beauty pagaents, except pervert losers with masturbatory issues and fat stage moms living vicariously through their six year-olds. But you throw in hot lesbian sex and slutty blonds with coke problems and you’ve got a ratings machine. I fully expect next years winner to do anal, possibly during the televised competition itself, and to have a crippling heroin addiction funded by the money she generated selling one of her ovaries and blowing middle-age business men in Taiwan. And I can bet you’ll know Miss USA 2007’s name when it’s all said and done.

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