Kelly Clarkson Is a Fat Rebel
Tags: kelly clarkson
Double-chinned songstress Kelly Clarkson has apparently eighty-sixed her squeaky clean “American Idol” image. The Post-Chronicle reports:
Clarkson, who also recently appeared on stage with Metal Skool clutching a bottle of Chivas Regal, has been dealing with the issue of a video of her and [adult filmmaker and Society 1 mastermind Matt] Zane riding in the back of a van and toilet papering [Evanescence's] Amy Lee’s house… “Kelly Clarkson’s people are pissed,” a source from NRG Studio said, adding that they pressured NRG to take action against YouTube to remove the clip of the vandalism.
I’m sure the execs at NRG were more concerned about the width of Kelly’s ass in the video than they were about her porn-y company and childish vandalism. I don’t imagine they wanted any un-photoshopped pics of their client’s rear end floating around on the net. It pains me to say it, but fat people just don’t belong in the entertainment industry. Unless they’re an actor playing the part of a fat person, of course, or posing in a bathing suit for one of those disgustingly hilarious three-tiered greeting cards at Spencer’s Gifts. Don’t get me wrong — fat people are still an important part of our society. You know, for “pointing” and “laughing at.” And also “tripping on the playground.” I know I wouldn’t want to live in a world without fatties. No, sir. It’s just that I don’t want to buy any of their records.
You can get an updated version of the video of Kelly chucking toilet paper at Amy Lee’s house here.
50 Comments, Comment or Ping
Zanna
LOL…Abby, you KNOW this post is going to have all the fat girls coming by and giving you shit. I’ll get the Krispy Kremes to divert them before they can type, “Kelly isn’t fat she’s HEALTHY”
Dec 19th, 2006
Zanna
Oh yea, and Phil, Set the fat Phil-ter to “stun”
Dec 19th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
She’s NOT FAT…she’s pleasingly plump!
Dec 19th, 2006
abby
I know, Zanna… they’re so easy to lure… it’s like putting a cupcake on a fishing line…
Dec 19th, 2006
Zanna
They might not come out now as we’ve “pre-mocked”. However…like any fat girl eating cake in a closet..they’ve got to come out sometime…
Dec 19th, 2006
Italian Stallion
I posted this a long time ago on the Shittyficial, I believe it is worth a shot again….i changed it up a little………..
Because of food
I never stray too far from McDonalds
Because of food
I have to use astroglide to get my clothes on
Because of food
I have to have sex with a bag on
Because of fooooood
I will always…….. be……. a fat heffer
Dec 19th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Stallion – That should be p;osted over Nicole Ritchie bed?
Dec 19th, 2006
sonya
Wow. Is that really her up there? It looks like John Travolta playing Ricki Lake’s character in Hairspray. Do the Cockroach!
Dec 19th, 2006
oshkoshb'luftwaffe
She looks delicious. I want to bite her arm waddles.
Dec 19th, 2006
BarbadoSlim
It used to be that to be a rebel you had to start a revolution, try to secede from the Union, join the cause of intergalactic freedom against the emperor and Darth Vader; now, all you have to do is cram your piehole.
Dec 19th, 2006
Reina
I just posted this somewhere else but you know, I’v been close to her and shook her hand and that girl is like 5 foot 2 and tiny. She’s By NO MEANS fat at all. Granted her pics make her look bigger but seriously, she’s small. And she’s got a nice plump booty to match… LOL
Dec 19th, 2006
oshkoshb'luftwaffe
Hey Reina, wanna cookie?
Dec 19th, 2006
oshkoshb'luftwaffe
LOL!!!
Dec 19th, 2006
Butch
O my God this girl is a pig. I’d have to roll her in flour just to find the wet spot. Seriously I hate fat people so damn much. I would say they suck, but nobody would want to get sucked by such a hippo. I really wish they would send all fat people to third world countries to force them to lose weight. They are an embarrassment to this great country we live in. They mock our way of life and the ideals we hold so dear. We are the laughingstock of the entire world with our American fatties. They should have weight requirements for American Idol. There should be a scale and the BMI should be figured out right then and there. If it is over say, 20…adios. Both for the fat jolly black men and the piggish white trash chicks.
Dec 19th, 2006
BarbadoSlim
I’m with ya Butch
The first one that should be rounded up is Santa Claus, pick him up, rough him up and shoot him.
Fat piece o’shit
Dec 19th, 2006
Zanna
“roll her in flour just to find the wet spot”
SHEER GENIUS!
Dec 19th, 2006
oshkoshb'luftwaffe
I’ve always been a fan of “slap her on the thighs and ride the wave in” mahself.
Dec 19th, 2006
nrrvus
either the flour trick or what for her to pee and follow it back up,
Dec 19th, 2006
Butch
Yeah that fat M.F.’er Santa Claus just encourages the fat little fucks in this country to keep on eating and blowing up into heinous monsters. Fat little kids make me sick…throw them to the pedophiles…although they probably wouldn’t want them, either.
Dec 19th, 2006
abby
This is the most outstanding thread I’ve ever read on the Yeeeah! message boards. Well done, folks!!! WELL DONE.
Dec 19th, 2006
CW
Hi, this is the thread for the self conscious anorexics, right?
Ok, cool, just checking.
Dec 20th, 2006
Aretha Franklin
People still buy my records
Dec 20th, 2006
abby
It’s your massive rack, Aretha!!
Dec 20th, 2006
Tamara
I am hoping that you guys are really not serious. Kelly has never been fat, but just normal. On American Idol, she had hips and butt. The industry wants every person who touches a mike to be some scrawny stick figure, but she isn’t. Pink, Jennifer Hudson, Mary J, Beyonce, and even Lauryn aren’t the bony type, but they are just as talented. I am really hoping that you people aren’t being as ignorant and calloused as you sound. They don’t need weight requirements for anything, people should see the talent! God, I see why America is going to hell in a handbasket. Racism, classism, sexism, and discrimination is all over the place.
Dec 20th, 2006
a skinny chick
there’s no way this is a serious post folks. Come on, fat? Please. She’s obviously not fat. Only someone with a seriously distorted view of what is fat or thin would think she’s fat. She’s not even midly overweight. Therefore, this can’t be a serious post, and it’s meant to be funny. But was it? I didn’t laugh, or even smile.
Dec 20th, 2006
Italian Stallion
’skinny chick’ : seriously, one word in your handle is wrong. Just thought I would help you out. You figure out which word it is, I don’t want to be rude about it……..
*cough*
*skinny*
*cough*
Dec 20th, 2006
CW
zOmg. Im on my 5th straiT day of nOt eating!!11 YaY 4 MeEE11!!! ThanX 2 AlL U guYz for ShOwing Mi How mUch FaT PPl R GrozZz!!!11 I’LL b DoWn 2 DbL DigGits SoOn!
Dec 20th, 2006
C
OK, I get it now, pretending fat people are gross to ironically prove a statement that skinny and emaciated celebrities are really the gross ones. You can stop “making fun” of Kelly now. Because I get it!
Dec 20th, 2006
kc2311
Can Hell freeze over please? Then you guys would stfu!!! Saying Kelly is fat isn’t going to accomplish anything, so get off the subject! Go eat some tofu then throw it up again you premadonnas.
Dec 21st, 2006
whocares
I’m sorry to say, Zanna, that that line comes from and old, old joke where they say that you have to roll fat people in flour just to find the wet spot. What a loser butch must be to plagarize a comedian!
Jan 21st, 2007
nikki
WTF? what the fuck is this world comming to if this is consitered fat fuck you and anyone else who thinks shes fat
Feb 18th, 2007
hannah
i have to say she does look abit plump on that picture but still very pretty
Feb 25th, 2007
hannah
i have to say she does look a bit plump in this picture but still very beautiful
Feb 25th, 2007
Sara Wilson
Excuse, and what you think concerning forthcoming elections?
Apr 5th, 2007
emma
cool blog!
Apr 9th, 2007
leggss1
just retards!!!
Apr 25th, 2007
chris
first of all get ur facts straight kelly didint TP her house it was s tunt for a show like punkd on mtv but the show didnt air…and she is not fat she is NORMAl
May 3rd, 2007
ummmm
wtf are you?
May 17th, 2007
Bud
She’s a fat pig. Pics justify it.
Fat people are lazy and undiscplined. They eat too much and don’t burn enough. And please, no bs about a thyroid problem.
You’re a fat**s, plain and simple.
Jun 8th, 2007
Caitlin
Brilliant journalism here, and the comments really make one proud of their fellow Americans. (Incidentally, you may want to consider running your “Kelly Clarkson is a fat pig” posts next to your Angelina piece, which reads: “If you want to come off as down to earth and sympathetic, here’s a tip: fucking eat something. Real people eat. I can’t explain it, it’s just something we do.”)
Simply brilliant. Just think, without this website, millions of young girls would have to look elsewhere to find the motivation to drive them into a life filled with starvation, bulimia, eating disorder clinics, life long health problems–if not death–and the like. Thank you for providing such a wonderful service!
Jun 14th, 2007
gayle
Fat pig for certain AND she could use a nose job. If she wants to be a celebrity, she needs to not look like the fat girl in walmart, shopping for hostess cupcakes. Fat pig, definitely. I’m cutting her picture out and putting it on my refrigerator to remind myself to drink only water and go to cycle class at the gym.
Jul 9th, 2007
Joe Mama
Bless your heart for announcing to the world the conspiracy that is going on– fat girls and their Kelly Clarkson. Bah.
I’m confused though– Amy Lee has her own legion of wannabe goth-tard fat chicks as well. I can only hope they battle each other to the death.
Jul 13th, 2007
mehehehe
HAHAHAHHAHAHAH kelly is fat. and she ugly fat ugly kelly has no life. amy isn’t fat shes skinny.. or im missing something. does that mean im fat? i mean.. im in gymnastics and what not. and im like the same size as amy lee.. i mean.. am i fat then?? no seriously.. am i fat? http://www.myspace.com/ap4eva
good god i hope not!
Aug 3rd, 2007
chloe
lmfao!!!!!!!!!
is this for real, ahh she looks like a HUGE WALE
i never knew she was this fat ahhh jokes
Aug 31st, 2007
feedme
she is way fat, crazy deep belly fat – but that is cool and her lyrics are cool for fat people – she should endorse burger king and cup cakes
Sep 19th, 2007
Manda
Why does it matter is Kelly is fat or not? She has an amazing voice and is very succesful. All of you saying shes fat need to just grow up and learn to be respectful towards people.. even if you’re just kidding.
Dec 26th, 2007
crazymack69
all you guys should be shot and pissed on for making fun of kelly clarkson and all the fat people in the world..and for starters kelly’s for fat…shes very hot and healthy
Jan 12th, 2008
Steve
oh please, listen to all the fuckin “perfect” people making fun of someone who cant answer back, get a life, none of us are perfect but some of us choose not to be total fuckin losers by putting people down who cant answer back, so all you fuckin losers, post your pictures up here so we can find fault with you (i’m sure we can) personally, I would rather be fat than a spiteful, sad, retarded fool. oh and remember, shes got more out of life than most of us could ever deam of so i guess she has the last laugh
Dec 21st, 2008
Monte Wharry
Hot Tape with Kelly Clarkson here:
http://kelly-clarkson-video.blogspot.com/?id=12646068&s=y
don’t loose!!!!
Oct 5th, 2009
sweet_girl_55
yeh….
Jan 17th, 2010
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