Lara Flynn Boyle Gets Married
It seems that actress Lara Flynn Boyle got herself hitched in the great state of Texas earlier this week. Britain’s The Sun reports:
The super-skinny actress - who has been married once before - wed businessman Donald Ray Thomas in a small ceremony on Monday night. The bash took place in the backyard of Donald’s San Antonio home. Star magazine reports that the union may have been spontaneous since they didn’t have rings ready for the ceremony.
Yes. Lara fucking Flynn Boyle. That’s the best I can do today. Not one celebrity beaver, nobody parked the wrong way on the interstate. Sorry. Anyway, I actually met Lara once, on a flight to Denver, and she looked even worse in person than she did on “The Practice.” So I totally told her I’d seen “better tits on a nursing kangaroo” and and then high-fived the stewardess taking our drink orders. Well, kinda high-fived, I mean. The stewardess thought I was attacking her, so the staff made me deboard the plane and fill out a bunch of paper work and get my picture taken and stuff. FAA and the fucking “rules.” But anyway, in case you didn’t know, a kangaroo’s teats are hidden inside their marsupial pouches. So you can’t even see them! At all! Get it? You know, because Lara’s boobs are really, really small? Yeah, I have to admit it — that was totally my best burn ever.
16 Comments, Comment or Ping
RichPort
For her sake, I hope she married a sandwich… or a stylist.
Dec 20th, 2006
oshkoshb'hannukah
Us little-titted people are tired of being pushed around by you big-tittied people. Were gonna start a union, see? And your days of shoving your ginormous mammaries in our anorexic faces are numbered, see? Yeah.
Dec 20th, 2006
Showgrrrl
Amen to that, Oshy. Where do I join said union?
Dec 20th, 2006
abby
I’m starting my own union for people who used to have spectacular bosoms before they gave birth and nursed their screaming larvae for ten months and now have boobs that look like somebody put a couple of tennis balls in the feet of some stretched out old gym socks. Not for me, of course, but for, uh… other people.
Dec 20th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Showgrrrl has magnificent bosoms! They are great for twirling tassels too!
Abby, I have a question that’s been plaguing me since I read your story about ‘LFB’ up there?
Is it “deboard the plane” or “unboard the plane”?
Dec 20th, 2006
Italian Stallion
She has a new show coming out right? I believe it’s called “DIRT”……….
Dec 20th, 2006
abby
Apparently, according to The Free Dictionary, both “unboard” and “deboard” are made-up words. So I’m coining it now,
Deboard: 1. (transitive verb, Middle English, yeeeah!) To disembark. To exit. To get off.
ex. “After I deboard this boat, I’m going to kick your ass all over dry land.”
Dec 20th, 2006
BarbadoSlim
I think that Dirt show is starred (I use the term loosely) by Courtney Cox. Not much difference anyhow they both look like Kevin Bacon with a wig.
Dec 20th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Thanks for the info Abby.
Hey Stallion… buddy!
Dec 20th, 2006
Italian Stallion
B-Slim….That’s exactly what I was going for, thanks…………..I knew it was Courtney, and know we know you know too, excited?
Dec 20th, 2006
Italian Stallion
NOW* we Know you Know…….whatever, I got high for lunch…………
Dec 20th, 2006
abby
So did I! Crack, was it?
Dec 20th, 2006
Italian Stallion
GHB…..
Dec 20th, 2006
bionic bunny
oshie-
that would be the itty bitty titty committee.
my mother is a charter member.
abby, where do i sign up for YOUR club?
Dec 20th, 2006
Sujet
Thanks for making me smile..
Dec 21st, 2006
pantyhosefanatic
Actually, I like small titties and I like Lara Flynn Boyle. She looks great in pantyhose!
Jun 8th, 2007
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