Mariah Carey at Aspen Peak Magazine Fête
Ladies, if you’re over thirteen and currently wearing a rhinestone studded t-shirt like Mariah Carey here at the Aspen Peak magazine fête, I’d suggest you just go ahead and drink some Drano or maybe slit your wrists or something. Because, to be quite honest, everybody hates you. And I do mean everybody. Those girls at work you keep telling yourself are “just jealous?” They’re laughing at you. Deep down you know it’s true. Guys only acknowledge you because rhinestones are pretty much the universal badge of low self-esteem and insecurity. They’re like a big, glittery, stretched too-tight showing-too-much-stomach red X marking a treasure chest. Only instead of a treasure chest, the X marks your vagina. Sorry about that. I don’t make the rules.
Now guys, if you happen to be over thirteen and currently wearing a rhinestone-studded t-shirt, well, I’m sure the bruises will fade over time, and dentists can always make you new teeth.
More Missy Elliot inspired outerwear after the jump.
13 Comments, Comment or Ping
Showgrrrl
What about having rhinestones on your PANTS? Me, I enjoy be-dazzling and bejewelling my pants right in the crotchal region. THEN there’s no question about my intentions. I’d hate to have people GUESS.
Kinda feels nifty when you sit down, too.
Dec 28th, 2006
Litelysalted
Where did the Brit post go?!?! I actually had a good comment but it kept freezing and I couldn’t leave it. Boo!
Dec 29th, 2006
Wally Gumboot
Salted - You are having problems with Yeeeah lately too? At least it’s not just me this time.
Dec 29th, 2006
Phil
We had lots of trouble with the server these last two days. We had to recompile php. Everything should be fine now, but I don’t know what happened to the britney post.
Dec 29th, 2006
BarbadoSlim
Huh, is it time for for the State Fair heifer competiton already?
Dec 29th, 2006
Zanna
The britney post got sucked into her own vagina. There is a scientific explanation for it..something about a black hole..I dunno.
Dec 29th, 2006
Wally Gumboot
Haha! Zanna.
Dec 29th, 2006
BarbadoSlim
Nah nah black hole is too scientific, in britney’s case, it got sucked down her outhouse.
Dec 29th, 2006
Phil
Haha, that’s a plausible explanation. Abby will post later today, she’s currently kicking the asses of the geeks who work at our hosting company.
Dec 29th, 2006
Wally Gumboot
Thanks Phil.
Dec 29th, 2006
Italian Stallion
Such a pretty face…….for a fat bitch!!
Dec 29th, 2006
James
damn pretty face that would look even better with my cock in her mouth
Jan 7th, 2007
person with a life
wil yas al cop yaself on… this site suxz and yas talk about such rude rubbish…
Nov 28th, 2007
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