Britney Spears Rings in 2007 In Style
Deposed pop princess Britney Spears collapsed at Pure nightclub half-way through her duties as hostess at a New Year’s Eve celebration in Vegas. Vegas Popular reports:
[Britney] intimated she wanted to leave and as she stood up, “she went into a dead faint and just fell right to the floor.” One woman in the Spears’ entourage yelled, “Make sure nobody gets any photos. No photos anywhere.” [Her security literally] carrying her in both arms, they managed to propell her through the crowds and out of the club. It appeared as if “she was being dragged as she wasn’t walking under her own speed” said one eyewitness. “It looked as if they wanted to get her up to her hotel room as soon as possible.”
Naturally, Britney’s camp is denying that anything out of the ordinary happened, telling People magazine that she was “just tired” and “by about one o’clock, she was just done.” Right. I’m waiting for the ingenious party-goer who caught it all with his camera phone to release the footage on YouTube. Drunk people don’t just fall to the floor in a “faint,” you know. It’s usually a side-step or two stagger and and then a hilarious arm-flail towards a table a good three feet out of your reach before you actually collapse in a heap on the ground. Occasionally, you take out the table behind you, dumping drinks and ashstrays onto your fancy black dress and shitty weave. And then people point and laugh because you’ve pissed your pants and there’s soggy ash on your face and nobody likes you. Merry 2007, Britney.
More cheap-ass weave and gum-chewing after the jump
17 Comments, Comment or Ping
RichPort
Her thighs give me a rise in my Levis… I wonder what Indian girl had her hair shorn and bleached so this baby dropper could have more weave than a dog running through traffic. Poor little Fatima Chowdury from Mumbai is probably being ridiculed in her brothel as we speak, but at least her family got to buy two and a half goats and satellite TV.
Jan 2nd, 2007
abby
Fatima probably had to be burned on a pyre. Cultural mandates and such.
Jan 2nd, 2007
RichPort
I’ve always liked the word ‘pyre’… in fact I like any word where a ‘y’ replaces what should be an ‘i’, like how they have ‘tyres’ in the UK (that always makes me giggle). And to think, the rest of Fatima’s family is now working the customer service lines for American companies, using names like Daisy and Bob. All so little miss snatch shot up there can pretend to have luscious locks. I love America more and more every day!
Jan 2nd, 2007
abby
ODE TO RICHPORT:
You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a lyar
If I was to say to you
Boy, we couldn’t get much hyer
Come on baby, light my fyre
The time to hesitate is through
No time to wallow in the myre
Try now we can only lose
And our love become a funeral pyre
Come on baby, light my fyre
I wrote that myself, especially for you.
Jan 2nd, 2007
BarbadoSlim
nothing to see here, typical trailer year end send out, it wasn’t really a party if it wasn’t featured on COPS and you woke up two days later in a pool of your own vomit.
Jan 2nd, 2007
abby
Or a puddle of somebody else’s vomit.*
*also acceptable: semen or urine
Jan 2nd, 2007
RichPort
Abby (sniff), that was lovely, in a Beyonce’s face buried in my lap kind of way… what a way to start ‘07! I’m on fYre now!!!
Jan 2nd, 2007
Wally Gumboot
Happy New Year Abby.
Jan 2nd, 2007
Zanna
Say it like you mean it, Wally..there was no exclamation point there.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
Jan 2nd, 2007
Wally Gumboot
Z, It isn’t a very happy new year for me… and no, it’s NOT for the reason you’re thinking.
Jan 2nd, 2007
abby
Are you hungover, Wally? Is there a vowel-replacement YOU really like?
Jan 2nd, 2007
Wally Gumboot
Nope, not hungover. I don’t even drink. My new year started in the toilet.
There is a bright side however. The only place I can go is up… unless someone flushes!
Jan 2nd, 2007
Litelysalted
Holy shit. I thought you were joking about the gum chewing. Nice bleached eyebrows, neck lines and knee chubblies, Brit. My mom has better legs than that, and she’s in her 50’s. Why would you wear a dress like that if A.) You’ve recently been involved with Labiagate 2006, and B.) LEGS??? HELLO??? Gross!
Hello Wally!
Jan 2nd, 2007
Some-1-U-Know
Not the dress to be wearing when you are fat/puffy/ and addicted to gravy cheese fries!
Jan 2nd, 2007
He-Man
I wonder if she’s wearing any underwear in those photos.
Jan 3rd, 2007
Wally Gumboot
Hey Salted.
Jan 3rd, 2007
Mar mar
Nice gams, but uh… that’s less of a dress and more of a shirt. “Black Tie Occasion — No Pants Required”?
Jan 3rd, 2007
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