Kate and Pete Tie the Noose
If you’re at work while you’re reading this, make sure you keep one hand firmly over your mouth to contain the inevitable squeals of excitement: dope fiends Kate Moss and Pete Doherty were married New Year’s Day on the Thai island of Phuket. London’s Daily Mail reports:
At 1.30pm Thai time, the Babyshambles singer and Miss Moss exchanged vows in the picturesque private gardens of their five-bedroomed £4,500-per-night villa at the Amanpuri hotel. Wearing a white Galliano shift dress and her blonde hair loose, Miss Moss looked on adoringly at her groom, who was dressed in an all-black linen suit and his trademark pork pie hat. [The] gardens and villa were decorated with flower petals, fragrant jasmine, orchids and a floral archway. White and pale pink lotus flowers decorated the pool.
It is yet to be confirmed whether the wedding was a Thai Buddist-style ‘marriage blessing’ or a formal legal wedding.
It’s just like a fairy tale, isn’t it? Only, instead of Prince Charming, Cinderella marries an ugly hobbit. And Cinderella herself has a bastard child and a coke problem. And the the pumpkin stage coach is actually a paddy wagon to rehab. The end.
P.S. “Phuket” is the most awesome name for an island ever. Kudos to the hobbit and the seahag on the local.
15 Comments, Comment or Ping
RichPort
I thought the only thing he’d tie would be a belt around his arm. (smack smack smack… stiiiick… aaaaah)
Jan 2nd, 2007
abby
Or a ribbon around his weiner… Merry Christmas!
Jan 2nd, 2007
RichPort
I wonder if he shoots between the toes or has more tracks than an ant colony in the sand. For Kate just two words: damaged goods.
Jan 2nd, 2007
abby
Two more words: Hepatitis C.
Jan 2nd, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Most disgusting wedding EVER, just visualize: the pastiness, the slagginess and the enchanting odors these two will be emitting on their honeymoon.
double. yuck.
Jan 2nd, 2007
abby
And the teeth. You forgot about their teeth.
Jan 2nd, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Oh I didn’t forget, and believe me I keep trying. Let’s just say that like many other fish and chipers Mrs. Moss’ dental situation leaves much to be desired.
Jan 2nd, 2007
abby
I have one of the exlcusive wedding photos right here:
http://intelligence.jrc.cec.eu.int/marine/fish/impast/angler%20fish.jpg
Jan 2nd, 2007
abby
Doesn’t Kate look pretty? She’s all smiles.
Jan 2nd, 2007
RichPort
I dunno Abby, that pic looks more like Kristen Dunst.
Jan 2nd, 2007
Wally Gumboot
“Pork pie hat”. Hee hee!
Jan 2nd, 2007
abby
That sounds like some kinda dirty sex manuever.
Jan 2nd, 2007
Wally Gumboot
Yeeeah, kind of like an “Effiel Tower”
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Eiffel Tower
That link probably won’t work but I have my fingers crossed.
Jan 2nd, 2007
Wally Gumboot
Nope, I didn’t think it would work.
Just click the link, type in “tower” after “eiffel” in the search window, click search and the laughs will ensue.
Jan 2nd, 2007
Some-1-U-Know
I don’t even give this 6 months…they will either be dead or divorced or locked up!
Jan 2nd, 2007
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