Lindsay Lohan Hospitalized
The Firecrotch went to the hospital yesterday to undergo an emergency appendectomy. TMZ reports:
Lindsay was not feeling well and went to the doctor yesterday. The doctor performed several tests and determined that Lindsay was suffering from appendicitis. Doctors asked her to return to the hospital today to remove her appendix as a precaution.
Appendicitis! Oh, that’s a new one. I can think of several more-believable excuses for a Lohan hospitalization. Ten more-believable reasons, in fact. Wait, wait — I feel a top ten list coming on…
TOP TEN REASON THE FIRECROTCH WAS HOSPITALIZED
10. There is such a thing as “too much semen.”
9. Ruptured implant
8. Labial chafing
7. Sunburn
6. Anal-to-mouth e. coli poisoning
5. Car accident
4. Unexplained “weird smell that won’t go away”
3. Herpes outbreak
2. Jizz in your eye really stings
1. Exhaustion
7 Comments, Comment or Ping
BarbadoSlim
Huh, finally went and tried to commit cockicide.
Jan 4th, 2007
abby
I still have the scars from my last attempt at cockicide. You can’t see them, but they’re there.
Jan 4th, 2007
Matthew J.
It wasn’t a headectomy? Damn.
Jan 4th, 2007
Wally Gumboot
Are you sure it wasn’t a ‘spleen-ectomy’??
Jan 4th, 2007
bionic bunny
perhaps a personality transplant?
Jan 4th, 2007
Some-1-U-Know
This girl is in need of some serious help or she will die…I’m a recovering addict and have been through hell and back..I see alot of myself in her right now…the don’t give a shit attitude,and playing God….she looks terrible…very gaunt in the face and extremely puffy..why won’t someone put her in a lock down facility…I guess they just plan on using her or nicole ritchie as the fall guy when one of them dies first…then all you stupid people will start to take notice…its pretty sad that it will take a death of someone to awake all those who are already dead to whats going on here!…you are all pretty sad people….poor excuse of parenting…you know your kids have problems…what the hell is it going to take?…Are you that much in denial?…get a clue….save someone’s life no matter what it takes!
Jan 6th, 2007
oshkoshb'sittingonyourface
I like hospitals. They smell like pee and there’s free medicine laid out on silver tray tables every which way you turn. Oh, and the feeling that death is lingering around you like a dense fog, that is also great.
Jan 7th, 2007
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