Joel Madden Is Hiding Something
It’s nice to see two celebrities with obvious body issues find love together. Skeletor, who is actually looking a bit healthier these days, and Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden spent a little time romancing it up in Hawaii last week. Perhaps you noticed that Joel Madden never took his shirt off in any of these photos. Not one. Not even on the beach. Kinda makes you wonder, doesn’t it? I had a permanently-shirted uncle who sometimes came with us when I was a kid on vacations to Myrtle Beach, and the one time I asked about his shirt, I was brusquely informed that he had a “skin condition” and that I should shut my stupid fucking mouth. Sixteen years later, at my grandmother’s funeral, I finally learned the truth about Uncle Ned: he had been plagued as a child with a rash of “body warts” — clusters of warts that sprung up under his arms and spread across his stomach and chest. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. And despite the disgusting malady, my grandmother still made him go to the pool shirtless and swim with all the other neighborhood kids so he would feel “normal.” And naturally, the neighborhood kids all screamed and paddled frantically away whenever he came near or attempted to play with him. Long story short, Uncle Ned grew up to become a doughy, depressed, thrice-divorced compulsive scab-picker who’s lived in my sister-in-law’s basement for the last six years. So Joel Madden ought to have a bright future waiting for him. Bright, and with a lot of Compound-W and scabs.
More of Nicole and the covert warts after the jump.
20 Comments, Comment or Ping
sonya
Maybe he has manboobs that he keeps strapped down (binding isn’t JUST for lesbians or Yentyl) or really large, pink, soft aereolas. *pukes*
Jan 11th, 2007
sonya
*Yentl* Crazy Yids.
Jan 11th, 2007
oshkoshb'webbedvagina
Large, pink, soft areolas with soft, pink, bulbous warts… like two pink cupcakes sprinkled with pink gummi bears…
Jan 11th, 2007
Walrus Gumboot
She has no breasts to speak of… but at least SHE puts out!!
Jan 11th, 2007
Matthew J.
How someone can put their mouth anywhere near that bug-eyed little monkey-demon, I have no idea. That goes for both of them.
Jan 11th, 2007
nrrvus
Sonya’s right, man boobs, definitely. If he lays on top of her there will be broken ribs, and maybe a ruptured pelvis, hopefully.
Jan 11th, 2007
em
I’m going with “nipples the size of dinner plates”. If anyone else gets that reference, I’ll feel much better.
Jan 11th, 2007
crissy
well at least she has a little more meat on her bones. she doesnt look as gross as she did before.
Jan 11th, 2007
abby
I like “party hats.” You know, sorta cone shaped man boobs with beef tip nipples.
Jan 11th, 2007
bionic bunny
i hope you all know that this thread and your comments are single-handedly starting me back on the bourban.
mr. cuervo will miss me.
seriously, gross, gross, gross!!!
Jan 12th, 2007
Bri
ummmmmmmmmmm i thought this pic was taken in mexico………..hawaii has water a lot bluer than this so ummmmmmmm yeah about the place they’re actually in!!!
Jan 12th, 2007
abby
Some are from Cabo, some are from Hawaii.
Jan 12th, 2007
fatback
Myrtle Beach rox! You can get those t-shirts that are shredded at the bottom with the beads and have it airbrushed with you and your lady in panamajack hats. “2 gether 4 ever” And they can put a big 4x4right on it with a flame job. Hawt. I went to Myrtle Beach High School and I am a white trash surfer hick. “myrtle beach days….”
xoxo
-F.
Jan 12th, 2007
Sara Wilson
Excuse, and what you think concerning forthcoming elections?
Apr 5th, 2007
Timoty
cool blog!
Apr 16th, 2007
punkchick
http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h42/jackie_13200/joel51.jpg
Apr 23rd, 2007
punkchick
you idiots there is nothing wrong with Joels body so what that he didnt take off hes shirt there are pic were hes not wearing a shirt and i think that hes got a good body
some of thesr pics ade old and some of them are new
http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h42/jackie_13200/joel43.jpg
http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h42/jackie_13200/joel12.jpg
http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h42/jackie_13200/Joel/joel151.jpg
http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h42/jackie_13200/Joel/joel56.jpg
http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h42/jackie_13200/Joel/joel52.jpg
http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h42/jackie_13200/Joel/joel42.jpg
Apr 23rd, 2007
stephanie
I think he’s hiding what other girls could be jelous that they dont see in theyre bf’s cuz if u ask me he looks buff not fat so he must be pretty strong
Jun 30th, 2007
stacy
did you ever think the may just not want to take his shirt off
Jul 6th, 2008
Jessica
in the 4th picture you can clearly see D.C.M.A wich is His and Benji’s clothing line so he is probally promoting his clothes! and some guys just dont like to take off there shirts. there are plenty of pics of joel without a shirt on the internet google it!
Aug 10th, 2009
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