Quickies: Six of One
Vanessa William’s weave, or squirrel nest ravaged by a tornado? (MollyGood)
I can’t believe I forgot to mention that Jack Bauer was at the Golden Globes. In a tux. I’ll be needing “24″ hours alone with the picture and my Benwah Balls. (Bumpshack)
Every celebrity nip slip and upskirt from 2006. That’s Pulitzer Prize-winning stuff right there, folks. (CityRag)
A night with Hugh Hefner is all salt-and-pepper pubes and anal sex with 12 different chicks. Sounds like a typical evening at my MENSA meetings. (Metadish)
Salma Hayek’s boobs make an appearance at the Golden Globes. (Popoholic)
Brangelina move into the Big Easy. (Seriously? OMG)
I want to apologize to you guys for the late posts these past few days. Part of my court-ordered probation included anger management courses, and seeing as how I don’t have a “job” per se (I don’t report the income I make selling meth to gays at raves), they stuck me in the early afternoon anger management classes. Anyway, today’s class completed the seven-day course, so from tomorrow on, you can expect on-time mindless crap to divert you from the drudgery of your cubicle. That whole arrest was bullshit. You spit at a police officer one time and chuck some napkins at his car windows and you suddenly have “rage issues” and “a misdemeanor.” Styles P and I live hard, baby. Live and die by the napkin, straight up. You know, it’s hard out there for a pimp.
5 Comments, Comment or Ping
Walrus Gumboot
I don’t think I believe the allegations against Hef and his girls. I do however, know that I have loved everyone of Hefs playmates since I came of age… except that ugly one in Feb of ‘77 issue.
Salma Hayek is one smoldering piece of ass, boobs and all.
Abby, I’m glad you’re back to full capacity.
Jan 16th, 2007
One Legged Turkish Prostitute with boils
I was ugly one in 77′, used profits to make weave from pigeons fur and cocker spaniel, I look just like Ronald McDonard said my pimp, Frangelico. He makes my eyes puffy-bleeding with fists of black American fury! USA!
Jan 16th, 2007
bionic bunny
hey, gumbo is “boils” ^ who i think it is????
and who was feb 77? i always got my dad his yearly playboy subscription, so am just wondering if i remember it.
(old farts rule!)
Jan 17th, 2007
Walrus Gumboot
Buns, I messaged you my reply to the “boils” quandry!
That Feb ‘77 Playboy thing is a hoax… It was just a month and a year I made up. Everyone of those Playmates was / is foine (as the kids say)
Old farts do rule!
Jan 17th, 2007
oshkoshb'turkishprostitute
It was me. Ha ha ha. How late did you stay up trying to crack that conundrum? 4? 5? Or did you stay up all night tearing out your hair and crying, writing down possible solutions on graphing paper, coming to no reasonable ends like some kind of DaVinci Code nightmare? Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha h a h ah ah ah aha ha h aha ha ha h a!!! Sucka!
Jan 17th, 2007
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