Lindsay Lohan Enters Rehab

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An attention-starved Lindsay Lohan checked herself into Wonderland Rehab Center yesterday afternoon, prompted by a bender that left her unconscious earlier in the week. Page Six reports,

Lohan didn’t attend the [Golden Globes], but went to the parties later and wound up at Prince’s after-after party at the Beverly Wilshire. Witnesses say she caroused until 6 a.m. Tuesday and was later found passed out in a hotel hallway. Lohan’s publicist, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, released a statement yesterday from the actress: “I have made a proactive decision to take care of my personal health. I appreciate your well wishes and ask that you please respect my privacy at this time.”

This sounds a little too familiar. You know, like conspicuously wearing an AA chip, but then guzzling vodka out of water bottles a week later. If she wants attention that badly, she should start having sex with a lot of different guys, or consider showing her nipples a lot. Or maybe flash her puss and box and jog outdoors in a bikini. Oh… but she’s already tried all that, hasn’t she? Okay, then — she could masturbate with a crucifix in the middle of a flaming pentagram. Maybe push a couple of blind kids in wheelchairs off a cliff. Negative attention is still attention, you know.

More of Lohan looking fucked-up Saturday night after the jump.

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Page Six

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11 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. SomebodyMaybe

    That story is too close to home to comment on.

  2. abby

    The “masturbating with a crucifix” part? Yeah, who hasn’t done that at some point in their life.

  3. Butch

    Why do they always gotta make an announcement through their publicist that they are doing something but “want privacy.” Hello if you want privacy why are you announcing it…just go fucking do it.

  4. SomebodyMaybe

    Editor: Yeah = Yeeeah… right? :)

  5. oshkoshb'spanishdonkey

    I think it’s appropriate that she is making a Proactive decision.

  6. abby

    Retroactive decisions are SO last season.

  7. SomebodyMaybe- We know it’s you, and we don’t like you, FUCK OFF………

    Lindsay looks like she needs some drugs STAT. Detox sucks, fucking quitter……………

  8. oshkoshb'spanishdonkey

    Maybe that should be the new line of skincare products, “Retroactive”. It could feature a bunch of retro TV stars with acne. I can’t think of any right now but when I do I’ll let you know. We’ll make millions, baby!

  9. Sannasannasannasanna

    She should drink a bottle of vodka, throw it up and drink her vomit. Then throw it up and drink again. Reply x 10.

  10. alcohol? rehab? what is this, 5th grade? lets grow up and get gang banged already, lindsey

  11. RichPort

    One time, in band camp, …

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