Britney Spears, Lover of Words
Britney Spears made a quick stop into a convenience store last night for some Vagisil and powdered doughnuts (well, I don’t know that for sure, because I couldn’t see inside her bag, but it seems about right) and spent a few moments perusing the Wall Street Journal before checking out. Wait, did I say Wall Street Journal? Because I meant Us Weekly. She stood there, with the very same tabloid she tearfully proclaimed to be “trash” in that finger-quote-laden interview with Matt Lauer last year, and read up on her whirlwind romance with the artfully-bearded Isaac Cohen. And that right there, people, is why I devote my days to this line of work. Blogging, I mean. You see, the celebrities do care what is said about them; they do read the gossip blogs; and by God, if I can make Paris Hilton insecure enough to fix her wonky eye or Britney Spears sob her way through a yeast infection and box of Dunkin Doughnuts, then I’ve accomplished what I’ve set out to do. It’s good, honest work, much like cabinet-making or being a farmer. Or maybe it’s more like being a one-legged Turkish prostitute with boils. I vaguely remember hearing something about that. Well, anyway, it pays the bills.
7 Comments, Comment or Ping
BarbadoSlim
I doubt she can actually read, she’s just looking at the puuuurty pictures…
Jan 19th, 2007
oshkoshb'boneitlikeyouownit
Britney Spears, hobo of homeless.
Jan 19th, 2007
Italian Stallion
She’s so fucking stupid, she probably thought the guy she’s dating now was cheating on her because of the front page………….
Jan 19th, 2007
abby
Boy, she could do a Vidal Sassoon commercial with that luscious mane of hair she’s got there.
P.S. Nice jacket. One time I ate a whole bag of jellybeans and bounced around on a trampoline until I barfed, and all the assorted colors made a lovely kalidescope pattern, just like on Britney’s coat.
Jan 20th, 2007
bionic bunny
abby, me, too!!! only i was preggers and on the pirates of the caribbean.
somebody, please send me some dunkin’ donuts. they’re all gone here. *sniff*. krespy kremes suck, so we don’t have them anymore, either.
oshie, pass the blunt, please.
Jan 20th, 2007
oshkoshb'boneitlikeyouownit
All I have is PCP and whippets. Hope that’s cool…
Jan 20th, 2007
oshkoshb'boneitlikeyouownit
I just realized who Britney looks like in that picture: Jerry Garcia.
Jan 20th, 2007
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