Paris Wants to Fix Her Wonky Eye
Celebutant Paris Hilton has finally decided to do something about her notoriously wonky left eye. Page Six explains,
According to a Beverly Hills source, Hilton stopped by a plastic surgeon’s office earlier this week, seeking to “fix her drooping left eyelid.” Our insider says Paris had hush-hush surgery six years ago to lift her lids. The muscles of her left eye were supposedly damaged as a result, “causing it to droop more than the right” - a look that was once parodied on “South Park.”
And also parodied mercilessly on this site. Honestly, I’m surprised she hasn’t tried to correct that eye sooner. Paris spends two-thirds of her waking hours admiring herself in a mirror — in between giggling vapidly at firecrotch jokes and getting porked, of course — and I imagine eight solid hours of narcissism a day would make the wonky eye all too apparent. And then there’s the “wonk-wonk, wonk-wonk” sound I kept murmuring under my breath while following her around that one night at Hyde. It actually made her cry. It was really funny, because her right eye cried harder than her left one. I laughed and pointed and everything. Lazy eyes are a real scream!
14 Comments, Comment or Ping
BarbadoSlim
Hopefully, the doctors will fix humanity’s problem and remove ALL of her from the world.
Jan 19th, 2007
abby
Fun Fact: You can get herpes in your eyes, as they are mucous memebranes. Same goes for mouth, nose, and anus. So don’t go skull-fucking Paris Hilton, Slim!
Jan 19th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
hehehehe, I wouldn’t get anywhere near this bitch, unless it was to finally put her out of my misery.
Jan 19th, 2007
White Boy
I’d like to fix her brown eye.
Jan 19th, 2007
leash
no wai!
Jan 19th, 2007
sonya
Here’s hoping that they REALLY screw up, make the knife slip and cut her jugular.
Jan 19th, 2007
steph
will she sort out the nose and lips too?
Jan 19th, 2007
Butch
Ha ha I love the fact that you finally wore her down with all your wonk eye stories. Now that you have made her totally self-conscious about that fatal flaw, you need to move on to another one. I vote for that odd bulbous extension at the end of her nose…the one that practically touches her top lip. She can totally touch that tongue to that nose. Magical!
Jan 19th, 2007
oshkoshb'RIPwalrusgumboot
I think she should get it more wonkied. And then maybe get her pussy wonkied, and pulled seven inches to the left.
Jan 19th, 2007
Italian Stallion
I’ve never seen that picture. That shit is hilarious.
P.S. Her perfume gives you the same eye………….
Jan 19th, 2007
abby
Her nose reminds me of a soft ballsac. Alson, the goon from Popeye.
Jan 19th, 2007
bionic bunny
ahem. stallion, m’ luv, you didn’t actually have to BUY that shit! trust me. mama likes gift certificates too (just kidding, sweetie).
and i have to stick up her for WES (wonky eye syndrome). my beloved has an eye that reacts to MANY different things. you can’t believe the grief he got the first months we were married!
i admit it gets a little confusing at times, but i wouldn’t trade him.
oh, yeah. he also snores.
but ladies, he ALWAYS puts the seat down!!!
Jan 20th, 2007
Austin
’bout time she noticed that shit. Now, how long will it take her to realize that everyone thinks she’s a huge joke? Why anyone ever thought this disease-ridden bag of antlers was sexy is beyond me.
Jan 21st, 2007
angelina zarkova
my left eye is wonky naturally.
if a close my right one, i can`t read with my left eye only.
maybe paris has the same problem.
are you sure about the surgery?
it`s not my fault about my eye,
what can i do?
i cry about it, but i can`t change anything
Feb 28th, 2007
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