Jessica Simpson Officially Ugly
Mark your calendars, folks. Today is the day that floundering pop star Jessica Simpson became “officially ugly.” Well, to be technical, it was actually on Friday, but for holiday purposes, we’ll denote Monday so that the three-day weekend will fall at the beginning of the week, which is always better. Anyway, she and some friends headed to Hahm’s Healing Hands massage in West Hollywood for a little beauty “R & R.” I can only hope that “R & R” stands for “Replacing those sausages with actual lips” and “Ripping out those shitty hair extensions.” Or “Re-inventing herself” and “RGoing away for a really long time into a lair with other bloated fish-lipped trolls to watch “Newlyweds” reruns and Dane Cook’s stand-up comedy for hours at a time, much like Chinese water torture.” Although that last one doesn’t technically begin with the letter “R,” it probably does in Chinese, so it still counts.
One more shot of the officially ugly after the jump. You might want to show it to your boss and see about getting off for the rest of the day. Warn him or her first.
23 Comments, Comment or Ping
RichPort
Jumping jellybean popping Jesus! I thought that was Kate Moss on a bad hair day…
Jan 22nd, 2007
Bank Locater
You are officially smoking crack.
Jan 22nd, 2007
BarbadoSlim
My McAFee uglyskank blocker just went crazy.
Jan 22nd, 2007
Sorceressss
She’s turning into Brittney!
Jan 22nd, 2007
Italian Stallion
If only they could make those sunglasses bigger to cover the whole face…………
Jan 22nd, 2007
Matthew J.
How is it possible for someone to be so stupid that she looks so fugly while being so hot? Man, that takes Sam’s Club-size stupidity, right there.
Jan 22nd, 2007
sonya
Daddy still thinks she’s smoking hot, and he luuuuuuvs the extra plumpness in Jessie’s wet smacker.
Jan 22nd, 2007
abby
I thought she renounced restalyne in Glamour a few months back. And she should fire that little shrew of a hair stylist Ken Paves. Her hair looks like absolute shit. Like Britney Spears did it for her.
Jan 22nd, 2007
alexis
Jessica is so totally gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan 22nd, 2007
Dragulf
Her friends are a lot hotter than she ever was. Even her sister is more bangable. Her next step would be public porn (for sale) as opposed to the private stuff with her daddy!
Jan 22nd, 2007
amy
i actually think she looks better than some pictures i’ve seen of her recently. it’s sad to think that this is an improvement, but in my opinion, it is. at least she’s not wearing that gosh awful red lipstick. that makes her look so horrible, especially when it’s the only make-up she’s wearing. gah.
Jan 22nd, 2007
oshkoshb'boneitlikeyouownit
In the first picture the only thing that could possibly be right as a caption is, “Oh, my lands!”
Jan 22nd, 2007
zorba
Sorry, but she is beautiful. A realy pretty lady.
Jan 23rd, 2007
drulius
Not nuts about the giant glasses, but c’mon, she’s still a good-looking girl. Why try to kick her when she’s down?
Jan 23rd, 2007
Irock
Your off your nut… girl cant sing for shit but she is smokin assed hot no matter what you say…
Jan 23rd, 2007
KnowITall
Ummm? R u looking @ the same girl I am? It’s not the best day for her but she is not UGLY! I wonder how u look. She cant walk out of her house everyday looking glamour’s and beautiful. This is why young girls have problems with their self. BODY IMAGES! Because when a woman looks normal or not fab-ed out they are called ugly. Thank you for making the 12 yearold girl who read this go slab on pounds of makeup and stick her finger down her throat over her royal toliet. This makes me sick!
Feb 4th, 2007
mary
to be honest i think jessica simpson is rele pretty!! and i think tht everyone who has said shes ugly is jus fuckin jelous!!!!
Mar 12th, 2007
dude
Jessica Simpson has never been ‘hot’ ‘pretty’ or any other terms for beauty. Shes always been FUGLY. her giant ape lips, fat chin and her overall masculine jawline is a complete turn-off. Need i get started on those dopey moon-sized eyes?
Dec 13th, 2007
dnaiel
yay she is ugly, all this time i thought i was the only one
Apr 18th, 2008
YourMom
I’ve seen waaaaay uglier pictures of Jessica Simpson than this. You can’t even see her face here. Here hair doesn’t look that bad here either so… But yeah, I do think she’s really friggin ugly. She reminds me of a rabbit (cuz of the buck teeth) with one of those big fake noses glued onto it (because she has a big nose with a bump in it) And, even though they may be big and real, her boobs look like two tube socks with rocks in them… The end
May 1st, 2008
what
what?! she looks amazing. what is wrong with you people? I don’t get it!…whatever…..
May 27th, 2008
fhdhuhyjudi
”why kick her when she’s down?”
cause f**k her. she’s ugly and makes music just for money. a three year old can come up with better lyrics and songs. wtf. ugly b****! stupid white, blond singers making it big because they can barely sing. lindsay lohan miley cirus (or however you spell it) and paris hilton for christs sake… they suck.
Aug 8th, 2008
fhdhuhyjudi
the only people that think she’s pretty are either uglier girls, or guys who have ugly ass girlfriends. she looks extremely ugly in that one video I Belong To Me or whatever its called. the lyrics suck too. she and her sister suck. they all suck. new pop sucks. i’m getting sick of seing skinny white girls all over hollywood. when is Thick gonna be in? those girls are way more attractive. now i dont mean obesively fat… just thick.
Aug 8th, 2008
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