Rihanna in a Leotard

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A little secret for the cranially-endowed: a clever way to distract from your giant forehead is a little something known as “spread eagle in a leotard.” Works like a charm. Some people try bangs, or low-brimmed hats, but I’ve found that “bending over in a what appears to be a bathing suit” tends to do the job better. Just look at these pictures of Rihanna performing at the Cardiff International Theater last week. Did you notice her forehead? No, you didn’t. Don’t lie. You were looking at her crotch. And therein lies the trompe l’oeil of the “leotard spread eagle bending over stance” : the eye is tricked downward to the posterior region and visually dismisses the anterior three feet of forehead. It’s basically science. Complicated stuff. Oh, and people really like “possibly seeing vaginas,” so that always helps, too.

More Rihanna leotard stances after the jump.

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15 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. mackenzie

    am I think only one that thinks she has really really awful legs? and no ass? seriously, she needs to go to the gym. GET SOME MUSCLE.

  2. cruising4c@work

    I’ve been told for years that I have a five-head. Now, thanks to YEEEAH, I have a solution. God Bless you!

  3. abby

    I’m just here to help. That’s all. You can call me “The Answer Lady,” Cruisin. Or you could call me “Chesty LaRue.” Whatever you’re more comfortable with.

  4. She talks with dolphins with that forehead! And she has No ASS! Is the black sprayed on? Every black girl I know has at least a little bit of an ass!

  5. sonya

    mackenzie, that is EXACTLY what I was going to say. For being a black girl, she has an awfully flat ass. No curve at all.

  6. sonya

    P.S. I love the word leotard. How many words in the English language contain the word tard?.

  7. abby

    Fucktard. That’s a good one, too.

  8. bionic bunny

    abby, that’s my personal favorite, too.

    i learned it on the gossip blogs. see mom? i’m NOT wasting my life!!

  9. some guy

    huh. for a second there, I though the article would be about David Lee Roth touring with van halen again. I was wrong.

  10. She shouldn’t hold her arms up that high, she has some hairy pits………..

  11. leash

    i wish she would stop flashing her cooch.
    she really thrusts it right out there for us all to see.

  12. menjivar

    man fuk all ya rihanna hater

  13. `trika

    i agreeshe needs to stop flashin it all out but fa get youll haters she iz da bes youll mad cuz youll cant beat her

  14. redz

    hey all yall fucken haters out there are just jelous so get off this site and go suck your own cock or pussy.

  15. Drew

    wow to the first pic:D…is the black sprayed on? hahaha good one DRAGULF

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