Dancing with the One-Legged Stars
If you thought “Dancing with the Stars” couldn’t possibly get any lamer, think again. The former Heather Mills McCartney is set to “get a leg up” on ABC’s televised dance competition. The Post-Chronicle reports:
Heather, who had her left leg amputated below the knee after being hit by a motorbike in 1993, will be learning to salsa and cha-cha later this year and plans to donate her appearance fee to animal charity Viva. A source [revealed]: “She has never been stifled by her disability. She is a great skier and a superb dancer.”
That’s like getting Lance Armstrong to compete in that “Free Ball” competition they hold at Old Dominion University in the fall. You know, the one where you drop your balls into a beaker and measure the amount of water they displace. It’s very scientific. There’s a formula and everything. And lots of guys need to know the volume and surface area of their ballsac, for things like “job applications” and “blind dates.” I guess I just don’t see how Heather Mills could ever win with only one leg. And no balls.
11 Comments, Comment or Ping
Flea
Leave it to Old Dirty to have a ball competition.
Feb 13th, 2007
sonya
I bet she’s AWESOME at pole dancing.
Feb 13th, 2007
abby
Over Dose University.
Feb 13th, 2007
KJizzle
She is beautiful… you only wish u could be herrr
Feb 14th, 2007
RichPort
She looks like a giant Y in bed. I know I said that months ago, but it bears repeating. Damn you coffee!! Kick in!!!
Feb 14th, 2007
sonya
Actually, I don’t want to be a German man (Herr?)
Feb 14th, 2007
Phil
KJizzle, you only wish you could be an attractive fraulein.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fr%C3%A4ulein
Feb 14th, 2007
LMW
What has this gold digger ever done to become a star? Soft porn and a marriage to rock royalty do not a celebrity make.
Geez, I can see the line up for next season, the Porn Guy form all the reality shows and Ivanaka “Don’t call me Paris…my Daddy gave me a job and a house” Trump.
I hope they vote Mills out on her butt the first show, al la Tucker. We have enough fake celebs. in the US. Why import more?
Feb 14th, 2007
bionic bunny
she could walk away a winner if they do a good old fashioned hornpipe… you almost HAVE to have a peg-leg to pull that off.
*please note the use of the phrases “walk away” and “pull that off”. completely unintentional, but it made my comment punnier, don’tcha think?
again, sorry.
Feb 14th, 2007
LaLa
Lets hope for the lindy hop, people.
Mar 19th, 2007
smitty humphrey
you a great job, thouhgt you should have won. you are the best dancer there , good luck
Mar 21st, 2007
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