Howard K. Stern Has a Vagina
Tags: howard stern
How ironic is it that a woman scorned for marrying her sugar daddy ended up becoming a sugar daddy herself? Howard K. Stern admitted to the courts yesterday that he had been completely financially dependent on the late Anna Nicole Smith for the better part of a decade. People magazine reveals:
Stern, 38, told Florida Circuit Judge Larry Seidlin that he’d had no income outside of his association with Smith since 2002. Stern admitted that Smith paid the $950 rent on his apartment and that she gave him cash to buy personal items. “I was with Anna. My income was with her. Anna paid my rent. Everything that I did for her legally I didn’t charge her for.”
Stern, who is named executor of Smith’s estate in her 2001 will, said he would waive any fee he might be entitled to for his work in that role. He also admitted that… he was entitled to about 5 percent of any money she was awarded [in the continuing litigation over the estate of her late billionaire husband], meaning he could net $5 million.
There are only three types of people that seek out sugar daddies: people with vaginas; gay men; and gay men with vaginas. You decide into which category our Howard belongs. Why exclusively vaginas? For one, it’s always sugar DADDY. As in “daddy’s little girl.” Not “Daddy’s grown-ass man.” And two, you couldn’t possibly get any less manly than mooching off a woman for seven years. It’s the metaphorical equivalent of cutting off your balls and listening to Justin Timberlake albums in a Speedo. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Howard sauntered off the stand tomorrow in a pair of ladies’ pumps and a mink stole. All courtesy of Anna Nicole’s pocketbook, of course.
17 Comments, Comment or Ping
RichPort
Are you automatically an idiot if your name is Howard Stern? If so, I’d like to legally change a few dozen people’s names.
Feb 22nd, 2007
abby
“Howard Stern” is actually derived from the Hebrew “hawah staviah,” meaning “Giant douchebag.”
Feb 22nd, 2007
RichPort
HAHASHAHAHAHAHAHASHHAHAHAHAHA! That was funny enough to throw a few subliminal weed references in there…
I know it’s fucking morbid, but hearing the coroner describe how her corpse’s shelf life is about to expire made me chuckle.
Feb 22nd, 2007
Tine
I hate that we have to look at Howard K. Stern everyday now. He looks like a terradactyl.
Feb 22nd, 2007
Butch
Howard K. Stern does not have a vagina. He IS a vagina. He is a mean little cunt.
Feb 22nd, 2007
DesertCat
Howard K. Stern is a LEECH, pure and simple. The best thing for everyone concerned would be for him to be hit by a bus… preferably very, very soon.
Feb 22nd, 2007
bionic bunny
i loved his cheshire cat grin while the attorney was questioning him. i just wanted to kick all his naughty bits into the next hemispere.
and, rich, honey, if you think THAT was morbid, mr. buns and i were “discussing” (okay, laughing our asses off) this whole thing last night.
the coroner says her body, even though inbalmed, was deteriorating rapidly.
i thought silicone didn’t deterioate? that being one of the problems?
so why didn’t they just slap one of those puppies on a gravestone of each parties’ choice and then cremate her????
forgive the spelling tonight today, guys. we just lost a jr. mr. buns and i’m not thinking right.
Feb 23rd, 2007
Lisa
Howard K. Stern is probably as gay as all get out. Stern is not the biological father of the baby, but he probably wants to play “mommy” to the billion $ bundle. Commitment ceremony? ANS should have been committed to the drug and nut ward and Stern should have been committed to jail. My theory is ANS had in vitro fertilization of a clone of her son Daniel or she was artifically inseminated with sperm donated by her deceased husband, J. Howartd Marshall. In either case, Stern knew it and knew it would be very difficult to prove who the daddy is. Stern felt like he deserved more credit than ANS gave him. Daniel wasn’t a child anymore so the provisions of ANS’s will that Stern be guardian over Daniel no longer had a effect because Daniel was getting ready to turn 21 in January of 2007. Therefore Stern off’ed Daniel, then he tried to convince ANS to re-do her will but she figured out what really happened to Daniel, refuseed to re-do her will and was gettiing ready to spill the beans on Stern so he had to kill her also. Stern knew no matter how many men claimed to be the bio dad, none of them could prove it and he would have control as long as he doesn’t have to take a DNA test under Bahama law. I think Stern and Rale were probably lovers and partners, Rale is really Stern’s “alter ego” just as the judge said. Birkhead is Stern’s friend, planted in this scheme b/c there had to be a reason for Stern to get ANS to the Bahamas to begin with. Birkhead and Stern are in cahoots. As long as Stern controls the baby and no dead people will be tested for DNA, and cause of death of ANS and Daniel are not homocide, drag queen b—- Stern gets away with it. Stern is too evil to have a vagina.
Feb 24th, 2007
Monika
How can this guy be present at two mysterious deaths within six (6) months of each other and not be under suspicion/investigation by the “authorities” of the USA or the Bahamas??
How can this man continue to stay in a house that is not his, with a baby that is not his, and in a COUNTRY that is not his?
Where are his past lovers (male or female or both) why have they not come forward to “stand up for him” ? Where are his past friends? It seems he sort of arrived in 1996 with no past and wormed his way into Anna’s life.
He is a mooch, a liar, a freeloader, and a loser. When will someone take charge and bring him to his proverbial knees and send him packing?
He needs to get deported from the Bahamas ASAP. As her attorney, he did not properly administer her Will. The Will is a joke. All of the legal manuvering in Florida did not have to happen but it did because of HKS who presented such a poorly written Will.
This guy is a POS. Is he gay? That would explain Birkhead’s answer to the reporter’s question last week in Fla: “How do you know HKS is not the father?” Birkhead lifted the corner of his mouth, grinned and answered: “There is only one way to make a baby” !!!!! WTF??? That comment says a lot!! Yes, indeed HKS must have a vagina I agree.
Mar 5th, 2007
howard blows
he looks gay
Mar 15th, 2007
Gary Helm
Well, the fact that Howard took Anna Nicole to gay bars and no one ever saw them do anything intimate — you think Howard K. Stern is gay? Daaaah!
Mar 20th, 2007
SQUIRMIE
HOWARD DOES HAVE A DICK. BUT IT’S ONLY 2 INCHES LONG..
Mar 23rd, 2007
Navmom
I can’t believe how people talk about Howard, he’s lost so much now. Just because he was in the background doesn’t mean he is a bad person. Anna was the one who wanted him around. Besides, how many men are stay at home men while the wife is the one who works outside the home? Anna was the one who ran the show, so it looks like she was happy with the set up…..I feel bad for the guy.
Apr 13th, 2007
Know he is guilty
From the time Anna died I thought something was fishy with he in this Burkhead guy. It just came out that they MAY be lovers or had a sexual affair. I bet they drugged her up and implanted the sperm with a baster or something. It is all going to come out. Howard and Larry should be investigated (e.g. internet records, calls, associates, past relationships)…. Something VERY fishy…. Danny, Anna…months apart…..
Sep 9th, 2007
binky
could this whole anna nicole thing get any more twisted and
bizarre? it figures ol’ howie is gay ~ the guy is absolutely
CREEPY! now it all makes sense. EEWWW!!!
Sep 17th, 2007
Kelly Anne
Howard K. Stern was Anna Nicole’s business/life partner.He was manager and lawyer, and he helped her to negotiate contracts.Lawyers and managers get paid for their work.Your comment is stupid and vulgar.
Oct 14th, 2008
david
dirty stinkin clit head
Feb 21st, 2009
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