Kevin Federline may be going to court today in an effort to secure emergency custody of the children from Britney Spears, but at least she’ll always have her perfume line. MSNBC reports:

Sales of Spears’ fragrances have — not surprisingly — taken a hit recently. Spears’ first perfume was a top-seller when it was introduced in 2004 and her scents were her primary source of income for the last few years. Sales over the holiday were “weak” and that there is concern about future sales. A former employee [revealed] that the star has been “burning through money,” as she has not put out a new album, toured or nabbed new endorsement deals in years.

Well, that’s because the perfume is a fraud. Britney Spears doesn’t smell like cotton candy. She smells like tequila and cigarette sweat and old bologna. If she wanted to make some real money, she could collect a little of her “essence” and market it as man-repellent. You know, to ward off unsolicited advances and keep that fat guy from sitting next to you on the bus. Or maybe market it to grifters as the “final note of authenticity” for masquerading as a hobo. She’s just not exploring her options thoroughly. There’s a real market out there for the stink of failure.

UPDATE: The emergency hearing has been postponed to accommodate Britney’s Spears’ THIRD visit to rehab. According to TMZ, she checked into rehab this morning and will remain there for the next 30-45 days.

Related Stories

• No Related Stories