People Still Convinced Scarlett Johansson is Sexy

Somehow, people keep buying into the idea that actress Scarlett Johansson is sexy. London’s The Sun reports:
Scarlett Johansson has topped Playboy’s annual 25 Sexiest Celebrities list. The magazine writes: “Scarlett Johansson is the apex of beauty and sensuality – from her porcelain skin to her fully feminine figure to her mysterious charisma, which is at once palpable and indefinable.”
I’m guessing that a gay eighteenth-century feudal lord wrote the above statement. It’s all flowery and unbelievable. So I polled several self-proclaimed Playboy enthusiasts on my own to discover why Scarlett was awarded the title of “Sexiest Celebrity of 2007.” Of course, not one of them mentioned her “indefinable charisma” or “porcelain skin.” In fact, nine out of every ten men surveyed simply stated, “I like them big ol’ fat titties.” Several also inquired if “apex” was synonymous with “doing it in the butt.”
Please make sure to properly annotate when implementing this data in your theses — I’m a stickler for footnotes.
More of the apex of beauty collecting Havard’s “Hasty Pudding Award” after the jump.






23 Comments, Comment or Ping
RichPort
I’m still convinced I want her to give me head in my car between shoots. I don’t think that has anything to do with the topic posted…
Feb 22nd, 2007
abby
I’m still convinced she’s part pig. Something about that nose.
Feb 22nd, 2007
RichPort
I’ll put a trough on my lap and let you know. I’d still like to b-oink her.
Feb 22nd, 2007
LadyJane
She’th vewwy vewwy pwetty.
Feb 22nd, 2007
Tine
I think the ladies next to her are prettier.
Feb 22nd, 2007
Scarlett'sADork
Piggish. OVER-rated. Same facial expression for every dramatic emotion. BORING.
Feb 22nd, 2007
Nooken
I certainly don’t want to talk to her but I would have “apex” with her in a heartbeat. She is very pleasing on the eyes.
Feb 22nd, 2007
LoveHouse Radio
Why is she lissing ashes? Didn’t she know it was asses, not ashes!!
Feb 22nd, 2007
Jason
This post was obviously written by a woman.
Feb 22nd, 2007
Phil
You’re right Jason, and I can tell you that the woman who wrote this post is way hotter than Scarlett Johansson.
Feb 22nd, 2007
Dragulf
I agree. Abby is a lot hotter than that nasty pig Scarlet. Scarlet = red. Hit by bus red.
Feb 22nd, 2007
BarbadoSlim
“mysterious charisma, which is at once palpable and indefinable.” This is at once faggoty and gay as hell.
Feb 22nd, 2007
bionic bunny
thank you, phil… you saved me some typing there.
i just have to say that i am so straight i can’t drive on mountain roads.
but i sincerely find charlize theron and catherine zeta jones really, really hot. i never got the johanson thing. matter of fact, i didn’t even understand the movie that made her a big star, and i love bill murray.
here’s where i would put a few eddie izzard quotes, but i can’t spell ANYTHING in french.
damn it, what was the name of that move????
Feb 23rd, 2007
En10sity
“Lost in Translation” … was that it? And i don’t find her attractive either…especially when she walks like a damn penguin.
Feb 23rd, 2007
MadMan
I hated that movie too. She is NOTHING compared to some of the women I see daily.
Feb 23rd, 2007
judithjetson
Whether or not she may be “attractive” is debatable, but she sure is a SH*TTY actress! God, she’s horrible in EVERY movie I’ve seen her in recently. And Lost in Translation was the most overrated movie in the last few years. BORRRR-INNNGGGG!
Feb 23rd, 2007
MadMan
I so agree judithjenson… It sucked balls! And she is horribly plain and overrated.
Feb 23rd, 2007
yourmom
Not enough guns or car chases?
Feb 26th, 2007
jonathon
Perhaps one of the most naturally beautifully divas of our modern era. Will go on to be one of the biggest pin-up role models of our time.
For the rest of you;
Jealousy = Fear; Fear is the Mindkiller!!!
Feb 27th, 2007
SomeGirl
^ Agreed. She’s real, and that’s what’s attractive in her. She seems like a genuine person, with a lovely “old hollywood” vibe.
Apr 4th, 2007
D.Bauchery
Oh pleeease. SO OVERRATED. She has one expression. Furrowed brow, lips slightly parted just waiting for somebody to say, “Drop jaw, insert cock.” She is about 3 years away from Fatty McAss status. Those fantastical orbs will be at her belly button by the 2010. SHe is also an asshole.
Apr 10th, 2007
scarwhore
scarjo is way overrated
she got no talent and speaks like a drag queen
tries too hard to be sexy and apparently attention seeker *sucks*
one sex partner is unnatural?? such a little stupid whore!
i just don’t get it why people consider her such a great beauty?
she is just plain and boring!!
even paris hilton is way hotter than her
May 2nd, 2007
Omar Strejcek
Scarlett Johansson bikini video online !!
http://scarlett–johansson-x.blogspot.com/?id=54189229&s=y
really sexy!!!
Oct 5th, 2009
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