People Still Convinced Scarlett Johansson is Sexy

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Somehow, people keep buying into the idea that actress Scarlett Johansson is sexy. London’s The Sun reports:

Scarlett Johansson has topped Playboy’s annual 25 Sexiest Celebrities list. The magazine writes: “Scarlett Johansson is the apex of beauty and sensuality – from her porcelain skin to her fully feminine figure to her mysterious charisma, which is at once palpable and indefinable.”

I’m guessing that a gay eighteenth-century feudal lord wrote the above statement. It’s all flowery and unbelievable. So I polled several self-proclaimed Playboy enthusiasts on my own to discover why Scarlett was awarded the title of “Sexiest Celebrity of 2007.” Of course, not one of them mentioned her “indefinable charisma” or “porcelain skin.” In fact, nine out of every ten men surveyed simply stated, “I like them big ol’ fat titties.” Several also inquired if “apex” was synonymous with “doing it in the butt.”

Please make sure to properly annotate when implementing this data in your theses — I’m a stickler for footnotes.

More of the apex of beauty collecting Havard’s “Hasty Pudding Award” after the jump.

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23 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. RichPort

    I’m still convinced I want her to give me head in my car between shoots. I don’t think that has anything to do with the topic posted…

  2. abby

    I’m still convinced she’s part pig. Something about that nose.

  3. RichPort

    I’ll put a trough on my lap and let you know. I’d still like to b-oink her.

  4. LadyJane

    She’th vewwy vewwy pwetty.

  5. Tine

    I think the ladies next to her are prettier.

  6. Scarlett'sADork

    Piggish. OVER-rated. Same facial expression for every dramatic emotion. BORING.

  7. Nooken

    I certainly don’t want to talk to her but I would have “apex” with her in a heartbeat. She is very pleasing on the eyes.

  8. Why is she lissing ashes? Didn’t she know it was asses, not ashes!!

  9. Jason

    This post was obviously written by a woman.

  10. You’re right Jason, and I can tell you that the woman who wrote this post is way hotter than Scarlett Johansson.

  11. I agree. Abby is a lot hotter than that nasty pig Scarlet. Scarlet = red. Hit by bus red.

  12. BarbadoSlim

    “mysterious charisma, which is at once palpable and indefinable.” This is at once faggoty and gay as hell.

  13. bionic bunny

    thank you, phil… you saved me some typing there.

    i just have to say that i am so straight i can’t drive on mountain roads.
    but i sincerely find charlize theron and catherine zeta jones really, really hot. i never got the johanson thing. matter of fact, i didn’t even understand the movie that made her a big star, and i love bill murray.

    here’s where i would put a few eddie izzard quotes, but i can’t spell ANYTHING in french.

    damn it, what was the name of that move????

  14. En10sity

    “Lost in Translation” … was that it? And i don’t find her attractive either…especially when she walks like a damn penguin.

  15. MadMan

    I hated that movie too. She is NOTHING compared to some of the women I see daily.

  16. judithjetson

    Whether or not she may be “attractive” is debatable, but she sure is a SH*TTY actress! God, she’s horrible in EVERY movie I’ve seen her in recently. And Lost in Translation was the most overrated movie in the last few years. BORRRR-INNNGGGG!

  17. MadMan

    I so agree judithjenson… It sucked balls! And she is horribly plain and overrated.

  18. yourmom

    Not enough guns or car chases?

  19. jonathon

    Perhaps one of the most naturally beautifully divas of our modern era. Will go on to be one of the biggest pin-up role models of our time.

    For the rest of you;
    Jealousy = Fear; Fear is the Mindkiller!!!

  20. SomeGirl

    ^ Agreed. She’s real, and that’s what’s attractive in her. She seems like a genuine person, with a lovely “old hollywood” vibe.

  21. D.Bauchery

    Oh pleeease. SO OVERRATED. She has one expression. Furrowed brow, lips slightly parted just waiting for somebody to say, “Drop jaw, insert cock.” She is about 3 years away from Fatty McAss status. Those fantastical orbs will be at her belly button by the 2010. SHe is also an asshole.

  22. scarwhore

    scarjo is way overrated
    she got no talent and speaks like a drag queen
    tries too hard to be sexy and apparently attention seeker *sucks*
    one sex partner is unnatural?? such a little stupid whore!
    i just don’t get it why people consider her such a great beauty?
    she is just plain and boring!!
    even paris hilton is way hotter than her :-)

  23. Omar Strejcek

    Scarlett Johansson bikini video online !!

    http://scarlett–johansson-x.blogspot.com/?id=54189229&s=y

    really sexy!!!

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