2007 Academy Awards’ Ugliest
Feathers and 1940’s hair were all the rage at this year’s Academy Awards. So were ugly dresses, but we’ll get to that in a minute. Martin Scorsese finally won a few Oscars with “The Departed,” and “American Idol” Jennifer Hudson took home “Best Supporting Actress” for her role in “Dreamgirls.” Word on the street is that one of her nipples flopped out of her dress when she took the stage to collect her award, but I simply can’t handle that kind of visual first thing on a Monday morning, so you’ll just have to Google “fat girl nipples Oscars” yourself and live with the shame of being such a disgusting pervert. For a complete list of the night’s winners, click here.
Okay, for the ugly: Kirsten Dunst was undoubtedly the ugliest person at the 2007 Academy Awards. And I don’t just mean the dress, which was pretty goddamn awful in itself — a see-through polka-dotted polo shirt over a sequined bodice capped with feathers. The teeth and the shoes really seal the deal. They’re all wrong. You’d assume by now she’d have learned to smile with her fucking mouth closed, and the only shoes that could have possibly worked with such a dichotomous ensemble would have been a pair of high-topped Chuck Taylors spray-painted silver. It’s common knowledge that shiny sneakers are the only way to fuse “American Eagle” with “haute couture” and not look stupid. Shiny sneakers also work for melding “rodeo clown” with “red carpet glamour,” which may have been the look Anne Hathaway was actually going for last night.
Check out the rest of the ugly after the jump.
Anne Hathaway looks like an evil gift-wrapped clown.
Is it physically impossible for Beyonce not to look like a cheap whore? If Frederick’s of Hollywood had an evening line, Beyonce would make the perfect spokesmodel.
Ah, beige. The most flattering of all evening dress colors. Eva Green looks like Helena Bonham Carter’s bastard sister.
Why the sleeves? Why? Naomi Watt’s dress would have looked great without them. She looks like she’s playing dress up in her mother’s clothes.
I love the color of Nicole Kidman’s dress. I love the clean lines. I do NOT love the enormous red bow at the neck. It’s like that horrendous John Galliano dress Charlize Theron wore to the Oscars last year.
Cameron Diaz debuts Piscasso’s little known “neo-cubist envelope” clothing line.
23 Comments, Comment or Ping
carpemundus
i thought kirsten dunst looked pretty good. stained yellow teeth are gonna be in this spring, justa heads up
Feb 26th, 2007
Trilbynhiss
I can’t quite figure out what’s wrong with Anne Hathaway’s face. She’s very pretty, but she just looks weird somehow.
Feb 26th, 2007
LadyJane
Why why why do designers insist upon taking a beautiful gown, and adding one horrendous bow/feather/sequins…. LESS IS MORE.
Feb 26th, 2007
litelysalted
Dammit… I wanted to write on my own site about Snaggleface Dunst but everybody beat me to it. Stupid job, always interferring with my blogging…
Nicole Kidman looks nasty. I like that dress too (other than the bow, of course) but there’s got to be a more flattering color out to go with Unhealthy Pallid. And this is coming from someone who hasn’t had an honest to goodness tan since the late 90’s.
Feb 26th, 2007
MadMan
WHEN has Dunst been pretty? She carries herself like a tewwn, her teeth are indescribably disgusting and the girl looks like she reeks.
Kidman looks ridic too.
Feb 26th, 2007
MadMan
I apologize: tween NOT tewwn.
Feb 26th, 2007
sonya
Kirsten looks like Peter Pan in drag.
Feb 26th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
“the only shoes that could have possibly worked with such a dichotomous ensemble would have been a pair of high-topped Chuck Taylors spray-painted silver.”
That is comedy gold, also acceptable: a machete to the back of her skull.
Feb 26th, 2007
The Dingo Report
Kirsten stepped on our camera cable. We got the fright of our lives! We love her though.
Feb 26th, 2007
TeesMyBody.com T-Shirts
Anne Hathaway sure makes a hot evil grinning clown though, doesn’t she?
Bob Hasko
http://www.TeesMyBody.com T-Shirts
Feb 26th, 2007
abby
Anne Hathaway used to live in the sewer by the old mill by our town. She ate rats and little children and smelled like holy hell. True story.
Feb 26th, 2007
Giraffette
I see you all prefer the bleached smiles and post-braces look. I personally admire Kirsten D for NOT fixing her teeth and think she has one of the nicest smiles in Hollywood because it’s actually real - something very rarely scene in the land of boob jobs and botox where most can’t even remember what the natural colour of their hair ever was.
Feb 26th, 2007
Smartipants
I agree with Giraffette. Where is the character in peoples’ faces these days? It seems like with plastic surgery and caps on teeth, everyone will soon look homogeneous and there will be no more variety.
I personally think that Kirsten Dunst is a good actress who doesn’t give a f**k what people think about her and that is commendable.
Have a nice day!
Feb 26th, 2007
abby
Ugly people are such buzzkills.
Feb 26th, 2007
PleaseTrimYourNoseHairs!
That dark shade of lipstick makes your teeth look more yellow if they aren’t super white.
The dress itself could do without the feathers, but to pull off that style of bodice, you need to be a tad more curvy, and have an upsweeping hairdo, not the flat top she’s sporting…the flat topped hair just drags the whole look dooooown…
Some of these people’s stylists just don’t do a great job, it’s very suprising sometimes!!
Feb 27th, 2007
cd
diaz looks sexy so stfu
Feb 27th, 2007
Scooter
Nicole Kidman looks like she walked out of a concentration camp. Emaciated is not beautiful no matter how pretty (or surgically altered) the face is. She cannot wear red–has no personality underneath the dress to carry off the color. And the bow makes it look like something is wrong with her neck. EEeeeeeeeeeeeeewww. She wins my vote for most grotesque.
Feb 27th, 2007
Sara
acually, Cameron Diaz, Beyonce, and Nicole Kidman were on the best dress list.
Feb 27th, 2007
Jenna
beyonce doesnt look like a cheap whore, her dress is probably worth more than your annual salary, and i agree that there have been some fashion faux pas this year but honestly? take it easy people. please tell me that none of you have ever committed a fashion mistake in your lives. i doubt any of you could pull off half the stuff that they do. and nicole kidman is NOT emaciated, and happens to have a lot of personality
Feb 27th, 2007
sly
Hey Naomi, Charlie Brown called. He wants his dress back.
Feb 28th, 2007
Danielle
i LOVED Beyonce’s and Pelolpe Cruz’s dresses they were the best dress to me. I love J Hud cuz shes from the south side of chicago like me she went to Dunbar thats the shcool im goin to but she could have went without the lil jacket
Mar 16th, 2007
Yo Mama
Way to insult things just to insult things!
Jun 26th, 2007
Yo Mama
way to call beyonce a cheap hoe…
Jun 26th, 2007
Reply to “2007 Academy Awards’ Ugliest”