Tara Conner Celebrates 90 Days Sober
Former Miss USA Tara Conner celebrated 90 days of sobriety with a giant party replete with media coverage. TMZ reports:
The rehabbed beauty queen celebrated her first three months of sobriety with a party at a Hollywood nightclub. 51 of Tara’s closest pageant contestant friends — and the press — came out to Social Hollywood to toast Tara on her crowning achievement.
Alert the media! It’s been three months since I’ve done blow in public! Three months since I got plastered and tongue-kissed a woman! Three months since I passed out under somebody’s ballsack in a puddle of my own puke! Jesus. “Ninety Days of Sobriety” has got to be the lamest fucking excuse for a party I’ve ever heard. That’s like me insisting we have a party for, oh, the three weeks I went without a bowel movement or something. A “19 Days Poop-Free” party. Which I would never do, namely because a colon full of impacted feces kinda puts a damper on the old festive spirit. An impressive feat, sure, but not exactly the ticket to a swingin’ good time. Being constipated for a month is about as much fun as spending ninety days stone-cold sober and dick-less.
6 Comments, Comment or Ping
sonya
Abby, next time you get backed up, you could always eat a bowl of Colon Blow.
Mar 16th, 2007
Italian Stallion
Who is this chick and why do I feel dirty now?
Mar 16th, 2007
abby
Or I could listen to Paris Hilton’s album. I hear it has a laxative effect.
Mar 16th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
This bimbo is sooooooooooooooooo going to do porn.
Mar 17th, 2007
boo
http://dropboxthemovie.com/
If you like celebrity sex tapes check out that site.
Mar 18th, 2007
stevie
Hmmmm AA and NA really really frown on any celebrations marking your sobriety until you have been in the program for a year. I guess she just wanted a reason to drink.
Mar 19th, 2007
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