Sarah Jessica Parker Dazzles
At this point, making fun of Sarah Jessica Parker’s ugly face is like beating a dead horse. I don’t just mean that euphemistically, like it’s an action that’s already been done excessively and without resolution; I mean she looks like a fucking dead horse that saw the business end of a shovel. She got herself all dolled up for the launch of Esquire’s “Tap Project” yesterday, and I’ve got nothing to say that I haven’t said four thousand times already. Namely, that she’s a witch, and probably eats little children for dinner after a hay-and-oat apertif. See, she’s actually more of a witch-horse hybrid. Which I’m totally gonna be the next time I plan Dungeons and Dragons, because only a Pscionist or a Wizard of High Sorcery are more powerful than that kind of ugliness.
More of the equine succubus after the jump.
27 Comments, Comment or Ping
Glunp - Celebirty Gossip
Holy shit, she looks like she has fallen down from the ugly-horse-face-three, then driven over by 15 trucks and beaten with ugly sticks by hungry Mexicans.
I think they need to put that puppy down.
Mar 22nd, 2007
abby
Or at least brush her tail regularly.
Mar 22nd, 2007
Showgrrrl
And she has a MOLE. On her CHIN! Can’t they cut that shit off?
Mar 22nd, 2007
Sorceressss
Yep, she’s pretty horrific… I’d freaking kill for that body though….
Mar 22nd, 2007
bionic bunny
sorceress- i think SHE did!
is she working on some serious five head there?
Mar 22nd, 2007
Sorceressss
LOL Bunny, you’re probably right!
Mar 22nd, 2007
sonya
That dress reminds me of what I wore for my tap recital when I was 3 years old. Seriously, I’m having flashbacks.
Mar 22nd, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Matthew Broderick has to relive that dead horse scene from The Godfather every morning, poor fellow.
Mar 22nd, 2007
ZeZe
Dont spill the water..
I’m melting!!!
Mar 22nd, 2007
Bill G
Gotta love thos one
Mar 23rd, 2007
Zell
Yeah, I’m the minority but I’ve never found her ugly. Sharp features, yes, but not ugly.
(Yikes @ that picture in Bill G’s link though)
Mar 24th, 2007
nicole
she still looks better than parisite hilton’s fugly tranny ass.
Mar 25th, 2007
D.Bauchery
Every time I see her I just want to say
“Honey - why the long face?”
Apr 5th, 2007
anominous
man she is so hottt
Jul 22nd, 2007
Rachel Ho
I think she and Felicity Huffman are pretty ugly women on TV right now. I wanted to laugh when I saw Failure to Launch. Those guys in the show are obviously acting from script. Falling over their feet for SJP? Please….she’s as uglier than a tranny.
Mar 11th, 2008
gio
On TV, she sometimes she looks ugly and sometimes looks beautiful.
I saw her in real life, and she was H-I-D-E-O-U-S.
You’d “kill for her body”?
When I saw her i was with some friends, and we saw a woman who looked from a distance as though she was dying of cancer. We were quite weirded out, and when she passed by lowered our eyes out of pity, but she said “Hi!” and was really pleasant. She is so skinny, she looks like she’s about to die.
All actors are nuts. After dating junkie Robert Downey [he's charming, though], and JFK jr., she and and nutty Matthew Broderick found love and are very, very happy living off the $29 million she made in the last year of S&TC since she threatened to quit unless they gave her executive producer credit and more money than the other actresses. She’s a c***.
Mar 22nd, 2008
MikeHunt
She’s a butter face……….you know, nice body, but her face?
Her mom used to hang a pork chop around her neck just so the dog would play with her.
If my dog looked like her, I’d shave his butt and make him walk backwards.
Mar 24th, 2008
vrojo@msn.com
I think Jessica Parker and Madonna look alike, UGLY, UGLY, UGLY. I found every female I know that liked that sex in the city was pretty boring and didn’t really have a life of their own, so I am not surprised that they like such a boring, stupid show like sex in the city. Mostly I found suburban moms like the show b/c they never had a life. (I am a 39 year old female)
Apr 2nd, 2008
spacecadet
so what if she isnt particularly attractive. this is an awfull site. i bet most of you who comment on her are uglier than her, how can you say something like this about somebody, shes probably really nice. And further on: Its nice to see NORMAL people once and a while in movies, and tv shows. Besides havnt you all seen half of hollywood actresses withough makeup.. gosh they like ten times worse.
And although her perfumes do reak….
Give her a break.
Apr 10th, 2008
Bill
Cynthia Nixon’s girlfriend could date SJP to form the supreme ugly couple of all time.
May 31st, 2008
agitator
obama for vice president in 2008!
Jun 2nd, 2008
Babs
Worlds scariest, ugliest celebs that think there HOT…
Sarah Jessica Parker
Sandra Oh
Amy Winehouse
Michele Obama
Madonna 2008 and
Michael Jackson
Jun 8th, 2008
Felipe
“how can you say something like this about somebody, shes probably really nice”
No, she’s a freaking bitch. I wouldn’t mind her ugliness if she was a good person, but she’s not and EVERYONE who worked with her hates her. And that includes the girls from Sex and the City. So get over it, she is not only ugly but also not a good person either.
Jun 9th, 2008
MOJO
IF SHE DIDNT HAVE A C>>> SHE WOULD BE 10 DEEP IN THE TIP.
Jun 9th, 2008
Moe
people who are giving her roles in movies and advertising should be sued in justice for traumatizing the public with her unpleasant ugliness associated with bitchy behavior.
Jun 11th, 2008
Honesty
I think sales of ugly sticks are going up. We’ve all been using them so much on her that we need new ones. How about we upgrade to ugly bats or ugly pipes. My arms are getting sore from using mine on her so much.
C’mon everybody! Her face looks like a foot at this point. We need to be beating her down more!
To Mr. Mathew Broderick: How does it feel to be having sex with the least sexy women according to polls? Wait, I know what you were going to say, “you don’t have sex with her”.
Jun 11th, 2008
Megan
I really do not see what is wrong with SJP. She may not be a total glamour but she is not a total dog either. It’s refreshing to see somebody a little more average on the big screen. You can’t help how you look so give her a break. Imagine if everyone who has written something negative on this site posted a pic of themselves. I’m sure you are not all gorgeous.
Jun 15th, 2008
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