Tony Parker is a Puss
If you thought it was impossible for a 6′1″ black basketball player to look like a giant pussy, prepare to be wowed like never before — Tony Parker is trying his hand at rap. Page Six reports:
Tony Parker’s new rap record sounds like unhip-hop to us. The San Antonio Spur and fiancé of “Desperate Housewives” star Eva Longoria yesterday released his debut album, “Balance-toi,” in which he’s heard bragging in French about his lavish lifestyle. Some of the less-than-impressive lyrics translate as: “What, you want to dance? No, it’s not worth it. Me, I’ll stay on the sofa, enjoying the vibe by raising my arms.”
That’s got the dope rythm and the fresh flava of Borat singing a Christmas carol. French people just shouldn’t attempt rap. Or world wars, for that matter. “They call me Tony P! My penis is most impressive! Ladies often congregate while I recline on my chair! Je suis un beau papillon! I have many diamonds!” Enjoy the linguistic stylings of the crappiest rapper to come straight outta Marseilles, yeaux.
14 Comments, Comment or Ping
Osbourne Black
This dude needs a Shaq attack.
Mar 27th, 2007
Tine
Hate him and Eva! I wish they would both go away. I can’t wait for Desperate Housewives to get the axe so we don’t have to see all those bitches every day!
Mar 27th, 2007
abby
I especially hate that Eva made an appearance in the video. Puss!
Mar 27th, 2007
RichPort
That’s wiggety wack yo. Where’s Osh with the freestyle skills when you niggity need her???
Mar 27th, 2007
Fab
Well… I’m a french fan of Yeeeah.com and I’d like to say : don’t believe Tony P. is the “standard french rapper”. TP seems to have this dream (making a rap album) since he’s a kid. Now, with all the money and the fame, he can afford it. Good for him, not for our ears. Because you’re right : it’s a real bullshit, and it’s worst when you understand french
But you should know that, here, in the country of the smelly cheese, we also have great rap singers - with a touch of french flavor. You should try to listen Abd Al Malik
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=85359386
or Joey Starr
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=59542533
A bientôt !
Mar 27th, 2007
Italian Stallion
Him and K-Fed should tour together. Then, MAYBE someone will actually show up. Depends on what Eva is doing that day…………
Mar 27th, 2007
beerdotcom182
Yo Vanilla kick it one time boyeeeee! I can’t stand Eve Shortgoria or this fruit.
Mar 27th, 2007
So
“French people just shouldn’t attempt rap. Or world wars, for that matter.”
Come on now, could you even name a single french rapper ? Don’t think so so please shut the f*ck up, will ya ? Open your eyes and ears you american dumbass. I know it’s kinda hard for you since you haven’t been brought up in a very smart country and i’m sorry for you but Puh-lease, stop this dissing when you don’t even know what you’re talking about.
But you’re right on one point, though, TeePee sucks at rapping, just as you, american ppl, suck at war in Irak. Should i even mention the re-election of your dear f*cked-up, di*k-face president ?
Mar 28th, 2007
beerdotcom182
So, you seem so vewry wise….please tell us more. I’m pretty sure the writer for this article is directly responsible for the war in Iraq (note correct spelling).
Mar 28th, 2007
James Clay Jensen
Shut the hell up you morons. Tony Parker is the bomb and is the best point gaurd in the NBA playing for the soon-to-be World Champions yet again. Let him play French rapper if he wants to.
May 26th, 2007
sammo
Tony Parker makes me vomit with it’s retarded ugly face.
May 31st, 2007
Dee Vee
Can’t stand that creepy , ugly faced Tony Parker! I mean I love everyone, except him. He is so ugly, and creepy that it is shocking how just downright ugly his face is! And funnier yet is that he is seeing Eve Langoria, Ha Ha Ha, now she ca practice her maternal instincts toward a trully creepy looking guy! For real this guy is UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jun 13th, 2007
Jhnlannery
The inevital steaming pile of crap attempt at being a “legit rapper” is the all too common and pathetic result of friends, relatives and hangers on enabling. Where do we begin with this arrogant, vastly overrated point guard? Yes he’s got foot speed and some athleticism. But an All Star AND MVP of the NBA Finals??!!! Just shows how terrible the 2007 NBA East Finalists of 2007 were compared to ANY of the top 5 Western Conference teams of ‘07. Tony Parker is NOT an All Star caliber player. This smug, smirky, arrogant player could NEVER, I REPEAT, NEVER carry a team by himself like Kobe or Tim Duncan or Manu Ginobli can. Tony Parker would not have any accolades or awards in the NBA if he couldn’t play next to Tim Duncan. Put Tony Parker on the T-wolves with their current roster and they would not be a better team and he’d NEVER see a championship. He should be kissing Duncan’s but for the rest of his life that he even got an NBA championship ring. Using the criteria I just wrote, He’s not even top 5 at the point guard position in the NBA. I can’t wait till this overrated French a-hole has to survive without Duncan and Ginobili carrying his inflated ego driven self. I guarantee Eva won’t be around and neither will playoff success if he ALONE is called upon to carry an average or below average NBA team to glory!
Dec 20th, 2007
tony parker is a coon
Tony parker stop fucking eva and giving her aids you piece of shit …you fucking coon stop spreading your nigger AIDS
May 4th, 2008
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