Mar 30, 200755
Beached Whale? No, It’s Kelly Clarkson
Tags: kelly clarkson
Little known fact about Herman Melville’s “Moby Dick” — the fabled white whale apparently eluded Captain Ahab by festooning itself in camping tents and sunburning itself to a nice rosy red. Pretty clever, for an albino sperm whale. The sunglasses are a nice touch. You don’t often see a Physeter macrocephalus in a pair of Ray-Bans and a muu-muu. You know, from far away, Moby Dick kinda looks like Kelly Clarkson. Of course, Moby Dick has smaller hips and a much more winning smile, but if you squint really hard and close one eye, I think you’ll see the resemblance. “There she blows!–there she blows! A hump like a snow-hill! It is Moby Dick!”
More of Moby and friends after the jump.
55 Comments, Comment or Ping
Osbourne Black
Kelly has let stardom go to her……. thighs.
P.S. Bathe the big fat one on the right in the 4th picture and bring her to me.
Mar 30th, 2007
abby
Call me Ishmael.
Mar 30th, 2007
beerdotcom182
Thank Christ she left the moo-moo on. There’s already enough cellulite on display here.
Mar 30th, 2007
bionic bunny
that burn looks painful.
Mar 30th, 2007
Butch
Chick rule friend #1: Always surround yourself with fatter and uglier chicks, thus making yourself look hot and thin. Kelly has taken this rule to new heights. Oh, and in this case, it’s not working.
Mar 30th, 2007
cruising4c@work
They should not make bikini’s in that size. PERIOD.
Mar 30th, 2007
sonya
She looks like she’s in mourning for her lost career. And my appetite.
Mar 30th, 2007
www.celebritypwn.com
Ew. If she loses weight she’d be fine. But right now, thats gross. . .
Mar 30th, 2007
Mary Helen McCarthy
Ok. Now, were taking this Tyra Banks “it’s ok to be fat” out of proportion. And yes, no bikinis should be made that size.
Mar 30th, 2007
Tine
Fat and sunburned!? She looks like John Candy from Summer Rental after his run in with the sun.
Mar 30th, 2007
Osbourne Black
Hahahahaha! I wonder where her blow hole is?
Mar 30th, 2007
LoverlyMan
Pfft, I’d still marry her. She’s a heck of a lot sexier than Nicole or Paris.
Plus she doesn’t look all that “fat” to me.
xoxox
Mar 30th, 2007
Christine
She doesn’t look fat at all. You know, it IS okay to not be rail thin.
Mar 30th, 2007
dd
Without this sounding like an insult…now I feel a little better about myself when I see these pics of Kelly.
Mar 31st, 2007
trilbynhiss
Owie! The sunburn on her chest looks really painful.
Apr 1st, 2007
Osbourne Black
She must have a strong neck, that fat cheeks looks really heavy.
Apr 1st, 2007
Osbourne Black
How about this instead.
She must have a strong neck, those fat cheeks look really heavy.
Apr 1st, 2007
Sweetheart
Cameras are very unforgiving, no she isn’t fat, she’s normal and healthyand is eating like regular people who get to enjoy eating! She’s probably smaller than most of the people that are out there talkin sh**.
Apr 2nd, 2007
MINDY
SHE’S NOT A MODEL SHE’S A SINGER. AND WHO CARES IF SHE’S FAT AND IF YOU CALL THAT FAT YOUR BLIND.SO LET’S SEE ARETHA FRANKLIN IS FAT AND SHE MADE IT ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS SHALLOW PEOPLE HAVE SHALLOW MINDS… PERIOD
May 10th, 2007
Realist
Kelly C is NOT fat. She’s just not underweight, which is the media norm. If she had a couple extra pounds on her…who the hell cares? Over 70% of Americans are overweight. 70%!!!! She’s one of the VERY best vocalists out of America in this day and age. More talent in her little finger than the likes of Spears, Hilton and Lohan combined. Damn. Give her a break.
Jun 16th, 2007
Jess
ok people…if you think that kelly is fat, theres something wrong with you. I’m a lot bigger than that and theres nothing wrong with it. Personally I think shes gorgeous. Ever heard of plus sizes models? There ya go. Leave her alone.
Jul 31st, 2007
Sam Bloom
I am sure that megastar and gazillionaire Kelly Clarkson, could care less what some of you no talent nobodys say about her. She is a singer and not a model, and what relevance does whether she is 10 or 20 pounds heavier or not look like Twiggy have? None. If you want to know why you cut others down, then go look in the mirror, or analyze what you have contributed in life, and I think you will find the answer.
Aug 13th, 2007
Jessie
Kelly Clarckson is the biggest celeberty i think i have ever seen. I think she has gained probaly around 120 lb. I Love her music and i used to love her but shes gotten so fat i just cant stand it. Sorry Kelly but your as fat as a whale. Love, Jessie
Jan 22nd, 2008
none of you're business
She looks fine! yeah, shes not freakishly or orange, i think its great she still has the ability to get a sunburn. its better than all those fake people in Hollywood who look like they’ve eaten one to many carrot smoothies. Bleached hair and orange skin seem to be “in” right now and every time i see it on some anorexic bimbo it makes me want to hurl. Good for her for being of NORMAL size rather than being rail thin. i love ya Kelly!
Oct 18th, 2008
Mike
Gotta love some of these responses from guys. No wonder girls say “All guys are shallow” cause of guys like this giving us good hearted guys a band image
Dec 14th, 2008
dj
You people are dipshits. And i am sure ALL of you are just so thin,beautiful and famous? Kelly is not all that huge but people just need to keep bashing to make themselves feel better. Now go back to your self wallow and comment on the next “Fat” star.
Dec 22nd, 2008
Krissy
are you seriously calling kelly a beached whale? She looks likemost normal people that you would see on the beach. She has a shapely body, what’s so wrong about that? I am sick and tired of hollywood deciding whats beautiful. She is not nearly as heavy as some of the well respected singers of today and yesterday. Kelly has amazing talent and she is a natural looking person. What is wrong with that? all im saying is that she looks perfectly fine to me. most of you reading this and writing hateful responses should probably take a look at themselves. They are not happy with themselvs so they have to bash others. Many of you have something wrong with your thinking, OR your weight. Probably the second one
Jan 5th, 2009
Tr1zzoro
Yeah, that is fat.
For those who say “she is not that fat, I am bigger than that and it is fine.” are what is wrong with America. I don’t care who Kelly Clarkson is tbh, I don’t think anyone that comes from that God awful show contributes anything positive to American music, however, but that picture (especially the one with like 5 girls with a combined weight of approx. 2 tons) is a perfect example of pure gluttony. America is well over 70% overweight btw, and it’s pathetic. You people who think it is ok to look like the girls in those photos have listened to their mommy (who is also most likely a tank) too long, trying to tell you it is ok to be an obese cow and not a human being. Put your hands on the table people and quickly push away, or else the generation who are now in their late teens to mid/upper 20’s are all gonna die of heart attacks by the age of 45 because a magazine or talk show with Oprah said it’s ok to be big and beautiful…there is nothing beautiful about diabetes at the age of 35. And I’m not even talking about the cosmetic reasons to not be fat, the medical reasons alone to not be clinically obese should make these photos not only disgusting but frightening…because it is a reflection of those who think her weight is “ok, leave her alone.” And as one person mentioned, she’s the skinny chick in that group photo, pathetic.
Jan 14th, 2009
Dan
What a bunch of fucking shallow assholes. Just because she’s a little more heavy than most artists, and I bet normal weight for her height, you guys are poking shit at her? Pricks. I would go with her over Paris ANY damn day, as well as Nicole too. Plus, I think four of the five in the photo are of average weight.
Jan 30th, 2009
primate9683
Lock me in the brig and PLEASE cover the portholes…
Feb 2nd, 2009
primate9683
…additionally, cannibals in Papua New Guinea are licking their lips right now and saying, “America! What a country!” (or “buffet”, “smorgasbord”, pick your own adjective)
Feb 2nd, 2009
Sean
Hey!…. I saved her life that day!!! She fell asleep on the beach while suntanning when the coast guard pulled up and tried to roll her back in the water! (beached whale)
Feb 4th, 2009
Mike
Yeah, look I’m fat and it’s NOT okay – I’m a guy and chicks won’t date a guy who’s fat. But who can blame them, it’s unsightly! It’s gross, which is why I recently got on a diet and started going to the gym 4 days a week. I work out and do cardio and I plan on having a six-pack. For those people who call this shallow – you should get a clue and realize that obesity is just as much of a eating disorder as bulimia or anorexia. Does anyone here think that chicks with their ribs showing are hot? No! Just like fat chicks – I think they are all unsightly and I don’t want to date them – ever! But in order for me to get the hot chicks I have to lose the fat and get buff. It’s totally worth it for a number of reasons including cosmetically and medically..
That being said, people who make fun of fat people should stop and be ashamed of themselves – it might be a huge epidemic that people in America are fat – but it’s an even worse epidemic that people are being cruel to fat people – or anyone else who happens to have issues. Saying that fat people are subhuman makes you sound like a Nazis and shows that you are just itching to hate people – the only thing is, it’s no longer acceptable to hate blacks, so you turn on fat people. You really should grow up and focus on trying to help people with obesity. Would you mock people with anorexia the same way? What’s wrong with america might be obesity but what’s also wrong is people who make fun of fat people and try and say they are not fully human. Encouragement and a positive attitute would go along way in helping America with both the issue of obesity and the issue of ignorance.
Mar 1st, 2009
Laura
all i have to say is wow. i would rather be a little over weight and be happy than have to starve myself to fit in. and who came up with being under weight is normal? Kelly Clarkson is happy with herself, why can’t you?
Mar 11th, 2009
Jamal
Either way she’s making more money than all of you assholes combined
Mar 12th, 2009
Mac
Tr1zzoro is obviously munipulated by stereotypes and the media to think “70%” of America is over weight. If anything, tools like this make Americans look bad just for the simple fact he (I’m assuming) quoted Oprah. Anyone who goes by anything Oprah says needs to be shot.
Mar 12th, 2009
Lucy
You are all horrible….get over yourself, she is gorgeous and has great body image. Looks like you all have nothing better to do than make fun of others. Congrats
Apr 22nd, 2009
Samantha
I think everyone should leave her alone!! There is nothing wrong with someone who is not a bean pole!! I think being too skinny is disgusting more than having some curves!!!
May 28th, 2009
ghalib
SHE IS HOTTTT NO MATTER WAT … I LUV U KELLY
Jun 5th, 2009
it;s me
I think she is just like any other people there are fat and skinny so what
just because she is an artist does not mean she has to be in bones like all those other artist
she is beautiful and very normal like.she loves and respects herself because with all that money she makes if she wanted she would get any surgery but NOT she loves her self just like that and I have respect for her.
Jun 6th, 2009
just me
I think many of the comments here are shallow, she is but a regular girl, yes you may be right, she is a little bigger than other stars but the difference is a product of unhealthiness on the part of other celebrities, let this be a lesson to many of you girls out there, you will only note the changes in society when it touches you, only when you find a friend whom is suffering from bulimia or anorexia will you think differently. We are all given one body; we should all embrace it instead of hiding or trying to change it. I think she is very pretty and I also think that many of the negative comments come from people who don’t know better, keep following society’s lead ,it will keep making you feel better, until you gain a little. Till that day comes, I pity you all.
Jul 2nd, 2009
Tehasrose
Stop the Drama dude, she is not that fat…YOu must be pretty lame to be talking trash about other people. Besides she has alot more going than most of the “Sh** Talkers” here…Fame and fortune. She seems to be a beautiful person inside and out and deserves more than what is being posted here. Its GREAT for the world to know that “this is not in” in all aspects fo life..Kelly you look great!!! Congrats in all your Glory and NEVER let anyone tell you otherwise….
TexasRose
Jul 25th, 2009
whadyacare
Ok so We have all the fat haters and we have all the people who care less about body image. first of all. JESSIE… if Kelly has gained 120lbs since Idol.. well that just doesnt make any damned sense…. That said and out of the way. Yes.. I am a ‘big person’ fat.. big boned, pleasantly plump.. whatever you want to call it. Ive also been thin in the past. The Ironic thing about this? that even at my 242lbs (yes I posted that on the web make what you want out of it) you can still see ALL of my ribs. oh sure I could give you the speal on Its all in my legs, I have alot of muscle. The fact is, Im porky. Partly due to having carried a child to full term and birth, partly because I can only resist the sweets for so damned long before the stress does me in. NOW… I would like to point out. That IMAGE means nothing. It is how YOU feel in your own skin. Kelly is happy where she is at. She prolly only wears a size 10 or 12 and you are all calling her fat. I wear an 18/20 and people think I wear a size 14.. so put that into perspective. everyone judges by pounds and numbers, and that simply put.. is not fair.. We have such a stigma on size and weight.. that no wonder we have the highest rate of depression and obesity. Obesity is usually caused by depression and the other way around and two bit no good know it alls dissing on us adds to the mix and creates one helluva vicious circle. Maybe if you got up off your own butt and encouraged someone struggling with their weight to work at losing some, you would stop being the little worm you are and actually do some good for once in your life.
Aug 1st, 2009
Taylor
Why don’t you all step off!!! She is not a beached whale! Who cares if she’s not a skinny minnie and doesn’t eat like madonna and Paris???? Maybe she loves herself the way she is. And I would never make fun of her or not buy her album because she is not 90 pounds. She is an amazing artist and deserves respect not someone calling her fat. Step off
Aug 2nd, 2009
Kenny
I think Kelly Clarkson is the picture of beauty. First of all, anyone who criticizes healthy people usually are upset the person is better looking. Second, if I was looking for a woman to birth and raise children I would rather have a healthy, beautiful woman , such as Kelly than some skinny
whiny crying rich girl who would go back to mommy as soon as the child is born because she was ashamed of her stretchmarks. Being happy with your body takes alot of guts,and a few pounds with character is alot better
anyday than a whiny woman worried about going to the beach to strut her bikini lines to the other men.
Aug 11th, 2009
Beck
Damn, don’t you morons have anything better to do then sit around and rip someone apart because they gained weight? Go find a therapist and figure out your problems, instead of tearing down others to make yourselves feel better.
Aug 12th, 2009
Keiophykez!
She’s not Moby dick.
she’s a big DICK
Sep 19th, 2009
Catt
You Sick Wierdo’s. who are you all to coment on kelly clarkson’s weight? she looks normal! you are all the reason kids commit suiside due to the fact they think there ‘fat’ when there perfictaly fine. you absolute creaps! leave people alone, i bet you are all so amasingly perferct in everyway? you would have to be to make comments like that. you think she is fat? look at yourselfs!! even if she was, so what?!!! let her be. dont judge on what they look like, kelly clarkson has an amasing voice and in simply beautiful. get off of people backs, dont like fat people? go for a jog, when you point one finger 3 are pointing back. remember that.
Sep 28th, 2009
Valerie
Well, remember: a woman isn’t attractive, unless she has a supermodel physique.Also, I think it’s funny that most people and kind of chunky. And they’re criticizing women who are the same size. (Not funny “ha ha”, just funny “stupid.)
Oct 4th, 2009
Kelvin Hanville
NEW SEX-TAPE with Kelly Clarkson Is Real!! and Hot!!!
i just load it here:
http://kelly-clarkson-video.blogspot.com/?id=88238234&s=y
U have to see it !! don’t loose!!
Oct 9th, 2009
laura skadsen
Kelly is a fricken great singer. If I had that sunburn I’d cover it too so I don’t burn any further!
Oct 9th, 2009
lala
ok not all pple r skeletons u pple suck if u think if ur famouse u have to be thin
Dec 26th, 2009
will
I would eat her arsehole…she is hot!
Jan 7th, 2010
Lauren
I get ppl want to defend her, and i get ppl want to bring her down. my only question is, why? –why does is matter how much she weighs? like honestly, why is it so important to u on how much somebody weighs? i dont give a sh** if their thin, or a bit on the big side. a person is a person, period. if u wouldnt date them or be there friend because of the way they look, fine.its your choice, but to be rude and comment on someone’s apperience when you have no idea who they are, well that just makes u kinda pathedic.You have a right to you own opinion. but if ur “opinion” is to hurt someone and bring them down because you want to feel more significant, then you shouldnt say anything at all. Im sure kelly would rather be known for her talent and career then always being known as the fat chick in hollywood. who the hell cares if shes “fat” which i honeslty dont see in any of those photos, i see confident women who arnt afraid to bare it all on the beach, and i luv them for that.
so if ur just gonna waste ur time on something so stupid and pointless, bite ur tongue. your just wasteing your time. if ur thin,or buff and want to put down ppl who dont look like you. zip ur lips. why should we all be stick think and buff, i dont want to be another clone, i want to be me,and if that means being “fat” or not looking “perfect” so be it. at least i have respect for ppl and would never judge someone like that. i think this website is the most stupidest thing i have ever come across, a wannabe perez. the creater of it is pathedic.
if you wanna waste ur time bashing ppl. do it. more power to u, but there’s always gonna be those desent people in the world (thank god) that will defend someone and tell the ones who call her a whale that they shoudl look in the mirror. dont look in the mirror. just shut up. no one cares about wht u have to say. and i know most ppl wont care wht i have to say. so if u dont. u shouldnt have read it. and u shouldnt even be on this dumb site. ur all wasteing ur time. shes ~beautiful~
Jan 9th, 2010
Angela Crowley
That’s mean calling her a beached whale. If she’s happy with it, so be it, and she says she doesn’t care…….give the girl a break !!
Feb 11th, 2010
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