Dying to know the secret to musician Keith Richard’s longevity? It’s not heroin or booze or the endless stream of groupie pussy — it’s ingesting the remains of your predecessors. TMZ reports:

There’s very little in the physical world that Keith Richards hasn’t, by his own admission, ingested either by mouth or by nose — including his father’s ashes. The Rolling Stones axeman revealed that he once snorted the remains of his own dad leavened with a bit of cocaine to make it go down easier. “He was cremated and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn’t have cared … It went down pretty well, and I’m still alive,” says Keith.

I thought that time I snorted Ajax and washed it down with Drano was a wicked buzz, but it’s gotta be nothing compared to inhaling your father’s cremated remains. Granted, I was trying to kill myself with toxic household cleaning agents, but the point is I still tripped balls. I guess the trick now is just finding somebody who slings burned-up dead people and the party can really start.

UPDATE: TMZ is now reporting that the above statement isn’t true, saying “According to Jane Rose in an email message, Richard’s dad-ingesting comment was “Said in jest … Can’t believe anyone took [it] seriously.” Ajax and Drano are still the next best buzz for your weekend shenanigans! And that’s a fact.